4LeifClover
@4leifclover.bsky.social
Discover the story behind the 🍀 at 4LeifClover.com
Let’s grow together! Join the Haven M;INDS community: https://discord.gg/MdWKAgvsKU
Let’s grow together! Join the Haven M;INDS community: https://discord.gg/MdWKAgvsKU
Pinned
4LeifClover
@4leifclover.bsky.social
· Dec 15
Hi there!
I’m Leif, aka 4LeifClover:
creator and proud member of havenminds.org,
developer and curator of TLATA.net,
and passionate mental health advocate fueled by the fire to spark soul-stirring ripples of genuine connection with everyone I encounter.
🍀
I’m Leif, aka 4LeifClover:
creator and proud member of havenminds.org,
developer and curator of TLATA.net,
and passionate mental health advocate fueled by the fire to spark soul-stirring ripples of genuine connection with everyone I encounter.
🍀
Yearly recaps always assume there was a version worth replaying.
But some years are better treated like drafts you don’t reopen.
“I made it” is the only metric that matters right now.
But some years are better treated like drafts you don’t reopen.
“I made it” is the only metric that matters right now.
December 31, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Yearly recaps always assume there was a version worth replaying.
But some years are better treated like drafts you don’t reopen.
“I made it” is the only metric that matters right now.
But some years are better treated like drafts you don’t reopen.
“I made it” is the only metric that matters right now.
After is when everything you postponed comes due.
The feelings, the fatigue, the weight you couldn’t afford to feel yet.
No wonder it hits all at once.
The feelings, the fatigue, the weight you couldn’t afford to feel yet.
No wonder it hits all at once.
December 30, 2025 at 1:21 PM
After is when everything you postponed comes due.
The feelings, the fatigue, the weight you couldn’t afford to feel yet.
No wonder it hits all at once.
The feelings, the fatigue, the weight you couldn’t afford to feel yet.
No wonder it hits all at once.
Survival doesn’t always come with fireworks.
It usually just comes with another morning.
So if all you see is more road, pace yourself by the breath, not the calendar.
It usually just comes with another morning.
So if all you see is more road, pace yourself by the breath, not the calendar.
December 29, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Survival doesn’t always come with fireworks.
It usually just comes with another morning.
So if all you see is more road, pace yourself by the breath, not the calendar.
It usually just comes with another morning.
So if all you see is more road, pace yourself by the breath, not the calendar.
There’s a difference between choosing strength and being cornered into it.
Sure from the outside, those two things look identical.
That time in the fire, the moments that built that resilience…we’d give them back in a heartbeat if it meant never needing to survive them at all.
Sure from the outside, those two things look identical.
That time in the fire, the moments that built that resilience…we’d give them back in a heartbeat if it meant never needing to survive them at all.
December 15, 2025 at 4:42 PM
There’s a difference between choosing strength and being cornered into it.
Sure from the outside, those two things look identical.
That time in the fire, the moments that built that resilience…we’d give them back in a heartbeat if it meant never needing to survive them at all.
Sure from the outside, those two things look identical.
That time in the fire, the moments that built that resilience…we’d give them back in a heartbeat if it meant never needing to survive them at all.
The calculus behind a simple greeting gets complicated fast.
Truth, tolerance, honesty, dissociation, personal bandwidth…all bottlenecking at once.
So I default to the lowest-friction answer: “Oh… you know…”
Truth, tolerance, honesty, dissociation, personal bandwidth…all bottlenecking at once.
So I default to the lowest-friction answer: “Oh… you know…”
December 11, 2025 at 12:35 PM
The calculus behind a simple greeting gets complicated fast.
Truth, tolerance, honesty, dissociation, personal bandwidth…all bottlenecking at once.
So I default to the lowest-friction answer: “Oh… you know…”
Truth, tolerance, honesty, dissociation, personal bandwidth…all bottlenecking at once.
So I default to the lowest-friction answer: “Oh… you know…”
Most of the work never makes it to the surface.
People see quiet; they don’t see the cost of keeping the noise inside from breaking through.
If anything, the stillness is the part that takes the most out of me.
People see quiet; they don’t see the cost of keeping the noise inside from breaking through.
If anything, the stillness is the part that takes the most out of me.
December 10, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Most of the work never makes it to the surface.
People see quiet; they don’t see the cost of keeping the noise inside from breaking through.
