Coxie
@alexjcox.bsky.social
I write stories about farting robots and children who eat witches
I don't want to tell the proprietor of this coffee shop how to run their business, but letting their dog bark at every customer who comes in is not as charming as you think it is.
November 14, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I don't want to tell the proprietor of this coffee shop how to run their business, but letting their dog bark at every customer who comes in is not as charming as you think it is.
Taskmaster series 20 had a lot of great moments but the fact they all dressed as pirates for the finale and no one acknowledged it is a real highlight.
November 14, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Taskmaster series 20 had a lot of great moments but the fact they all dressed as pirates for the finale and no one acknowledged it is a real highlight.
Nice to see we're in the "billionaire nazi perverts" phase of democracy.
November 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Nice to see we're in the "billionaire nazi perverts" phase of democracy.
Well, well, well, a lot of people who said Peacock only had one good show (Poker Face) are really eating shit now that Peacock cancelled it and now has zero good shows.
November 13, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Well, well, well, a lot of people who said Peacock only had one good show (Poker Face) are really eating shit now that Peacock cancelled it and now has zero good shows.
The Dems biffed it so bad Lily Allen is going to write an album about them. #nailedit #greatpostcoxie
November 10, 2025 at 5:20 PM
The Dems biffed it so bad Lily Allen is going to write an album about them. #nailedit #greatpostcoxie
I too, am fleeing NYC (a town I've never been to and only know about through Seinfeld and Law & Order reruns).
November 5, 2025 at 3:31 PM
I too, am fleeing NYC (a town I've never been to and only know about through Seinfeld and Law & Order reruns).
The Diplomat is a great show about people scheduling and attending meetings. Then, to increase the dramatic stakes, sometimes they miss the meetings.
November 4, 2025 at 1:23 PM
The Diplomat is a great show about people scheduling and attending meetings. Then, to increase the dramatic stakes, sometimes they miss the meetings.
in today's procrastination news: just discovered that a Dancing with the Stars contestant who I'd never heard of (I am an old), has a step-mom I HAVE heard of because she was the high priced call girl (what!) who brought down Elliot Spencer (WHAT!). What a time to be alive. #blessed #dwts
October 31, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Watched WEAPONS last night and Amy Madigan is a goddamned treasure.
October 31, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Watched WEAPONS last night and Amy Madigan is a goddamned treasure.
I'm no political whizz kid, but I think firing all the competent people in government and then committing to testing nuclear weapons is a bad idea.
October 30, 2025 at 6:38 PM
I'm no political whizz kid, but I think firing all the competent people in government and then committing to testing nuclear weapons is a bad idea.
sending websites updates to MY terms of service and my "this website sucks shit" policy
October 27, 2025 at 6:47 PM
sending websites updates to MY terms of service and my "this website sucks shit" policy
Reading about food insecurity reminds me of the Nevada brothel owner who'd team up with the Hells Angels every Thanksgiving to give free turkeys to families in need. They'd give away over 700 turkeys every year.
October 27, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Reading about food insecurity reminds me of the Nevada brothel owner who'd team up with the Hells Angels every Thanksgiving to give free turkeys to families in need. They'd give away over 700 turkeys every year.
"None of this is normal!" shouted the man, unaware it was normal for everyone but him.
October 24, 2025 at 6:36 PM
"None of this is normal!" shouted the man, unaware it was normal for everyone but him.
I've listened to exactly one half of one song from the new Lily Allen album and I can tell you this: she really does not care for that guy from Stranger Things.
October 24, 2025 at 5:06 PM
I've listened to exactly one half of one song from the new Lily Allen album and I can tell you this: she really does not care for that guy from Stranger Things.
I too would like rich ding-dongs to pay a million dollars a piece to have dinner with me.
October 23, 2025 at 1:44 PM
I too would like rich ding-dongs to pay a million dollars a piece to have dinner with me.
I'm against purity tests for candidates. But if the candidate doesn't believe in the same things I believe, or if they don't come to my house every night to tuck me in, or if they don't give me several, unprompted, kisses on the forehead, they're just not getting my vote. Simple as that.
October 22, 2025 at 4:57 PM
I'm against purity tests for candidates. But if the candidate doesn't believe in the same things I believe, or if they don't come to my house every night to tuck me in, or if they don't give me several, unprompted, kisses on the forehead, they're just not getting my vote. Simple as that.
"The perfect candidate doesn't exist." - the Pod Save America guys after a congregational candidate gets caught with 37 dead cats in his freezer and tries to sell his collection of human noses on eBay.
October 22, 2025 at 4:40 PM
"The perfect candidate doesn't exist." - the Pod Save America guys after a congregational candidate gets caught with 37 dead cats in his freezer and tries to sell his collection of human noses on eBay.
"No, no, those are two lightning bolts." - Graham Platner on the SS tramp stamp he forgot he had.
October 22, 2025 at 3:46 PM
"No, no, those are two lightning bolts." - Graham Platner on the SS tramp stamp he forgot he had.
Are we sure his tattoo wasn't the start of a maze, like the trampoline guy on Community?
October 22, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Are we sure his tattoo wasn't the start of a maze, like the trampoline guy on Community?
are we still putting a nuclear reactor on the moon or nah
October 21, 2025 at 6:26 PM
are we still putting a nuclear reactor on the moon or nah
don't ask how I know this, but selling stolen Louvre jewels isn't as easy as you'd think.
October 20, 2025 at 1:39 PM
don't ask how I know this, but selling stolen Louvre jewels isn't as easy as you'd think.
Last night I changed the words from the "Let's Go Blue-Jays (clap-clap-clapclapclap)" chant to "Let's Go Fart-Jays" and let me tell you, it killed.
October 17, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Last night I changed the words from the "Let's Go Blue-Jays (clap-clap-clapclapclap)" chant to "Let's Go Fart-Jays" and let me tell you, it killed.
The movie Poltergeist (1982) is directly responsible for 98% of gen-x chickenshits.
October 16, 2025 at 5:56 PM
The movie Poltergeist (1982) is directly responsible for 98% of gen-x chickenshits.
I'm not a Springsteen man. I'm more of a Fallsteen or Wintersteen. Sumersteen in a pinch.
October 14, 2025 at 4:18 PM
I'm not a Springsteen man. I'm more of a Fallsteen or Wintersteen. Sumersteen in a pinch.
Million dollar idea: tee shirts with Humpy (the Salmon) and Cal Raleigh (the catcher) with the caption "THE HUMP AND THE DUMP"
Thank you for your attention to this matter. #mariners
PS I hope someone photoshops Humpy into all the Mariners celebration photos.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. #mariners
PS I hope someone photoshops Humpy into all the Mariners celebration photos.
October 11, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Million dollar idea: tee shirts with Humpy (the Salmon) and Cal Raleigh (the catcher) with the caption "THE HUMP AND THE DUMP"
Thank you for your attention to this matter. #mariners
PS I hope someone photoshops Humpy into all the Mariners celebration photos.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. #mariners
PS I hope someone photoshops Humpy into all the Mariners celebration photos.