“It was at that moment my darkest secret was exposed and I am, in fact, a Coldplay fan.”
#andybyron #astronomer #coldplay #littlebritain
#andybyron #astronomer #coldplay #littlebritain
July 18, 2025 at 10:49 AM
“It was at that moment my darkest secret was exposed and I am, in fact, a Coldplay fan.”
#andybyron #astronomer #coldplay #littlebritain
#andybyron #astronomer #coldplay #littlebritain
Everyone talking like Djokovic should be retired already but if he did that how would we get to enjoy watching all of his old gamesmanship tricks (fake injuries, sobbing) failing to work as he gets battered off the court by younger players? #wimbledon
July 11, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Everyone talking like Djokovic should be retired already but if he did that how would we get to enjoy watching all of his old gamesmanship tricks (fake injuries, sobbing) failing to work as he gets battered off the court by younger players? #wimbledon
Djokovic has already done the injury routine, when can we expect the sobbing in the chair at the changeover?
#wimbledon
#wimbledon
July 11, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Djokovic has already done the injury routine, when can we expect the sobbing in the chair at the changeover?
#wimbledon
#wimbledon
When you buy a whoopee cushion.
June 30, 2025 at 7:12 PM
When you buy a whoopee cushion.
This is not a wedding. This is not an event of any sort. This is the algorithm being fed by visitors to a garden in #Varenna. Nothing is enjoyed. It is framed, packaged, and published for likes. By young women in full hair and make-up in 30C heat. And there were hundreds of them. #socialprisoners
June 27, 2025 at 4:22 PM
This is not a wedding. This is not an event of any sort. This is the algorithm being fed by visitors to a garden in #Varenna. Nothing is enjoyed. It is framed, packaged, and published for likes. By young women in full hair and make-up in 30C heat. And there were hundreds of them. #socialprisoners
Reposted by Accidental Stuntman
"What does the money machine eat? It eats youth, spontaneity, life, beauty, and, above all, it eats creativity. It eats quality and sh*ts quantity."
- William S. Burroughs
- William S. Burroughs
June 3, 2025 at 8:18 AM
"What does the money machine eat? It eats youth, spontaneity, life, beauty, and, above all, it eats creativity. It eats quality and sh*ts quantity."
- William S. Burroughs
- William S. Burroughs
I love all the people commenting on Brewtwat James Watt’s LinkedIn specifically so he responds.
As if all the responses aren’t written by some minimum wage minion who’s terrified of him but desperately needs the job.
As if all the responses aren’t written by some minimum wage minion who’s terrified of him but desperately needs the job.
May 29, 2025 at 9:29 PM
I love all the people commenting on Brewtwat James Watt’s LinkedIn specifically so he responds.
As if all the responses aren’t written by some minimum wage minion who’s terrified of him but desperately needs the job.
As if all the responses aren’t written by some minimum wage minion who’s terrified of him but desperately needs the job.
Anyone know where I can get an unsmashed burger in London?
Seems impossible.
Seems impossible.
May 24, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Anyone know where I can get an unsmashed burger in London?
Seems impossible.
Seems impossible.
Your reminder that fishing accounts for 0.03% of the UK’s GDP.
Screwing 99.97% of a country’s GDP to placate baying idiots who’ve never been in a trawler in their life is like setting fire to your house because the kitchen is untidy.
Screwing 99.97% of a country’s GDP to placate baying idiots who’ve never been in a trawler in their life is like setting fire to your house because the kitchen is untidy.
May 19, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Your reminder that fishing accounts for 0.03% of the UK’s GDP.
Screwing 99.97% of a country’s GDP to placate baying idiots who’ve never been in a trawler in their life is like setting fire to your house because the kitchen is untidy.
Screwing 99.97% of a country’s GDP to placate baying idiots who’ve never been in a trawler in their life is like setting fire to your house because the kitchen is untidy.
May 19, 2025 at 8:59 AM
Just a reminder that we are net importers of fish and our entire fishing industry is worth around £1.1 billion.
Our scrap metal industry is worth £8.3 billion.
Our sex toy industry is worth more than fishing.
Fishing angst is territorial dog whistling for dimwits.
#brexit #eutradedeal
Our scrap metal industry is worth £8.3 billion.
Our sex toy industry is worth more than fishing.
Fishing angst is territorial dog whistling for dimwits.
#brexit #eutradedeal
May 19, 2025 at 8:53 AM
Just a reminder that we are net importers of fish and our entire fishing industry is worth around £1.1 billion.
Our scrap metal industry is worth £8.3 billion.
Our sex toy industry is worth more than fishing.
Fishing angst is territorial dog whistling for dimwits.
#brexit #eutradedeal
Our scrap metal industry is worth £8.3 billion.
