Finding out he blew Bill Clinton fractured the timeline. Realities we never thought possible are seeping in.

I tried that, but I just couldn’t remember what the initial bit was about and there was no way I was going to arrive at “socks” any time soon.

That’s exactly why I was looking for it. I run a (tiny) satire site and was looking for this article as an example of how funny it can be to break/play around with the standard formula that most articles follow. It’s honestly unusual for the Onion, at least to my memory. Works so well though.

My man

Notice that centrists playing the respectability game feel especially compelled to defend a rat-fuck like Kirk. A man who thinks you should be allowed to beat your wife. Grow a fucking spine, and look around you.

This looks like something the chop suey sandwich threw up

We almost had MAXIMUM GOOFINESS right at the end. What could have been.

In retrospect it may have been presumptive to assume that DDP would ever have enough space to throw a spinning backfist that misses by three feet

DDP throws a spinning elbow, misses by a full three feet, trips and falls, Khamzat dives on top and is instantly upkick ko’d

I’ve not seen the movie, does the conversation include some variation of “If you do this you will be paid an obscene amount of money”

This would be like walking into a room full of engineers at Ferrari and saying “remember to put tires on the cars.”

Yeah this is just an obviously abhorrent thing to do with your platform and you should be ashamed of it. You are not “interviewing” anyone. You are talking to a program that has no actual connection whatsoever to the dead person it’s impersonating. Insane you would even consider this.

I think we’re talking about the same problem here. My point is that we can’t realistically expect those people to become engaged unless we show them something that inspires them. I wish they cared on their own, but its the job of a political movement to get people involved who might not be otherwise

I really don’t understand why the stance “we should look at what we’ve done wrong and do better” has you this worked up. It feels like you are taking my criticism of the extremely powerful Democratic leadership as a personal attack, when I don’t know enough about you to even want to insult you.

We HAVE those kinds of leaders stepping up, the issue is that establishment dems go way out of their way to hinder them. If anyone has been subjected to a purity test, it’s Mamdani being asked about his stance on Israel in every single interview. That is a Democrat purity test.

We cannot get out of a situation like this unless we are willing to look inward and honestly evaluate what has gone wrong. People are hungry for fundamental change and any political movement that refuses to acknowledge this is going to keep losing.

In order to “unite” you need a vision for the country that people are inspired to unite around. Democrats are not providing that, and they are spending their time attacking people like Mamdani who are. “Trump Bad” is not an energizing enough message, and Dems have been stuck there for years now.

None of the horrible things republicans are doing will ever be stopped without a functional, empowered opposition party. Dems need to get their house in order if they ever want a chance at fixing any of this. All of this is, in the end, about stopping right wing extremism and fascism.