Mitch McConnell Vows To Continue Falling Down Stairs In Face Of Fascist Takeover
theonion.com/mitch-mcconn...

Thou shalt accept that DEI didn't hold your career back -- you're just mid, bro.

I have a complicated relationship with lactose. Every now and then, I convince myself it’s worth the risk for something delicious. Tonight, I rolled the dice. And let me tell you, I hit the jackpot… of regret.