Alan Mills
@alanmills.bsky.social
Former teacher, Ed Charity manager in Africa and trustee of various charities.
𝙄 𝙟𝙤𝙠𝙚, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨
@alanmills405 (old twitter handle)
𝙄 𝙟𝙤𝙠𝙚, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨
@alanmills405 (old twitter handle)
Shakespeare's plays are generally seen as falling into 4 categories: comedies, histories, tragedies, and romances.
Donald Trumps' speeches are generally seen as falling into 3 categories: comedies, tragedies and downright lies
Donald Trumps' speeches are generally seen as falling into 3 categories: comedies, tragedies and downright lies
November 14, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Shakespeare's plays are generally seen as falling into 4 categories: comedies, histories, tragedies, and romances.
Donald Trumps' speeches are generally seen as falling into 3 categories: comedies, tragedies and downright lies
Donald Trumps' speeches are generally seen as falling into 3 categories: comedies, tragedies and downright lies
Metaphysics: The study of being, or what really exists. All the ‘ultimate stuff’ questions are metaphysical ones.
#TrumpMetaphysics: The study of what @realDonaldTrump
thinks exists. All the ‘ultimate stuff’ questions are just things he might tweet about.
#TrumpMetaphysics: The study of what @realDonaldTrump
thinks exists. All the ‘ultimate stuff’ questions are just things he might tweet about.
November 14, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Metaphysics: The study of being, or what really exists. All the ‘ultimate stuff’ questions are metaphysical ones.
#TrumpMetaphysics: The study of what @realDonaldTrump
thinks exists. All the ‘ultimate stuff’ questions are just things he might tweet about.
#TrumpMetaphysics: The study of what @realDonaldTrump
thinks exists. All the ‘ultimate stuff’ questions are just things he might tweet about.
Benedictine teaching: “Keep death daily before your eyes.”
November 9, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Benedictine teaching: “Keep death daily before your eyes.”
The mornin' sun when it's in my face really shows my age
They laughed at all of my jokes, oh hell, I didn't need to coax
Oh, #MAGA, no need to try any more
All I did was wreck your bed, and in the morning, kick you in the head
They laughed at all of my jokes, oh hell, I didn't need to coax
Oh, #MAGA, no need to try any more
All I did was wreck your bed, and in the morning, kick you in the head
November 1, 2025 at 12:41 PM
The mornin' sun when it's in my face really shows my age
They laughed at all of my jokes, oh hell, I didn't need to coax
Oh, #MAGA, no need to try any more
All I did was wreck your bed, and in the morning, kick you in the head
They laughed at all of my jokes, oh hell, I didn't need to coax
Oh, #MAGA, no need to try any more
All I did was wreck your bed, and in the morning, kick you in the head
A PORTRAIT OF THE MAN WHO THOUGHT HE'D MADE A MISTAKE BUT KNEW HE HAD BEEN MISTAKEN
October 29, 2025 at 5:54 PM
A PORTRAIT OF THE MAN WHO THOUGHT HE'D MADE A MISTAKE BUT KNEW HE HAD BEEN MISTAKEN
𝘽𝑳𝙊𝑾𝙃𝑨𝙍𝑫 The 3 headed monster #ForgottenMythicalBeasts
October 26, 2025 at 4:02 PM
𝘽𝑳𝙊𝑾𝙃𝑨𝙍𝑫 The 3 headed monster #ForgottenMythicalBeasts
“There is no fixing. There is only moving forward in the brokenness.”
― Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea
― Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea
October 25, 2025 at 12:24 PM
“There is no fixing. There is only moving forward in the brokenness.”
― Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea
― Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea
October 18, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Trump proudly displays the toys he got in his Happy Meal®
October 17, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Trump proudly displays the toys he got in his Happy Meal®
Pundits keep writing that the Tory Party is being "eaten alive" by Farage's ReformUK.
Impossible.
The Party of Robert Jenrick and Suella Braverman has been dead for a long time.
Impossible.
The Party of Robert Jenrick and Suella Braverman has been dead for a long time.
