Was perusing the local thrift and suddenly my jaw hit the floor with the same velocity of whatever space debris ended the dinosaurs.

O wow they make a special Rubik's Cube for my enemies now.

Jackpot! 🎰

Someone inexplicably left the 1993 edition of the every-movie-ever-made review in the mailroom and it's the perfect height to prop up my desktop monitor.

'tis a season.

Hot and wise GF embroidered my brand onto a shirt for Xmas.

Treasure hunting.

Hey I didn't realize the—

—Warriors were in town! 📣📢🎺

PSA: if you still have your 2013 'The Following' starting Kevin Bacon stain remover pen it doesn't work anymore

—and nobody is talking about it!

Need a pinned Tweet.