Our sex toy industry is worth more than fishing.
Fishing angst is territorial dog whistling for dimwits.
#brexit #eutradedeal
LinkedIn reducing - from five to three - the number of people I can see who viewed my profile as a means of getting me to pay them £60 to see more are missing one critical factor:
I don’t give a fuck.
#linkedin
I don’t give a fuck.
May 15, 2025 at 6:17 PM
LinkedIn reducing - from five to three - the number of people I can see who viewed my profile as a means of getting me to pay them £60 to see more are missing one critical factor:
I don’t give a fuck.
#linkedin
I don’t give a fuck.
I’m no scientician but hearing about all the elite runners running with pacemakers tells me all I need to know about their hearts, as I sit here eating crisps. #londonmarathon
April 27, 2025 at 9:19 AM
I’m no scientician but hearing about all the elite runners running with pacemakers tells me all I need to know about their hearts, as I sit here eating crisps. #londonmarathon
I love that the World Coughing Championships is held every year at The Crucible at the same time as the World Snooker Championships. #wst #worldsnooker #worldsnookerchampionships
April 26, 2025 at 2:36 PM
I love that the World Coughing Championships is held every year at The Crucible at the same time as the World Snooker Championships. #wst #worldsnooker #worldsnookerchampionships
Poor Liam Lawson. Friend-zoned after two dates.
Horner is on the record saying the car is utterly optimised for Max.
Albon said the car got progressively harder to set up the more they developed it for Max.
Red Bull are a one car team.
#liamlawson #redbull
Horner is on the record saying the car is utterly optimised for Max.
Albon said the car got progressively harder to set up the more they developed it for Max.
Red Bull are a one car team.
#liamlawson #redbull
March 27, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Poor Liam Lawson. Friend-zoned after two dates.
Horner is on the record saying the car is utterly optimised for Max.
Albon said the car got progressively harder to set up the more they developed it for Max.
Red Bull are a one car team.
#liamlawson #redbull
Horner is on the record saying the car is utterly optimised for Max.
Albon said the car got progressively harder to set up the more they developed it for Max.
Red Bull are a one car team.
#liamlawson #redbull
Living definitely is easier with eyes closed.
March 25, 2025 at 9:55 AM
Living definitely is easier with eyes closed.
Escalator sign is basically a starter’s guide to hand jobs.
March 9, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Escalator sign is basically a starter’s guide to hand jobs.
How come everyone on LinkedIn is energized?
February 25, 2025 at 10:22 PM
How come everyone on LinkedIn is energized?
Remember when some people said “the world doesn’t need billionaires” and these other people went “oh, but they create wealth” and now they’re all on Facebook crying about how they got laid off by email.
February 25, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Remember when some people said “the world doesn’t need billionaires” and these other people went “oh, but they create wealth” and now they’re all on Facebook crying about how they got laid off by email.
Coal Tit just hanging out in my garden.
February 24, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Coal Tit just hanging out in my garden.
I’m sure this made sense to someone in Coppa Club’s marketing department but I’m not sure how “with the sound up to support England” makes any sense in the real world.
#grammarfail
#grammarfail
February 23, 2025 at 1:11 PM
I’m sure this made sense to someone in Coppa Club’s marketing department but I’m not sure how “with the sound up to support England” makes any sense in the real world.
#grammarfail
#grammarfail
The next James Bond movie will be a cheap Chinese made clone of the original Dr No that will set fire to your house while you sleep.
#jamesbond #amazon
#jamesbond #amazon
February 21, 2025 at 2:31 PM
The next James Bond movie will be a cheap Chinese made clone of the original Dr No that will set fire to your house while you sleep.
#jamesbond #amazon
#jamesbond #amazon
I wrote a joke in the style of comedy and guitar god @mrdavehill.bsky.social :
I used to be an over-sharer but I had to stop because it always gave me a massive erection.
I used to be an over-sharer but I had to stop because it always gave me a massive erection.
February 21, 2025 at 11:15 AM
I wrote a joke in the style of comedy and guitar god @mrdavehill.bsky.social :
I used to be an over-sharer but I had to stop because it always gave me a massive erection.
I used to be an over-sharer but I had to stop because it always gave me a massive erection.
I’m a middle-aged man who’s just done his first cardio session in 15 years.
Can I expect my six pack to appear before or after lunch time?
Thanks #fitness people.
Can I expect my six pack to appear before or after lunch time?
Thanks #fitness people.
February 19, 2025 at 10:01 AM
I’m a middle-aged man who’s just done his first cardio session in 15 years.
Can I expect my six pack to appear before or after lunch time?
Thanks #fitness people.
Can I expect my six pack to appear before or after lunch time?
Thanks #fitness people.