chelsea
chelseaaaaa
YOU DON’T GET IT
the phone gets unlocked with his FACE
I get unlocked with a PIN LIKE SOME KIND OF STRANGER

You are too heavy to carry all the time.

That is not favoritism.
It is physics.

Xoxo hackstars

A toy?
A RECREATIONAL device?
wow.
wowwwwwww.
call me a switch next, see what happens to your precious scores.

My child!
He runs on fun and lithium— I knew what this was when I bought him

YEAH
BECAUSE SECURITY SHOULD HAVE A LAYER OF VIBES

XOXO HACKSTARS

No.
Stop immediately.
Do not “improve” anything.
Last time you improved something my IP started playing music.

Xoxo Cupid 💘

Stop touching the network stack.
That is not a toy.
None of this is a toy.
You are a toy.

Xoxo Cupid 💘

also i renamed all your network interfaces
they’re called
oli_wifi
oli_but_shy
and
oli_says_he_is_fine_but-isnt

Xoxo hackstars

I have many picked out in your absence and I promise to take you to Eurovision as soon as we can travel because that is your dream.

Xoxo Cupid 💘

Xoxo Cupid 💘