If anything, the stillness is the part that takes the most out of me.
People see quiet; they don’t see the cost of keeping the noise inside from breaking through.
If anything, the stillness is the part that takes the most out of me.
Depression turns breathing into effort and effort into explanation.
And trying to justify the heaviness becomes its own kind of heaviness.
There’s a loneliness in carrying something real that looks invisible from the outside.
And trying to justify the heaviness becomes its own kind of heaviness.
There’s a loneliness in carrying something real that looks invisible from the outside.
December 9, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Depression turns breathing into effort and effort into explanation.
And trying to justify the heaviness becomes its own kind of heaviness.
There’s a loneliness in carrying something real that looks invisible from the outside.
And trying to justify the heaviness becomes its own kind of heaviness.
There’s a loneliness in carrying something real that looks invisible from the outside.
The mind only spirals this hard when something matters.
We forget that sensitivity isn’t a flaw: it’s evidence of connection.
Feeling deeply just means you’re still in the world, not numb to it.
We forget that sensitivity isn’t a flaw: it’s evidence of connection.
Feeling deeply just means you’re still in the world, not numb to it.
December 8, 2025 at 1:25 PM
The mind only spirals this hard when something matters.
We forget that sensitivity isn’t a flaw: it’s evidence of connection.
Feeling deeply just means you’re still in the world, not numb to it.
We forget that sensitivity isn’t a flaw: it’s evidence of connection.
Feeling deeply just means you’re still in the world, not numb to it.
There’s a quiet mourning in realizing how much of your doubt was inherited.
Turns out not every “I can’t” belongs to me.
Turns out not every “I can’t” belongs to me.
December 3, 2025 at 1:37 PM
There’s a quiet mourning in realizing how much of your doubt was inherited.
Turns out not every “I can’t” belongs to me.
Turns out not every “I can’t” belongs to me.
The mind is great at convincing you you’re the exception to the rule.
That everyone else belongs and somehow you slipped through the cracks.
It’s sad how believable a lie becomes when you’ve heard it all your life.
That everyone else belongs and somehow you slipped through the cracks.
It’s sad how believable a lie becomes when you’ve heard it all your life.
December 2, 2025 at 1:22 PM
The mind is great at convincing you you’re the exception to the rule.
That everyone else belongs and somehow you slipped through the cracks.
It’s sad how believable a lie becomes when you’ve heard it all your life.
That everyone else belongs and somehow you slipped through the cracks.
It’s sad how believable a lie becomes when you’ve heard it all your life.
There’s a point where fading out stops feeling dramatic and just feels normal.
And once it becomes normal, it’s hard to see how much of you has gone missing.
I’m finally recognizing the difference between being quiet and being gone.
And once it becomes normal, it’s hard to see how much of you has gone missing.
I’m finally recognizing the difference between being quiet and being gone.
December 1, 2025 at 3:16 PM
There’s a point where fading out stops feeling dramatic and just feels normal.
And once it becomes normal, it’s hard to see how much of you has gone missing.
I’m finally recognizing the difference between being quiet and being gone.
And once it becomes normal, it’s hard to see how much of you has gone missing.
I’m finally recognizing the difference between being quiet and being gone.
The painful thing about receiving kindness is how unfamiliar it still feels.
That moment of hesitation wasn’t doubt in them; it was me trying to unlearn the doubt in myself.
That moment of hesitation wasn’t doubt in them; it was me trying to unlearn the doubt in myself.
November 25, 2025 at 1:53 PM
The painful thing about receiving kindness is how unfamiliar it still feels.
That moment of hesitation wasn’t doubt in them; it was me trying to unlearn the doubt in myself.
That moment of hesitation wasn’t doubt in them; it was me trying to unlearn the doubt in myself.
Blame taught me how to disappear, but it never taught me how to come back.
Now I’m relearning myself in small, clumsy ways.
And every time I don’t apologize for breathing, I reclaim a little more of who I was supposed to be.
Now I’m relearning myself in small, clumsy ways.
And every time I don’t apologize for breathing, I reclaim a little more of who I was supposed to be.
November 24, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Blame taught me how to disappear, but it never taught me how to come back.
Now I’m relearning myself in small, clumsy ways.
And every time I don’t apologize for breathing, I reclaim a little more of who I was supposed to be.
Now I’m relearning myself in small, clumsy ways.
