Zak Toscani
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zaktoscani.bsky.social
Zak Toscani
@zaktoscani.bsky.social
Standup Comedian
I want a human made painting of a kfc / Taco Bell combo with the Lincoln quote about a house divided cannot stand
December 31, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Being able to sleep on any plane is my superpower, it’s coach level time travel
December 26, 2025 at 10:27 PM
PORTLAND! Only 15 tickets left for the late show - escape your family, bring some booze, and have some laughs
December 24, 2025 at 6:54 PM
December 6, 2025 at 8:51 PM
1 ticket left for the early show, plenty left for the late show - www.zaktoscani.com/public-events
December 4, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Let me make myself crystal clear
December 2, 2025 at 5:19 PM
My hell is not knowing how to roller skate good but constantly hearing songs and thinking “I bet this would be fun as hell to glide to”

Glide is my best guess as to insider terminology
December 1, 2025 at 10:42 PM
A group of pickleballers is known as a Lame.
December 1, 2025 at 9:24 AM
hearing folks sprinting through the airport yelling “sorry! Our flight boards in 10min” like that doesn’t mean you got 45min to get there
November 25, 2025 at 9:53 PM
November 24, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Reposted by Zak Toscani
Early show is sold out but still tickets to the late show at Commonwealth Comedy Club - Cincinnati / Northern KY
November 20, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Early show is sold out but still tickets to the late show at Commonwealth Comedy Club - Cincinnati / Northern KY
November 20, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Turkeys really get victim blamed during Thanksgiving. We eat the motherfucker and then blame being tired on a chemical in their meat. Instead of the fact that we just ate a plate that’s just a meat +12
November 19, 2025 at 10:25 PM
The truth about Mission Trips
November 18, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Please tell me there’s a white jazz guy named Anglo Sax’in
November 14, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Reposted by Zak Toscani
A little joke about a coffee shop order gone wrong
November 13, 2025 at 5:54 PM
I need a life oversight committee bs last night I paired some leftover Chinese food with Synder’s of Hanover pretzels
November 13, 2025 at 9:14 PM
A little joke about a coffee shop order gone wrong
November 13, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Random House has rejected my book proposal of an agnostic retelling of Judy Blume’s fantastic novel retitled as “To Whom It May Concern, It’s Me, Margaret”

And by Random House, I mean I just knocked on an absolute strangers door and pitched it
November 13, 2025 at 12:01 AM
November 12, 2025 at 1:34 AM
It’s gonna be a fucking blast - you won’t wanna miss it
November 11, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Reposted by Zak Toscani
My first job
November 10, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Frozen pizzas are blank canvases you should use to paint your masterpiece
November 10, 2025 at 7:25 PM
My first job
November 10, 2025 at 1:43 AM
For as dramatic as coconuts are you’d really expect them to taste better
November 7, 2025 at 11:18 PM