Hollie Harris
@allholls.bsky.social
Writer. Mom. Storyteller. GenXer. And apparently the person in charge of what's for dinner until the end of time.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cht5nalgj45dnd2ntfglleqx/feed/aaaic45kyskvo
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Pinned
Hollie Harris
@allholls.bsky.social
· Nov 13
My family likes to play a fun game where they whine that they're starving and can't wait to eat while I'm cooking dinner, and then take forever to come to the table when dinner is ready.
If at first you don't succeed, let someone else do it.
-me, whenever I try fixing something and make it even worse
-me, whenever I try fixing something and make it even worse
November 25, 2025 at 6:10 PM
If at first you don't succeed, let someone else do it.
-me, whenever I try fixing something and make it even worse
-me, whenever I try fixing something and make it even worse
My husband is missing the dad gene that makes one get upset when kids leave the lights on in a room or turn up the thermostat to a ridiculous temp, because he's the one who's always doing that crap.
November 24, 2025 at 5:50 PM
My husband is missing the dad gene that makes one get upset when kids leave the lights on in a room or turn up the thermostat to a ridiculous temp, because he's the one who's always doing that crap.
It's not a family vacation if the kids haven't complained about how you're making them do stuff at least three times.
November 21, 2025 at 3:05 PM
It's not a family vacation if the kids haven't complained about how you're making them do stuff at least three times.
8yo: Mom, I just noticed something about shampoo.
Me: Yeah?
8yo: It has poo in the name!
Me: Yeah?
8yo: It has poo in the name!
November 17, 2025 at 2:18 PM
8yo: Mom, I just noticed something about shampoo.
Me: Yeah?
8yo: It has poo in the name!
Me: Yeah?
8yo: It has poo in the name!
People just don't stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.
November 16, 2025 at 4:56 PM
People just don't stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.
I'm pretty sure my kids are in the 100th percentile for being loud.
November 14, 2025 at 11:38 PM
I'm pretty sure my kids are in the 100th percentile for being loud.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: Hopefully somewhere your email can't find me.
Me: Hopefully somewhere your email can't find me.
November 14, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: Hopefully somewhere your email can't find me.
Me: Hopefully somewhere your email can't find me.
I put the TV remote control in my hoodie pocket so it wouldn't get lost in the couch cushions.
Guess who was searching everywhere for the remote control fifteen minutes later?
Guess who was searching everywhere for the remote control fifteen minutes later?
November 13, 2025 at 11:48 PM
I put the TV remote control in my hoodie pocket so it wouldn't get lost in the couch cushions.
Guess who was searching everywhere for the remote control fifteen minutes later?
Guess who was searching everywhere for the remote control fifteen minutes later?
*my kid being dramatic*
Me: Save the drama for...someone else's mama.
Me: Save the drama for...someone else's mama.
November 13, 2025 at 1:44 PM
*my kid being dramatic*
Me: Save the drama for...someone else's mama.
Me: Save the drama for...someone else's mama.
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, but it's just me trying to find my charging cord my 14yo took in his messy room.
November 12, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, but it's just me trying to find my charging cord my 14yo took in his messy room.
"This is extortion."
-Me to the popup demanding I give them my email to unlock the print button for the recipe on their ad-covered page
-Me to the popup demanding I give them my email to unlock the print button for the recipe on their ad-covered page
November 11, 2025 at 8:31 PM
"This is extortion."
-Me to the popup demanding I give them my email to unlock the print button for the recipe on their ad-covered page
-Me to the popup demanding I give them my email to unlock the print button for the recipe on their ad-covered page
Me: Kids are at school, the husband is gone. Finally some peace and quiet.
*sees tree removal company trucks pull up across the street at my neighbor's house*
Me: Crap.
*sees tree removal company trucks pull up across the street at my neighbor's house*
Me: Crap.
November 10, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Me: Kids are at school, the husband is gone. Finally some peace and quiet.
*sees tree removal company trucks pull up across the street at my neighbor's house*
Me: Crap.
*sees tree removal company trucks pull up across the street at my neighbor's house*
Me: Crap.
My kid after finding the remote control using the TV app: What did you do when you couldn't find the remote when you were a kid?
Me: We didn't have a TV with a remote until I was a little older than you.
My kid: No remote control?!
Me: I was the remote control.
Me: We didn't have a TV with a remote until I was a little older than you.
My kid: No remote control?!
Me: I was the remote control.
November 8, 2025 at 3:39 PM
My kid after finding the remote control using the TV app: What did you do when you couldn't find the remote when you were a kid?
Me: We didn't have a TV with a remote until I was a little older than you.
My kid: No remote control?!
Me: I was the remote control.
Me: We didn't have a TV with a remote until I was a little older than you.
My kid: No remote control?!
Me: I was the remote control.
"I should've appreciated you and spent more time with you when I was younger. I'm sorry I took you for granted."
-me, talking to the sleep I'm about to try and get
-me, talking to the sleep I'm about to try and get
November 7, 2025 at 11:38 PM
"I should've appreciated you and spent more time with you when I was younger. I'm sorry I took you for granted."
-me, talking to the sleep I'm about to try and get
-me, talking to the sleep I'm about to try and get
Nobody:
Me: I wonder how that pen pal from France I paid $1 for in first grade and exchanged two letters with before never hearing from her again is.
Me: I wonder how that pen pal from France I paid $1 for in first grade and exchanged two letters with before never hearing from her again is.
November 7, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Nobody:
Me: I wonder how that pen pal from France I paid $1 for in first grade and exchanged two letters with before never hearing from her again is.
Me: I wonder how that pen pal from France I paid $1 for in first grade and exchanged two letters with before never hearing from her again is.
Hide and Seek, but it's just me looking for all the cups and mugs my 14yo and husband have accumulated in different rooms.
November 6, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Hide and Seek, but it's just me looking for all the cups and mugs my 14yo and husband have accumulated in different rooms.
Not to brag, but I actually could believe it wasn't butter.
November 5, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Not to brag, but I actually could believe it wasn't butter.
People are putting up Christmas decorations already while I'm over here deciding how long I can put off taking my Halloween decorations down.
November 5, 2025 at 12:40 AM
People are putting up Christmas decorations already while I'm over here deciding how long I can put off taking my Halloween decorations down.
If teleportation existed, my husband would still be late to everything.
November 4, 2025 at 2:43 PM
If teleportation existed, my husband would still be late to everything.
Men: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Me:
Me:
November 4, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Men: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Me:
Me:
Reposted by Hollie Harris
New Olympic event:
Cats running down stairs knowing their food’s just been put out.
Cats running down stairs knowing their food’s just been put out.
November 2, 2025 at 12:01 AM
New Olympic event:
Cats running down stairs knowing their food’s just been put out.
Cats running down stairs knowing their food’s just been put out.
Reposted by Hollie Harris
Bro, I know babies that create better content in their diapers than you do on your social media.
November 2, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Bro, I know babies that create better content in their diapers than you do on your social media.
Reposted by Hollie Harris
The weird sounds coming from the bedroom are just me trying on some jeans.
November 2, 2025 at 4:51 PM
The weird sounds coming from the bedroom are just me trying on some jeans.
Reposted by Hollie Harris
Every October, I still look for the kid I used to be, running down the street in a plastic mask.
November 2, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Every October, I still look for the kid I used to be, running down the street in a plastic mask.
Reposted by Hollie Harris
One day I will be able to wash a ladle and not spray water all over myself but today is not that day.
November 3, 2025 at 1:01 AM
One day I will be able to wash a ladle and not spray water all over myself but today is not that day.