BEDBUG SPREADER
@ahedgewizard.bsky.social
10x scalp transplant survivor. Living life with permanent head lice and intestinal worms, one cup of coffee at a time.
20 years ago a glowing rune rolled out of my pants leg during gym class and imbued me with the power to sense tragedies several seconds before they would happen. until now I’ve never told anyone about it
March 8, 2025 at 5:51 PM
20 years ago a glowing rune rolled out of my pants leg during gym class and imbued me with the power to sense tragedies several seconds before they would happen. until now I’ve never told anyone about it
whats happening in the world is awful. a good pair of Blue Jeans should cost $10 no more no less
February 27, 2025 at 4:30 PM
whats happening in the world is awful. a good pair of Blue Jeans should cost $10 no more no less
vending machine at work is out of honey buns “it’s a fucked up world with fucked up people…”
February 20, 2025 at 3:15 PM
vending machine at work is out of honey buns “it’s a fucked up world with fucked up people…”
Traveler, we need you to buy more beer—and fast. I’ve marked the corner store on your map.
February 17, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Traveler, we need you to buy more beer—and fast. I’ve marked the corner store on your map.
if i got to invent a celebrity coffee drink for Dunkin it would have fresh snow crab cream cheese and root beer and i would cal it The Insult.
February 11, 2025 at 2:14 PM
if i got to invent a celebrity coffee drink for Dunkin it would have fresh snow crab cream cheese and root beer and i would cal it The Insult.
(unreasonably mad voice) Did you hear they’re giving the Orange M&M gel insoles.
February 7, 2025 at 7:17 PM
(unreasonably mad voice) Did you hear they’re giving the Orange M&M gel insoles.
It’s Arlo’s Gotcha Day and you know his silly ass got a pop sicle to celebrate!!!
February 7, 2025 at 2:51 AM
It’s Arlo’s Gotcha Day and you know his silly ass got a pop sicle to celebrate!!!
eating a apple before I go to my doctor appointment in order to study its effects on him.
February 4, 2025 at 7:14 PM
eating a apple before I go to my doctor appointment in order to study its effects on him.
You don’t hear much about boygenius these days. Granted you hear about a lot worse stuff instead.
February 4, 2025 at 6:07 PM
You don’t hear much about boygenius these days. Granted you hear about a lot worse stuff instead.
Reposted by BEDBUG SPREADER
This guy keeps pretending like Frantardo Baldwin isn't real. I don't get the bit, and I think it's a bit tasteless to his victims, but whatever
in my early 20s I invented a new Baldwin brother named Frantardo. it was supposed to be harmless fun. but now someone with his exact name and physical description has been connected to hundreds of terrible crimes all over North America…
February 2, 2025 at 2:15 AM
This guy keeps pretending like Frantardo Baldwin isn't real. I don't get the bit, and I think it's a bit tasteless to his victims, but whatever
in my early 20s I invented a new Baldwin brother named Frantardo. it was supposed to be harmless fun. but now someone with his exact name and physical description has been connected to hundreds of terrible crimes all over North America…
February 1, 2025 at 7:41 PM
in my early 20s I invented a new Baldwin brother named Frantardo. it was supposed to be harmless fun. but now someone with his exact name and physical description has been connected to hundreds of terrible crimes all over North America…
Cats the world over are learning to play fetch while millions of dogs forget. And nobody knows why..
February 1, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Cats the world over are learning to play fetch while millions of dogs forget. And nobody knows why..
Taking preworkout and staying home in order to itch and invent new ways to get upset.
January 31, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Taking preworkout and staying home in order to itch and invent new ways to get upset.
you might have noticed that interstate signs are impossibly large. this is because they were constructed by the Nephilim centuries agao..
January 31, 2025 at 5:57 PM
you might have noticed that interstate signs are impossibly large. this is because they were constructed by the Nephilim centuries agao..
I am normal about navigating the interstices of daily life.
January 28, 2025 at 9:29 PM
I am normal about navigating the interstices of daily life.
for any body who is Pocket Watching I have $137 right now. Does this amuse you? Are you happy?
January 28, 2025 at 6:53 PM
for any body who is Pocket Watching I have $137 right now. Does this amuse you? Are you happy?
browsing Blue Cross Blue Shield web site taking 10 psychic damage per second. however this is the best and most efficient health care system in the world so what i am experiencing is likely a Me Problem
Might go see a doctor this year. If they’re cool with it
January 28, 2025 at 4:49 PM
browsing Blue Cross Blue Shield web site taking 10 psychic damage per second. however this is the best and most efficient health care system in the world so what i am experiencing is likely a Me Problem
Today getting stuck in traffic is one of the main dramatic scenarios. The Ancient Greeks did not predict this
January 28, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Today getting stuck in traffic is one of the main dramatic scenarios. The Ancient Greeks did not predict this
The Toy Freaks
January 28, 2025 at 12:05 AM
The Toy Freaks
Might go see a doctor this year. If they’re cool with it
January 27, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Might go see a doctor this year. If they’re cool with it
[guy who hasn’t read a book since 2015] i have trouble remembering certain words do to Long Covid.
January 27, 2025 at 5:38 PM
[guy who hasn’t read a book since 2015] i have trouble remembering certain words do to Long Covid.
once you stop trying to use it for noble causes the Time Machine has great utility for many pranks and gags.
January 27, 2025 at 2:01 PM
once you stop trying to use it for noble causes the Time Machine has great utility for many pranks and gags.
Don’t really know what a football is. Geometrically I mean. Sort of elusive to me
January 26, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Don’t really know what a football is. Geometrically I mean. Sort of elusive to me
just invented this might call it some shit like “Macaroni”.
January 26, 2025 at 8:26 PM
just invented this might call it some shit like “Macaroni”.
There could be ancient civilizations we don’t know about. But I’m not sure.
January 26, 2025 at 5:38 PM
There could be ancient civilizations we don’t know about. But I’m not sure.