Coxie
@alexjcox.bsky.social
I write stories about farting robots and children who eat witches
November 5, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Eidra closes the door to Stuarts office. She's cool, reptilian.
"Why am I hearing through back channels Dick Cheney shot Abraham Lincoln in the Ambassador's office?" she says.
Stuart looks stunned, like she hit him in the face with a hammer, "B-b-b-wha?"
"You knew about it and didn't tell me?"
"Why am I hearing through back channels Dick Cheney shot Abraham Lincoln in the Ambassador's office?" she says.
Stuart looks stunned, like she hit him in the face with a hammer, "B-b-b-wha?"
"You knew about it and didn't tell me?"
November 4, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Eidra closes the door to Stuarts office. She's cool, reptilian.
"Why am I hearing through back channels Dick Cheney shot Abraham Lincoln in the Ambassador's office?" she says.
Stuart looks stunned, like she hit him in the face with a hammer, "B-b-b-wha?"
"You knew about it and didn't tell me?"
"Why am I hearing through back channels Dick Cheney shot Abraham Lincoln in the Ambassador's office?" she says.
Stuart looks stunned, like she hit him in the face with a hammer, "B-b-b-wha?"
"You knew about it and didn't tell me?"
"Hal, everyone thinks you're an abrasive jerk."
"They just don't know me."
A portal opens in the floor and Dick Cheney escapes from Hell. The sound of a shotgun. Abraham Lincoln drops, his chest full of birdshot.
"I'm back, baby," says Cheney doing his best Austin Powers impression.
"They just don't know me."
A portal opens in the floor and Dick Cheney escapes from Hell. The sound of a shotgun. Abraham Lincoln drops, his chest full of birdshot.
"I'm back, baby," says Cheney doing his best Austin Powers impression.
November 4, 2025 at 3:44 PM
"Hal, everyone thinks you're an abrasive jerk."
"They just don't know me."
A portal opens in the floor and Dick Cheney escapes from Hell. The sound of a shotgun. Abraham Lincoln drops, his chest full of birdshot.
"I'm back, baby," says Cheney doing his best Austin Powers impression.
"They just don't know me."
A portal opens in the floor and Dick Cheney escapes from Hell. The sound of a shotgun. Abraham Lincoln drops, his chest full of birdshot.
"I'm back, baby," says Cheney doing his best Austin Powers impression.
"Hal, I want a divorce."
"I'm only three votes away from ratifying the Law of the Maritime Whizzbang Time Travel Treaty."
"OMG."
"OMG."
Abraham Lincoln kicks the door down, "Two votes."
*credits roll*
"I'm only three votes away from ratifying the Law of the Maritime Whizzbang Time Travel Treaty."
"OMG."
"OMG."
Abraham Lincoln kicks the door down, "Two votes."
*credits roll*
November 4, 2025 at 3:33 PM
"Hal, I want a divorce."
"I'm only three votes away from ratifying the Law of the Maritime Whizzbang Time Travel Treaty."
"OMG."
"OMG."
Abraham Lincoln kicks the door down, "Two votes."
*credits roll*
"I'm only three votes away from ratifying the Law of the Maritime Whizzbang Time Travel Treaty."
"OMG."
"OMG."
Abraham Lincoln kicks the door down, "Two votes."
*credits roll*
but you know what, good for her. Can't imagine being a step-parent to an "internet personality" is easy.
October 31, 2025 at 3:26 PM
but you know what, good for her. Can't imagine being a step-parent to an "internet personality" is easy.
If there was a ringtone/alarm of her saying "don't cross the salt" I would never sleep again.
October 31, 2025 at 2:19 PM
If there was a ringtone/alarm of her saying "don't cross the salt" I would never sleep again.
Hopefully it's behind "reopen Alcatraz" and "put a nuclear reactor on the moon" on their to-do lists.
October 30, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Hopefully it's behind "reopen Alcatraz" and "put a nuclear reactor on the moon" on their to-do lists.