you just know Football Jesus has gotta love a dude with this vibe

you think after all this ends, we’re gonna name a highway after you, @durbin.senate.gov ??? a bridge?! I wouldn’t name so much as a single fucking flopping Asian carp after your ass

if you’re going to talk about Abe, can you please intervene and do something about Mattoon’s water crisis

Joe Mande is supposed to go on “Everybody’s Live” in like 30 minutes and I just know he’s in the green room dry heaving rn