My sister is asleep...i feel sorry for her waking up and seeing my state. I feel sorry for the man who's still waiting for me. I can't do it anymore...I'm sorry...I'm sorry

I relapsed...

But for now...it feels so heavy...I feel so hurt

God I feel so guilty...if I live by tomorrow I'll just delete this mess of a post

I'm so tired. I just...I just want it to be over...I'm sorry I could not keep my promise of being strong.

I don't know why I am still holding on for a tomorrow that was never meant for me. On a promise that my life would be better. To be called a blessing when every voice in my head screams that I am nothing but a curse

He hasn't even met me...so he shouldn't have grown attached too much yet, right? He'll move on when I'm dead.My parents have each other, they'll be fine. My sister has her friends...she'll be fine.My two bestfriends have each other for comfort.They'll be fine. They'll just have to get over the grief

I'm not sure if I can live another day like this. Thinking I am not good enough. I feel sorry for the two men in my life who told me they love me. My father and my boyfriend. They would be devastated by this loss...but I don't see another tomorrow for me

There are several reasons on why I plan to take away my life. The biggest one is the trauma my own mother gave me. To be raised as a perfectionist and now I can't handle failure. The love I know is violent. There maybe no physical scars on the abuse I had as a child, but there sure are mental ones

I can't live like this, I can't live like I am a ghost of a person. I have told her that I could not bear another betrayal, and I really can't.

I have been given everything, everything so I can stay happy, but all I felt was being a bird in a cage. Everytime I try to love it is used against me. I don't even know how to feel at times without people telling me how to.

I could not be strong for you, or anyone else. I can't even be strong for me. So the moment I am left all alone, may god have mercy on my soul and allow me to wake up once more.

Perhaps we are similar in that aspect, my darling? Being to prideful to admit that we are hurting. Was it a learned trait? Because this was all I've ever known.

All I've ever known