Ian Against the Machine
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alkalinian.bsky.social
Ian Against the Machine
@alkalinian.bsky.social
330 followers 450 following 1.1K posts
Writer, editor, North American scum. 8647. Remember this: Try.
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alkalinian.bsky.social
I’ve fallen off as an MLB fan due to living outside the White Sox TV market, but putting a pennant elimination game on fucking Fox Sports One still strikes me as a war crime.
ESPN app showing tonight’s ALCS matchup airing on a fucking afterthought network
October 20, 2025 at 12:05 AM
alkalinian.bsky.social
I have a lot of requests
October 12, 2025 at 1:50 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Wheel of Fortune puzzle: J_ST DI_ ALR_AD_
October 11, 2025 at 2:01 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
From “Seinfeld”: Newman standing in front of Jerry exclaiming “VILE WEED!”
October 10, 2025 at 3:17 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Jeffrey Tambor as George Bluth in Arrested Devopment: “I’ve got the worst fucking [opposition party].”
September 29, 2025 at 1:35 AM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Bet.
From the original photo: a discarded placard on the ground reads, EVERY ICE AGENT WILL BE HELD TO ACCOUNT
September 19, 2025 at 5:51 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Getting a lot of mileage out of this one lately
A group of magicians in costume stand with a sign saying “We Demand To Be Taken Seriously” (from Arrested Development)
September 17, 2025 at 4:18 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
A group of magicians in costume stand together with a sign saying, “We Demand To Be Taken Seriously” (from Arrested Development)
September 16, 2025 at 5:20 AM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Bag’s going back on.
Chicago Bears fan wearing a frowny-face paper bag over their head
September 15, 2025 at 3:47 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
I love butterfly app
Screenshot showing the user mentioned above was already on one of my block lists
September 12, 2025 at 6:42 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Usually a round pizza with thin cracker-crust, cut into squares. Behold, the food of my homeland
Chicago-style “tavern cut” pizza: round thin-crust pie cut into squares (and probably sausage rather than pepperoni)
September 3, 2025 at 6:44 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
September 2, 2025 at 8:17 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Photoshop of a balcony scene from “The Death of Stalin,” featuring JD Vance as Georgy Malenkov, Trump Jr. as Vasily Stalin, and Mike Johnson as Nikita Khrushchev
September 2, 2025 at 6:21 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
September 2, 2025 at 1:59 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
And the horde is ready to ride.
A picture of IL Governor JB Pritzker as Genghis Khan, riding a horse with a falcon on his arm.
August 25, 2025 at 9:05 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
This is why we ride with the Great Khan.
IL Governor JB Pritzker as Genghis Khan, mounted on a horse with a falcon on his arm
August 22, 2025 at 3:34 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Batman breaking a gun labeled “Generative AI” saying, “This is the weapon of the enemy. We do not need it. We will not use it.”
August 21, 2025 at 1:39 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set
And blew. "Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came."
Chicago’s Sears Tower (you read that right) experiencing a blackout at night
August 2, 2025 at 3:28 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Praxis.
Picture of Fred Hampton with quote: “Theory’s cool, but theory with no practice ain’t shit.” (April 27, 1969)
July 27, 2025 at 3:25 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
This is gonna blow his mind
Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus (“The Matrix”) holding a battery (a technology Thiessen is unfamiliar with)
July 26, 2025 at 5:40 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
This whole paragraph is straight-up Newspeak.
July 24, 2025 at 3:17 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Brian Cox as Logan Roy in Succession: “Fuck off.”
July 13, 2025 at 3:35 PM
alkalinian.bsky.social
I admit I voted for Roslin in the primary.
Mary McDonnell as President Laura Roslin (from the 2000s reboot of Battlestar Galactica)
July 5, 2025 at 2:49 AM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Or suburban Chicago
Pop-punk band Smoking Popes, from the northwest Chicago suburbs
July 5, 2025 at 12:09 AM
alkalinian.bsky.social
Let it in, friend
Forest Whitaker as Saw Gerrera: “Let it in! Let it run! LET IT RUN WILD!” (from “Andor”)
July 4, 2025 at 9:43 PM