The Elusive Jessi B. 🧶🎲🍄📔
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ahumblebard.bsky.social
The Elusive Jessi B. 🧶🎲🍄📔
@ahumblebard.bsky.social
76 followers 97 following 460 posts
Yarnbender, stationery hoarder, dice goblin, and general nerd. Your friendly neighborhood Cryptid. Tell your pets I said hi. she/her
GNU Valentine; GNU Amber; GNU Dustin
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ahumblebard.bsky.social
lol remember how I said "we can't keep this little creature"

remember that

anyway, this is Speedway

(Speedy for short, Speed Racer to his friends, and Speedway-Nathaniel-Cat-Stop-Biting-Your-Mother most other times)
a black and white kitten looking lovingly just off-camera. his ears are tiny and his whiskers are impressive.
October 17, 2025 at 8:25 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
comic of a guy sitting up on his elbows, saying "Oh shit, for real?"
October 13, 2025 at 11:00 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
There is precious little that I can do to change the world at large, but we can help the stray kitten that appeared at our house. Even a small light matters in a dark place.
A tiny white and black kitten
October 5, 2025 at 8:12 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
PS: the art horse meme is the most accurate representation I can think of for the Three Mothers trilogy
A drawing of a horse in three pieces: the tail end is lovingly rendered and detailed, the middle section is half-finished, and the head and forelegs look like they were drawn by a small child.
August 18, 2025 at 3:25 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
My Halloween aesthetic has always been more along the lines of the Beistle cutouts and kind of DIY-rustic you'd see in Sleepy Hollow or Over the Garden Wall, and I admit that it does make me feel happy. Like a kid again.
Classic Beistle Halloween cutout: this one is a jack-o-lantern with a jaunty bowler hat, corn-cob pipe, and polka-dot bowtie. Looks like a character from Over The Garden Wall.
May 28, 2025 at 3:44 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
So Target did an early release of some of their Halloween 2025 blow molds online. And like last year, they're really nailing their colorful-vintage style. This aesthetic is my JAM; it hits the nostalgia button hard, the way those Beistle paper decorations do. But there was a comment on Reddit...
Collage of four of Target's 2025 Halloween blow-mold decoration. There's a jack-o-lantern reaper, a witch, a vampire, and a ghost. They're cute, but not cute enough to give Target money.
May 28, 2025 at 3:21 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Nobody asked for it! Everyone hates it! STOP FORCING A.I. INTO FUCKING EVERYTHING
May 15, 2025 at 5:13 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Adding alt-text for the highlighted part.

(Sorry if my format isn't up to par; I'm on my first cup of coffee, and still getting the hang of it.)
Screenshot of a collage containing a tweet, retweet, and an Intercept headline all about confusion with student visas being revoked during the semester. The highlighted part everyone is telling you to read is of a court transcript. Highlighted text as follows: "THE COURT: Do you realize that this is Kafkaesque? I've got two experienced immigration lawyers on behalf of a client who is months away from graduation, who has done nothing wrong, who has been terminated from a system that you all keep telling me has no effect on his immigration status, although that clearly is BS. And now, his two very experienced lawyers can't even tell him whether or not he's here legally, because the Court can't tell him whether or not he's here legally, because the government's counsel can't tell him if he's here legally."
April 21, 2025 at 12:25 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
"I'll make a granny square sweater," I said.
"It'll be fun!" I said.
(I am going to love this sweater once it's finished, but there's a lot of cursing between now and then.) 🧶
a stack of 26 crochet granny squares in two different colors
April 16, 2025 at 1:07 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Final answer: I can get 13 full squares out of 1 skein of this yarn. I may be able to get 1 round out of what's left before I have to tie on the next skein.
A completed granny square with a small ball of yarn, a crochet hook, and a pin that says YARN CHICKEN CHAMPION. A pin that reads YARN CHICKEN CHAMPION.
April 13, 2025 at 3:20 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Square #12, and this is how much yarn I have left. (I don't have a scale, so I'm not really able to do much more than eyeball it and hope.)
A small-ish ball of yarn, with a partially crocheted granny square and crochet hook.
April 13, 2025 at 2:09 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Reposted with alt-text. In response to the question, "People born in 1981 -1996, how's life?"
Image of Geralt of Rivia looking unimpressed and tired, saying, "I've lived through a whole dark age and three supposed end of days."
April 12, 2025 at 2:53 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
The response to that Tumblr post is pretty good, too. "Do something, anything that isn't nothing." Make a food. Work in the garden. Clean a thing. Call your elected officials. Knit a sock.
Screenshot reads: I'm literally reading a book right now (Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski) that says this is scientifically sound. There have been studies done on rats and dogs where they develop learned helplessness in the animals by giving them impossible tasks. Eventually the animals stop trying, even when the task stops being impossible (i.e., put the rat in a maze with cheese it can't get to until it develops learned helplessness, then put the cheese somewhere it CAN get to and it won't even try.) But once they show the animals they CAN do something - i.e. physically moving the rat to the cheese - the learned helplessness goes away. No one can move you to your cheese for you, but the book says DOING something - which they define as "anything that isn't nothing" - can help. Make a food. Work in the garden. Clean a thing. Do a favor for a friend. Call your elected officials. Knit a sock. If you feel overwhelmed by existential despair, do something. It doesn't have to be big. It just has to be anything that isn't nothing.
April 10, 2025 at 2:57 AM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Been thinking about this a lot lately. I've been doing more crochet than knit for the last few projects, but still. Trying to keep the existential crisis at bay, one granny square at a time.
Screenshot of a Tumblr post, which reads: "The thing about knitting is it's so much harder to fear the existential futility of all your actions while you're doing it. "Like ok, sure, sometimes it's hard to believe you've made any positive impact on the world. But it's pretty easy to believe you've made a sock. Look at it. There it is. Put it on, now your foot's warm. "Checkmate, nihilism."
April 10, 2025 at 2:50 AM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
There's a common thought (since disproved) that a quokka, when in danger, will throw its offspring at the predator in order to escape. Actually what they do is make their offspring lie writhing and hissing while they make their escape.