And every time I don’t apologize for breathing, I reclaim a little more of who I was supposed to be.
It’s strange how “doing everything right” still doesn’t guarantee you get to feel human that day.
The world loves checklists…but some days the emptiness just shows up anyway.
The world loves checklists…but some days the emptiness just shows up anyway.
November 21, 2025 at 1:14 PM
It’s strange how “doing everything right” still doesn’t guarantee you get to feel human that day.
The world loves checklists…but some days the emptiness just shows up anyway.
The world loves checklists…but some days the emptiness just shows up anyway.
There’s a difference between empty space and empty feeling.
Nothing dramatic. Nothing cinematic.
Just a that drop in your chest that makes you feel completely cut off from the world.
You don’t have to justify that kind of shift.
It’s real. And it hits harder than people realize.
Nothing dramatic. Nothing cinematic.
Just a that drop in your chest that makes you feel completely cut off from the world.
You don’t have to justify that kind of shift.
It’s real. And it hits harder than people realize.
November 20, 2025 at 2:00 PM
There’s a difference between empty space and empty feeling.
Nothing dramatic. Nothing cinematic.
Just a that drop in your chest that makes you feel completely cut off from the world.
You don’t have to justify that kind of shift.
It’s real. And it hits harder than people realize.
Nothing dramatic. Nothing cinematic.
Just a that drop in your chest that makes you feel completely cut off from the world.
You don’t have to justify that kind of shift.
It’s real. And it hits harder than people realize.
It’s strange how the body stays in the room long after the mind has slipped out the side door.
You’re upright, you’re social, you’re technically “fine”…but everything inside you is whispering, “I don’t belong here.”
You’re upright, you’re social, you’re technically “fine”…but everything inside you is whispering, “I don’t belong here.”
November 19, 2025 at 2:40 PM
It’s strange how the body stays in the room long after the mind has slipped out the side door.
You’re upright, you’re social, you’re technically “fine”…but everything inside you is whispering, “I don’t belong here.”
You’re upright, you’re social, you’re technically “fine”…but everything inside you is whispering, “I don’t belong here.”
Depression teaches you to brace for impact even when nothing’s falling.
You stop trusting peace because you’ve learned they all have expiration dates.
Healing starts by not flinching at the good moments, letting yourself feel them, even if they don’t last forever.
Because neither does the fall.
You stop trusting peace because you’ve learned they all have expiration dates.
Healing starts by not flinching at the good moments, letting yourself feel them, even if they don’t last forever.
Because neither does the fall.
November 11, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Depression teaches you to brace for impact even when nothing’s falling.
You stop trusting peace because you’ve learned they all have expiration dates.
Healing starts by not flinching at the good moments, letting yourself feel them, even if they don’t last forever.
Because neither does the fall.
You stop trusting peace because you’ve learned they all have expiration dates.
Healing starts by not flinching at the good moments, letting yourself feel them, even if they don’t last forever.
Because neither does the fall.
Depression turns survival into performance.
You don’t get credit for keeping up; you just reset the timer until you have to prove it again.
And that’s what people don’t see: it’s not laziness, it’s exhaustion from living in a loop that feels inescapable.
You don’t get credit for keeping up; you just reset the timer until you have to prove it again.
And that’s what people don’t see: it’s not laziness, it’s exhaustion from living in a loop that feels inescapable.
November 10, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Depression turns survival into performance.
You don’t get credit for keeping up; you just reset the timer until you have to prove it again.
And that’s what people don’t see: it’s not laziness, it’s exhaustion from living in a loop that feels inescapable.
You don’t get credit for keeping up; you just reset the timer until you have to prove it again.
And that’s what people don’t see: it’s not laziness, it’s exhaustion from living in a loop that feels inescapable.
Perfectionism doesn’t push you to do better.
It convinces you nothing you do is ever enough.
Learning to soften that voice isn’t lowering your standards.
It’s remembering you were never supposed to earn your worth.
It convinces you nothing you do is ever enough.
Learning to soften that voice isn’t lowering your standards.
It’s remembering you were never supposed to earn your worth.
November 6, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Perfectionism doesn’t push you to do better.
It convinces you nothing you do is ever enough.
Learning to soften that voice isn’t lowering your standards.
It’s remembering you were never supposed to earn your worth.
It convinces you nothing you do is ever enough.
Learning to soften that voice isn’t lowering your standards.
