Welcome to the guest room! Lights are set to 25% and they turn off randomly all day/night, I set the tv pop on & off a few times, and the volume will change randomly on the dot so it BEEPs a ton
October 29, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Welcome to the guest room! Lights are set to 25% and they turn off randomly all day/night, I set the tv pop on & off a few times, and the volume will change randomly on the dot so it BEEPs a ton
I’m trying so hard to be a good person and it’s not easy when my pissbucket goblin sister is having DoorDash delivered to my door by my meth head ex boyfriend WHILE IM COOKING HER FUCKING DINNER 😩 😩 😩
October 12, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I’m trying so hard to be a good person and it’s not easy when my pissbucket goblin sister is having DoorDash delivered to my door by my meth head ex boyfriend WHILE IM COOKING HER FUCKING DINNER 😩 😩 😩
My best friend blocked me because I hate Airbnb, which is definitively *not* a hill I thought I’d die on as a northern Californian - don’t we all hate Airbnb??
October 3, 2025 at 3:29 PM
My best friend blocked me because I hate Airbnb, which is definitively *not* a hill I thought I’d die on as a northern Californian - don’t we all hate Airbnb??
Had a dream my sister honestly apologized to me & it was so heartfelt / emotional - woke from that nightmare in a cold Aquarian sweat. Don’t talk to me about feelings that are ABOUT ME gross what’s wrong with you
September 28, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Had a dream my sister honestly apologized to me & it was so heartfelt / emotional - woke from that nightmare in a cold Aquarian sweat. Don’t talk to me about feelings that are ABOUT ME gross what’s wrong with you
I can’t feed my dogs until everyone leaves the living room - I feel like this is totally valid reasoning but my dogs are extroverts so they don’t really get it.
September 17, 2025 at 2:38 AM
I can’t feed my dogs until everyone leaves the living room - I feel like this is totally valid reasoning but my dogs are extroverts so they don’t really get it.
I’m weirdly embarrassed about how much I like hiking
September 16, 2025 at 3:18 PM
I’m weirdly embarrassed about how much I like hiking
My sister was always the golden child but now she’s a homeless meth addict that lost custody of her kid so without a better option I’m now the second favorite!
If my wife got arrested I could probably be #1 for like 8 straight days 🤩
If my wife got arrested I could probably be #1 for like 8 straight days 🤩
September 15, 2025 at 2:11 PM
My sister was always the golden child but now she’s a homeless meth addict that lost custody of her kid so without a better option I’m now the second favorite!
If my wife got arrested I could probably be #1 for like 8 straight days 🤩
If my wife got arrested I could probably be #1 for like 8 straight days 🤩
You think aliens have a whole genre of movies where the theme is “OH NO! ITS HUMANS!!”? cause that seems like it would play really well and if someone I knew was a surprise human I would probably be scared, and I myself am human
September 9, 2025 at 11:34 PM
You think aliens have a whole genre of movies where the theme is “OH NO! ITS HUMANS!!”? cause that seems like it would play really well and if someone I knew was a surprise human I would probably be scared, and I myself am human
Had a *very vivid* dream that I found out what was making all the cows brown (?) but we were running out of it.
you wrecked everything and now all the horses are wrong
I’ve been thinking about this for 3 straight days now.
you wrecked everything and now all the horses are wrong
I’ve been thinking about this for 3 straight days now.
August 19, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Had a *very vivid* dream that I found out what was making all the cows brown (?) but we were running out of it.
you wrecked everything and now all the horses are wrong
I’ve been thinking about this for 3 straight days now.
you wrecked everything and now all the horses are wrong
I’ve been thinking about this for 3 straight days now.
Living in the country is cool cause I just watched my neighbor pull a big ole trailer onto his property and he took down some fence line to do it and it was officially the most interesting thing I’ve seen all week 👍🏼
August 19, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Living in the country is cool cause I just watched my neighbor pull a big ole trailer onto his property and he took down some fence line to do it and it was officially the most interesting thing I’ve seen all week 👍🏼
When everyone in your bustling household leaves and you’re suddenly alone do you start violently screaming into pillows or masturbating? Or both? Should I be doing both while everyone’s away? I’ve just been doing the screaming lately but honestly it’s just not working like it used to
March 14, 2025 at 7:48 PM
When everyone in your bustling household leaves and you’re suddenly alone do you start violently screaming into pillows or masturbating? Or both? Should I be doing both while everyone’s away? I’ve just been doing the screaming lately but honestly it’s just not working like it used to
Flow is like the scariest movie I’ve ever seen in my whole life
March 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Flow is like the scariest movie I’ve ever seen in my whole life
Made my dog a new spring bandana but he’s refused to model it properly
March 8, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Made my dog a new spring bandana but he’s refused to model it properly
I received a bill and a subpoena in the mail today. Fuck getting the mail. I’m not getting the mail anymore. Thank you USPS for all you do but please, fucking chill.