October 7, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Pundits keep writing that the Tory Party is being "eaten alive" by Farage's ReformUK.
Impossible.
The Party of Robert Jenrick and Suella Braverman has been dead for a long time.
Impossible.
The Party of Robert Jenrick and Suella Braverman has been dead for a long time.
Only the biggest mouth for the biggest liar #faragetaxdodger
October 3, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Only the biggest mouth for the biggest liar #faragetaxdodger
Trump looks like he's keeping his mouth shut because his false teeth fell out
September 19, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Trump looks like he's keeping his mouth shut because his false teeth fell out
The rules I didn't follow
Were the rules that I made
But no-one told me
I broke the rules that I made
Someone must be held responsible
Not for breaking the rules that I made
But for not telling me I broke the rules I didn't follow
That were the rules that I made
Were the rules that I made
But no-one told me
I broke the rules that I made
Someone must be held responsible
Not for breaking the rules that I made
But for not telling me I broke the rules I didn't follow
That were the rules that I made
September 7, 2025 at 4:42 PM
The rules I didn't follow
Were the rules that I made
But no-one told me
I broke the rules that I made
Someone must be held responsible
Not for breaking the rules that I made
But for not telling me I broke the rules I didn't follow
That were the rules that I made
Were the rules that I made
But no-one told me
I broke the rules that I made
Someone must be held responsible
Not for breaking the rules that I made
But for not telling me I broke the rules I didn't follow
That were the rules that I made
Michael Gove is personally responsible for many of the awful things this government has caused, starting with his destruction of local, democratic education.
I hope at some point a statue of him is made so we can all bring our dogs along to piss on it
I hope at some point a statue of him is made so we can all bring our dogs along to piss on it
September 2, 2025 at 11:41 AM
Michael Gove is personally responsible for many of the awful things this government has caused, starting with his destruction of local, democratic education.
I hope at some point a statue of him is made so we can all bring our dogs along to piss on it
I hope at some point a statue of him is made so we can all bring our dogs along to piss on it
Rudy Giuliani's car skidded on an oil patch
September 1, 2025 at 6:54 AM
Rudy Giuliani's car skidded on an oil patch
Ok, hear me out. A Lord of the Rings re-make, but with these two taking the One Ring to Mordor:
August 31, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Ok, hear me out. A Lord of the Rings re-make, but with these two taking the One Ring to Mordor:
Donald Trump is sealed in amber and paraded through the streets as a warning to every other dinosaur
August 31, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Donald Trump is sealed in amber and paraded through the streets as a warning to every other dinosaur
Do you think he meant to "Brexit is the most costly self-inflicted wound?"
August 28, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Do you think he meant to "Brexit is the most costly self-inflicted wound?"
Nigel Farage puts his glasses on to read the Sun, while the rest of us don a hazmat suit
August 25, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Nigel Farage puts his glasses on to read the Sun, while the rest of us don a hazmat suit
Last Christmas I was given a mug that said pretty much the same thing, but I knew that everyone was just taking the piss
August 24, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Last Christmas I was given a mug that said pretty much the same thing, but I knew that everyone was just taking the piss
People all over the country are trying to draw noughts and crosses boards for kids to play on over the summer holidays. But they just can't get it right.
August 22, 2025 at 12:20 PM
People all over the country are trying to draw noughts and crosses boards for kids to play on over the summer holidays. But they just can't get it right.
For the 10th consecutive year, Nigel Farage is the runner-up in the "Biggest Mouth, Biggest Lie" Competition sponsored by the Trump Company
June 18, 2025 at 9:26 AM
For the 10th consecutive year, Nigel Farage is the runner-up in the "Biggest Mouth, Biggest Lie" Competition sponsored by the Trump Company
Farage. Farridge. Faraage
No matter how you say it, it has always left a nasty taste in your mouth
No matter how you say it, it has always left a nasty taste in your mouth
June 8, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Farage. Farridge. Faraage
No matter how you say it, it has always left a nasty taste in your mouth
No matter how you say it, it has always left a nasty taste in your mouth