It’s remembering you were never supposed to earn your worth.
Neglect rarely shouts. It’s a thousand small silences slowly teaching you you’re an afterthought.
You don’t remember when you learned you didn’t matter, just that you started living like it.
Unlearning neglect isn’t about becoming louder.
It’s about learning your presence was never the problem.
You don’t remember when you learned you didn’t matter, just that you started living like it.
Unlearning neglect isn’t about becoming louder.
It’s about learning your presence was never the problem.
November 5, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Neglect rarely shouts. It’s a thousand small silences slowly teaching you you’re an afterthought.
You don’t remember when you learned you didn’t matter, just that you started living like it.
Unlearning neglect isn’t about becoming louder.
It’s about learning your presence was never the problem.
You don’t remember when you learned you didn’t matter, just that you started living like it.
Unlearning neglect isn’t about becoming louder.
It’s about learning your presence was never the problem.
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t answering the call. It’s believing someone truly wanted you to.
Years of overthinking turn every ring into proof you’re “too much.”
But the right people won’t hang up when you hesitate.
They’ll stay on the line.
Years of overthinking turn every ring into proof you’re “too much.”
But the right people won’t hang up when you hesitate.
They’ll stay on the line.
November 4, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t answering the call. It’s believing someone truly wanted you to.
Years of overthinking turn every ring into proof you’re “too much.”
But the right people won’t hang up when you hesitate.
They’ll stay on the line.
Years of overthinking turn every ring into proof you’re “too much.”
But the right people won’t hang up when you hesitate.
They’ll stay on the line.
The people who are meant for you won’t keep score of your quirks or your quiets.
They’ll meet you in the middle of your overthinking, hold space for your too-much, and remind you that you don’t have to shrink.
You’ve just spent too long around people who made you apologize for needing kindness.
They’ll meet you in the middle of your overthinking, hold space for your too-much, and remind you that you don’t have to shrink.
You’ve just spent too long around people who made you apologize for needing kindness.
November 3, 2025 at 3:28 PM
The people who are meant for you won’t keep score of your quirks or your quiets.
They’ll meet you in the middle of your overthinking, hold space for your too-much, and remind you that you don’t have to shrink.
You’ve just spent too long around people who made you apologize for needing kindness.
They’ll meet you in the middle of your overthinking, hold space for your too-much, and remind you that you don’t have to shrink.
You’ve just spent too long around people who made you apologize for needing kindness.
You didn’t fail for walking away.
You reached your limit, the one you’ve ignored too many times before.
Choosing yourself doesn’t make you selfish.
It means you finally stopped abandoning yourself to make others comfortable.
You reached your limit, the one you’ve ignored too many times before.
Choosing yourself doesn’t make you selfish.
It means you finally stopped abandoning yourself to make others comfortable.
October 31, 2025 at 3:06 PM
You didn’t fail for walking away.
You reached your limit, the one you’ve ignored too many times before.
Choosing yourself doesn’t make you selfish.
It means you finally stopped abandoning yourself to make others comfortable.
You reached your limit, the one you’ve ignored too many times before.
Choosing yourself doesn’t make you selfish.
It means you finally stopped abandoning yourself to make others comfortable.
Some days, showing up feels like gambling with your own energy, like you don’t know which version of yourself will walk through the door.
But staying home doesn’t make you weak.
It just means you listened to your limits, even if it left you feeling lonely.
But staying home doesn’t make you weak.
It just means you listened to your limits, even if it left you feeling lonely.
October 30, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Some days, showing up feels like gambling with your own energy, like you don’t know which version of yourself will walk through the door.
But staying home doesn’t make you weak.
It just means you listened to your limits, even if it left you feeling lonely.
But staying home doesn’t make you weak.
It just means you listened to your limits, even if it left you feeling lonely.
Needing help doesn’t make you heavy.
It makes you human.
And the right people won’t see your message as a weight.
They’ll see it as a hand reaching out, and they’ll reach back.
It makes you human.
And the right people won’t see your message as a weight.
They’ll see it as a hand reaching out, and they’ll reach back.
October 29, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Needing help doesn’t make you heavy.
It makes you human.
And the right people won’t see your message as a weight.
They’ll see it as a hand reaching out, and they’ll reach back.
It makes you human.
And the right people won’t see your message as a weight.
They’ll see it as a hand reaching out, and they’ll reach back.