onyx 🌷
@voluntarydetour.bsky.social
new jersey’s favorite furby
A bitch is lit and that bitch is me
November 27, 2025 at 12:57 AM
A bitch is lit and that bitch is me
Reposted by onyx 🌷
You can always tell who has never been punched in the face
November 25, 2025 at 8:37 PM
You can always tell who has never been punched in the face
Finally tried the new bagel place in town . . . eww
November 22, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Finally tried the new bagel place in town . . . eww
If I’m becoming lactose intolerant as I age I will genuinely paint the ceiling
November 10, 2025 at 7:07 PM
If I’m becoming lactose intolerant as I age I will genuinely paint the ceiling
You give off the vibes of someone who specifies “and a half” when they’re asked their height
November 7, 2025 at 3:09 AM
You give off the vibes of someone who specifies “and a half” when they’re asked their height
I want this but manuals are lame
November 2, 2025 at 7:21 PM
I want this but manuals are lame
What a great Halloween I love my country Bordentown New Jersey
November 1, 2025 at 3:01 AM
What a great Halloween I love my country Bordentown New Jersey
Mr. President a third Werewolves of London has hit the TouchTunes
November 1, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Mr. President a third Werewolves of London has hit the TouchTunes
Reposted by onyx 🌷
If Taco Bell makes you sick it’s because your bloodline has been selected for extinction.
The Taco Bell tolls and it tolls for thee
The Taco Bell tolls and it tolls for thee
October 31, 2025 at 2:29 AM
If Taco Bell makes you sick it’s because your bloodline has been selected for extinction.
The Taco Bell tolls and it tolls for thee
The Taco Bell tolls and it tolls for thee
Every single time my boss asks me where I’m going my reply is always “to mind my own business” and it’s amazing that I haven’t been fired yet
October 28, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Every single time my boss asks me where I’m going my reply is always “to mind my own business” and it’s amazing that I haven’t been fired yet
Seeing the other emos board my flight to Vegas like
a man and a woman are standing next to each other with the words i know what you are written above them
ALT: a man and a woman are standing next to each other with the words i know what you are written above them
media.tenor.com
October 17, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Seeing the other emos board my flight to Vegas like
There’s so many things happening in Jersey this weekend that I want to go to but I have my priorities straight for once and am going to Nevada to see Straylight Run instead
October 16, 2025 at 10:57 PM
There’s so many things happening in Jersey this weekend that I want to go to but I have my priorities straight for once and am going to Nevada to see Straylight Run instead
Random ideas I’ve had while working on a project at the local brewery:
- become a helicopter pilot
- live on a houseboat
- open an all you can eat taco restaurant
- become a helicopter pilot
- live on a houseboat
- open an all you can eat taco restaurant
October 12, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Random ideas I’ve had while working on a project at the local brewery:
- become a helicopter pilot
- live on a houseboat
- open an all you can eat taco restaurant
- become a helicopter pilot
- live on a houseboat
- open an all you can eat taco restaurant
I have never seen so many people struggle taking boats out of the water
October 11, 2025 at 3:19 PM
I have never seen so many people struggle taking boats out of the water
I’m on vacation in Vermont and all I can do is lay around and be depressed about stuff, fucking love everything
September 29, 2025 at 11:01 PM
I’m on vacation in Vermont and all I can do is lay around and be depressed about stuff, fucking love everything
These particular chest pains are probably an issue
September 23, 2025 at 1:57 PM
These particular chest pains are probably an issue
The mystery O person is supportive in all facets
September 22, 2025 at 10:35 PM
The mystery O person is supportive in all facets
Everyone sees my airport posts and asks me where I’m headed but nobody thinks “your moms house” is a funny answer damn comedy really is illegal now
September 18, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Everyone sees my airport posts and asks me where I’m headed but nobody thinks “your moms house” is a funny answer damn comedy really is illegal now
I have an extra cookie who wants it
September 16, 2025 at 1:43 PM
I have an extra cookie who wants it
Reposted by onyx 🌷
go birds is the philadelphia version of aloha it means hello i love you and goodbye
September 4, 2025 at 5:36 PM
go birds is the philadelphia version of aloha it means hello i love you and goodbye
My favorite so far has been the “if you were a dog i would let you in the house if it was raining really hard or something”
i like to randomly message onyx and let him know the status of our friendship, which is usually along the lines of "youre like if i saw a duck on the other side of the street"
September 4, 2025 at 6:46 PM
My favorite so far has been the “if you were a dog i would let you in the house if it was raining really hard or something”
Reposted by onyx 🌷
Inside of you are two tacos.
August 29, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Inside of you are two tacos.
I’m at the precise level of washer fluid where my car only says it’s low when I’m slowing down
August 21, 2025 at 8:46 PM
I’m at the precise level of washer fluid where my car only says it’s low when I’m slowing down
I can’t wait to go home and have the longest hottest shower I can fathom (20 minutes at 110 degrees before my water heater runs out)
August 20, 2025 at 6:33 PM
I can’t wait to go home and have the longest hottest shower I can fathom (20 minutes at 110 degrees before my water heater runs out)
90s Chevy truck keeps calling my name
August 20, 2025 at 2:23 PM
90s Chevy truck keeps calling my name