March 7, 2025 at 10:52 PM
I received a bill and a subpoena in the mail today. Fuck getting the mail. I’m not getting the mail anymore. Thank you USPS for all you do but please, fucking chill.
“I can’t get a full night’s sleep”
“It’s genetic”
“Insomnia?”
“No, Alcoholism.”
“It’s genetic”
“Insomnia?”
“No, Alcoholism.”
March 2, 2025 at 4:29 PM
“I can’t get a full night’s sleep”
“It’s genetic”
“Insomnia?”
“No, Alcoholism.”
“It’s genetic”
“Insomnia?”
“No, Alcoholism.”
It’s Feb and 70* and already too hot to lay in the hammock - I was not built for California.
March 1, 2025 at 6:54 PM
It’s Feb and 70* and already too hot to lay in the hammock - I was not built for California.
I got my healthcare welcome packet on the same day as the notice that said my healthcare has been cancelled cause I no longer qualify, and unfortunately I read them in the wrong order so I didn’t even get to enjoy even a single moment of that sweet sweet state coverage 🙃
February 20, 2025 at 4:13 AM
I got my healthcare welcome packet on the same day as the notice that said my healthcare has been cancelled cause I no longer qualify, and unfortunately I read them in the wrong order so I didn’t even get to enjoy even a single moment of that sweet sweet state coverage 🙃
coffee being made at 4:30am so it’s always old no matter what (human) time I get up feels like violence
February 14, 2025 at 4:34 PM
coffee being made at 4:30am so it’s always old no matter what (human) time I get up feels like violence
Did you know that hospitals have LIQUID COCAINE?! Did you also know that it’s quite ironically used to TREAT NOSEBLEEDS??
Like, too much cocaine? Have you tried healing this issue with *checks notes* MORE COCAINE??
Like, too much cocaine? Have you tried healing this issue with *checks notes* MORE COCAINE??
February 13, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Did you know that hospitals have LIQUID COCAINE?! Did you also know that it’s quite ironically used to TREAT NOSEBLEEDS??
Like, too much cocaine? Have you tried healing this issue with *checks notes* MORE COCAINE??
Like, too much cocaine? Have you tried healing this issue with *checks notes* MORE COCAINE??
being hungry makes me forget every single thing I’ve ever learned how to cook
February 1, 2025 at 10:30 PM
being hungry makes me forget every single thing I’ve ever learned how to cook
Still cracking up that the best pickup line anyone ever used on me was “what’s your favorite Christmas song?”
December 2, 2023 at 9:55 PM
Still cracking up that the best pickup line anyone ever used on me was “what’s your favorite Christmas song?”
Got my insurance card & I’m bout to waltz into Kaiser and just go from department to department seeing what my new doctor pass can get me like an American healthcare sampler plate. I bet I’m due for some shots and maybe a blood test or two , who knows! Finding out is half the fun!
November 26, 2023 at 8:11 PM
Got my insurance card & I’m bout to waltz into Kaiser and just go from department to department seeing what my new doctor pass can get me like an American healthcare sampler plate. I bet I’m due for some shots and maybe a blood test or two , who knows! Finding out is half the fun!
To get a leg up on the Monday competition we should all start cybering now - I’ll start.
:::touches ur butt:::
:::touches ur butt:::
November 26, 2023 at 5:20 PM
To get a leg up on the Monday competition we should all start cybering now - I’ll start.
:::touches ur butt:::
:::touches ur butt:::
Audiobooks don’t work when no one around you ever shuts the fuck up.
STAP TALKING TO ME
STAP TALKING TO ME
November 24, 2023 at 10:53 PM
Audiobooks don’t work when no one around you ever shuts the fuck up.
STAP TALKING TO ME
STAP TALKING TO ME