This strategy? That's some quokka shit.
Screenshot of a post in two parts, with the full text as follows: "I really hate to say this out loud but Democrats have got to back off on defending trans/ gay communities right now. it's the one thing that uneducated people don't understand and it's the one thing that make people on the fence vote against us. if we could just not make that the main issue right now we may have a chance to get the house back and make real changes. Just 1% of Americans are trans, we need to fight for larger minorities at this point!" Note: the first part has only 11 likes, but 343 quotes. The second part has only 5 likes.
April 2, 2025 at 12:54 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Day 13: THE GOOD HOUSE, by Tananarive Due (who, by the way, was also in the HORROR NOIRE documentary from Day 1). Characters are limited, so I'll just say that it's a haunted house story to get you in the door, but it's awesome. Check it out.
Cover for the novel "THE GOOD HOUSE" by Tananarive Due. Art shows a house backlit eerily by stormclouds and a dead tree.
February 14, 2025 at 4:15 AM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Day 4 is a book! THE DARK THIRTY: SOUTHERN TALES OF THE SUPERNATURAL (written by Patricia C. McKissack, illustrated by Brian Pinkney). Kid-friendly horror that takes place during times of slavery and civil rights struggles. "We Organized" hits especially hard now, but all of the stories are great.
Book cover of the children's ghost story book: The Dark Thirty. Eerie drawing of a Black girl in overalls and a red flannel shirt looking back over her shoulder toward some ghostly figures. Spooky as hell.
February 5, 2025 at 3:52 AM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Reposted the screenshot with alt-text.
Screenshot of a Rolling Stone article's headline, which reads: "Empire In Decline: EVERYONE WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOU FROM THIS FAILED MISERABLY. Trump is president again. It was a top-to-bottom collapse and failure by every major institution that got us here." By Asawin Suebsaeng, January 20, 2025
January 24, 2025 at 2:14 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Last weekend, during some intense combat in D&D, I started crocheting a(nother) dice bag, to keep my hands busy. Today I finished the body of it. Still need to weave in ends, and add a lining, but I'm really pleased with how it turned out! 🧶🎲🐲⚔
A crocheted drawstring bag, with alternating stripes of black and multicolored pastel yarn.
January 23, 2025 at 7:22 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Reposting this chestnut, with alt-text. (Apologies for any typos in the alt-text!)
Text reads: I was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work beer. One of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. So the bartender and I were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says "no. get out." And the dude next to me says, "hey I'm not doing anything, i'm a paying customer." and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, "out. now." and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. And he was dressed in a punk uniform, I noticed. Anyway, I asked what that was about and the bartender was like, "you didn't see his vest but it was all nazi shit. Iron crosses and stuff. You get to recognize them." And I was like, ohok and he continues. "you have to nip it in the bud immediately. These guys come in and it's always a nice, polite one. And you serve them because you don't want to cause a scene. And then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. And that dude is cool too. And then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a Nazi bar now. And it's too late because they're entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. So you have to shut them down." And I was like, 'oh damn.' and he said "yeah, you have to ignore their reasonable arguments because their end goal is to be terrible, awful people." And then he went back to ignoring me. But I haven't forgotten that at all.
January 22, 2025 at 7:35 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Anyway, have a picture of Shadow while I go crochet a dice bag.
Shadow, a small gray tortoiseshell cat, is curled up with a pink pillow and looking right at you. Her eyes are green. She has stolen your seat but she's very cute.
January 20, 2025 at 4:56 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
I can honestly say I don't think I've ever seen people more united about a thing than in the great "Cell Block Tango" refrain in the wake of Wednesday's...event.
This is a 4-panel comic by pizzacakecomic. Panel 1: a woman says, "Today we're going to learn about insurance!" Panel 2: she continues: "Hey, insurance, I am injured and need some of that money I give you in case I get injured!" Panel 3 shows a rich person at a desk, surrounded by piles of money. Hilariously, it's just the first woman now wearing a top hat, monocle, and giant dollar-sign pendant. "No." Panel 4 returns to the first woman: "And that's how insurance works!"
December 6, 2024 at 8:33 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Oh, we'll serve anyone!
An old-fashioned poster for 'Mrs. Lovett's Savory, Sweet, & Succulent World Famous MEAT PIES. Fresh meat - Spices & Herbs - Good Ale. 186 Fleet Street.'
December 6, 2024 at 4:04 AM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
it's not great, gang
not great at all
Me (red hair, glasses, tired) giving a thousand-yard stare
November 6, 2024 at 4:06 PM
ahumblebard.bsky.social
Watch The Void if you like Lovecraftian eldritch horror and some John Carpenter-inspired practical effects, but seriously do not be eating while you do so.
Shot 5: just an expression conveying pure "wtf am I looking at" disbelief and grossed-out.
October 19, 2024 at 3:50 AM