It goes into that weird thing that genuine appreciation is somehow considered less intellectual than criticism but everybody is getting trained to be such a cynical unfeeling asshole nowadays that I find the smartest people often are the “hell yeah cool song/drawing/story/video” people

or I know I will just come to hate it and myself for being the way I am..

even with decade long friends I realise the distance between us and see where I don't belong.

I have always felt like an alien, but I want to be human. I want to experience connection I want to feel like humans and I know I do! I am human after all! I wouldn't be feeling this way otherwise and yet, I am still an alien.. what defines humanity, how can I mimic it, become truly human

I don't like seeing these types of sentiments, it feels myopic and like an inability to see beyond your self.
but I am quite lonely, I've tried for many years to remedy it, but to no avail.

I'd only come to realise my existence within the past couple of years, that I exist as a being, that these steps leave a depression on the ground, but I exist only physically and on paper but not in the mind of others.