Whack Morris
@whackmorris.bsky.social
Now enjoy my garbage to mediocre content on Bluesky!
Pinned
Writing “blow” under preferred position when filling out a job application.
November 21, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Writing “blow” under preferred position when filling out a job application.
Farting in the bathtub and getting scared that the bubbles are from a sea monster.
November 19, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Farting in the bathtub and getting scared that the bubbles are from a sea monster.
Abraham Lincoln: Pussy Hunter
November 19, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Abraham Lincoln: Pussy Hunter
Deploy the penis as soon as you see the brown of her eye.
November 19, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Deploy the penis as soon as you see the brown of her eye.
A knight, disappointingly putting his helmet back on: “There was no glory at this hole. There was only a penis.”
November 16, 2025 at 5:03 PM
A knight, disappointingly putting his helmet back on: “There was no glory at this hole. There was only a penis.”
The face he makes when he wants
cuddles, food, or to suck your dick.
cuddles, food, or to suck your dick.
November 15, 2025 at 10:23 PM
The face he makes when he wants
cuddles, food, or to suck your dick.
cuddles, food, or to suck your dick.
It’s me. I’m Bubba. Donald Trump sucked my dick so hard that my balls shriveled up.
November 14, 2025 at 11:05 PM
It’s me. I’m Bubba. Donald Trump sucked my dick so hard that my balls shriveled up.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget just how minuscule we are in the grand scheme of things.
November 14, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Sometimes it’s easy to forget just how minuscule we are in the grand scheme of things.
I’m not attracted to my boyfriend unless he dresses like woman.
November 14, 2025 at 12:22 AM
I’m not attracted to my boyfriend unless he dresses like woman.
Was just asked to guest on the Lengthy Penis Podcast, but I turned it down because I’m humble.
November 11, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Was just asked to guest on the Lengthy Penis Podcast, but I turned it down because I’m humble.
Oh, you like sex? Name all the positions.
November 8, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Oh, you like sex? Name all the positions.
Whenever I’m with a girl that’s never seen an uncut penis before I do the Transformers sound the first time I pull my foreskin back.
November 7, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Whenever I’m with a girl that’s never seen an uncut penis before I do the Transformers sound the first time I pull my foreskin back.
Frot dog.
(me and who?)
(me and who?)
November 7, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Frot dog.
(me and who?)
(me and who?)
This looks like a Tim and Eric sketch.
November 6, 2025 at 1:41 AM
This looks like a Tim and Eric sketch.
Ghostface voice: “Do you like romantic comedies?”
November 6, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Ghostface voice: “Do you like romantic comedies?”
Had to give a speech in front of a bunch of people so I was imagining the audience was naked to feel less nervous but then I just got horny and the only words I was able to get out were, “penis butt”.
November 6, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Had to give a speech in front of a bunch of people so I was imagining the audience was naked to feel less nervous but then I just got horny and the only words I was able to get out were, “penis butt”.
Conservatives love to be like, “I enjoy eating shit. Shit tastes super yummy to me. I eat shit all the time.” But then get super angry when someone says they have shit breath.
November 1, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Conservatives love to be like, “I enjoy eating shit. Shit tastes super yummy to me. I eat shit all the time.” But then get super angry when someone says they have shit breath.
Thinking about in 5th grade when my friend and I learned the terms fur burger and hair pie and we stayed in the car while my mom went into the grocery store so we could shout them at random people in the parking lot from inside our car that had dark tinted windows.
November 1, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Thinking about in 5th grade when my friend and I learned the terms fur burger and hair pie and we stayed in the car while my mom went into the grocery store so we could shout them at random people in the parking lot from inside our car that had dark tinted windows.
I hope when Spirit opens their Christmas stores this year they keep all the Spirit Halloween goth employees.
November 1, 2025 at 8:23 PM
I hope when Spirit opens their Christmas stores this year they keep all the Spirit Halloween goth employees.
The best part of waking up 🎶
is busting a fat nut. 🎶
is busting a fat nut. 🎶
October 31, 2025 at 5:06 PM
The best part of waking up 🎶
is busting a fat nut. 🎶
is busting a fat nut. 🎶
Happy Halloweenis.
October 31, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Happy Halloweenis.
Last minute Halloween costume.
October 30, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Last minute Halloween costume.
Officials in Mississippi aren’t worried because COVID is a hoax and everyone in Mississippi already has hepatitis C and herpes.
October 29, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Officials in Mississippi aren’t worried because COVID is a hoax and everyone in Mississippi already has hepatitis C and herpes.