agreeeed

Yes, Supernatural managed to have a discernable plot and relatively consistent character throughlines, which is more than I can say for Talamasca.

I am just. bAFFLED by it. Surely in 5 eps they'd manage to do something good by sheer accident at least? well, maybe that's the horny Guy/Jasper scenes

People keep saying "Wait, let them cook!" and I'm like... they're not cooking?? They're not even in the fucking kitchen? They havent shown me 1 recipe or proof that they bought ingredients to make it? They don't own even 1 pot and spatula? How many eps are we waiting for them to START cooking?

GOD THE SECOND GIRL. "And then in episode 2 we're going to introduce a Manic Pixie Dream Girl who has the hots for the MC immediately and will do the most Male Gazey lesbian kiss anyone's ever seen! then we kill her :)))"

BUDS. PLEASE. IT AIN'T IT. None of this is it!!

Yes. And also no similarities in the ability of the writers to comprehend and utilize the basic building blocks of story structure.

The actors, bless them, are doing the best they can with what they've got. They are acting their little hearts out, not their fault the script is incompetent dogshit

It's like every chance they have to build trust with the audience, they instead choose to masturbate furiously about spy fiction without actually understanding what makes spy fiction good or, you know, fun to watch.

and all the women they fridged or otherwise killed off. christ ALIVE

And that's not even mentioning the deliberately deceptive marketing, hauling Eric around to panels like he was gonna be a major character and saying "New Lestat song in ep5!!!" and then Eric was there for 0.5 nanoseconds and the Lestat song was just 6 seconds of "Long Face". like COME ONNNNNNN

EXACTLYYYY, I kept making jokes about holding a wine glass up to the light and going "[slurp] ooh, queerbaiting, 2005 vintage? rare to find these days!"

i should hope that Rolin and Hannah have too much self-respect as Competent Artists to even acknowledge Talamasca's existence

GOD between that and them hauling Eric around to panels and interviews like he was going to be a major character even though he's only in one episode for 0.5 nanoseconds..... great way to establish trust with your audience, buds. good job

Also weren't they saying something about a new Lestat song in ep 5????? and it was not??? a new song???? the fuck are they doing

i just watched ep 5 because i am a fool and a moron and they expect me to believe that a man with a law degree does not know the word "herpetology" so that we can real quick explain it to the very stupid audience. IWTV would not do this to me. IWTV would never condescend to me like that

right like???? fridging TWO women (arguably three if you count Guy's mom as sort-of-dead) in the first two episodes??? the Manic Pixie Dream Girl? The male-gazey lesbian kiss at the club? It's like the last 20 years of discourse and self-awareness has just flown right over its head

i will say. I do respect the queerbaiting. I find it refreshing and nostalgic. It has been so long since I had such a situation where the writers do not know that they are writing Horny Gay Content. There is something beautiful and innocent and pure about it, like a fine glass of wine

exactlyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. And the pacing is godawful. The first 4 episodes? should have all been episode 1