Ryan Kallberg
@absinthetics.bsky.social
here exclusively to post bad takes on DAS BOOT
formerly: The Onion, the reality TV industry, the poker tables, the bottom of a black hole
formerly: The Onion, the reality TV industry, the poker tables, the bottom of a black hole
*facepalms in embarrassed white person*
November 12, 2025 at 2:53 AM
*facepalms in embarrassed white person*
ok but now I wanna
November 10, 2025 at 10:25 PM
ok but now I wanna
A night on the town for some classical theatre.
October 26, 2025 at 1:40 AM
A night on the town for some classical theatre.
Post a movie you like with a terrible Rotten Tomatoes score
September 17, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Post a movie you like with a terrible Rotten Tomatoes score
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
September 2, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
Never felt more attacked by a popup notification
May 11, 2025 at 7:09 AM
Never felt more attacked by a popup notification
The cookie thinks I’m gonna get deported.
May 6, 2025 at 2:07 AM
The cookie thinks I’m gonna get deported.
Yeah, the kid’s a writer.
January 29, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Yeah, the kid’s a writer.
Betrayal at House on the Hill. I was a priest who used kids as monster-bait while I cleaned up supernatural entities. Somehow we won.
December 26, 2024 at 3:32 AM
Betrayal at House on the Hill. I was a priest who used kids as monster-bait while I cleaned up supernatural entities. Somehow we won.
Post a PERFECT album from the 90s that isn’t Nirvana or Pearl Jam or The Breeders or Soul Coughing or They Might Be Giants:
December 9, 2024 at 6:46 AM
Post a PERFECT album from the 90s that isn’t Nirvana or Pearl Jam or The Breeders or Soul Coughing or They Might Be Giants:
I’ve never tried cocaine because I know what happens when you put me in easy reach of a bag of these
December 7, 2024 at 8:38 AM
I’ve never tried cocaine because I know what happens when you put me in easy reach of a bag of these
Even after years of inactivity, my 360 still knows how to taunt me.
February 20, 2024 at 4:55 AM
Even after years of inactivity, my 360 still knows how to taunt me.
Someone’s child is about to experience the best jump scare in the history of cinema for the first time.
January 28, 2024 at 2:44 AM
Someone’s child is about to experience the best jump scare in the history of cinema for the first time.
Best Buy out there predicting my imminent demise.
January 15, 2024 at 7:22 PM
Best Buy out there predicting my imminent demise.
New glasses. Old face.
November 16, 2023 at 3:48 AM
New glasses. Old face.
apparently the Duolingo owl had a stroke
October 19, 2023 at 4:15 AM
apparently the Duolingo owl had a stroke
When tasty things are about to happen.
August 9, 2023 at 12:26 AM
When tasty things are about to happen.