Vittoria
@vitt.bsky.social
Born and bred in Brussels. Auditioned to be the talking clock. Will write for cash and custard.
To those who’ve been off work since 19th December: I regret to inform you the dream is over. Work is back. Your leisure has been discontinued. The out-of-office has expired. The smugness must end. Reality has a Teams invite just for you.
January 5, 2026 at 10:47 AM
To those who’ve been off work since 19th December: I regret to inform you the dream is over. Work is back. Your leisure has been discontinued. The out-of-office has expired. The smugness must end. Reality has a Teams invite just for you.
One of my biggest worries is making new friends then going round for tea and discovering their house looks like this, and I’ll have to fake my own death to get out the friendship.
January 4, 2026 at 2:27 PM
One of my biggest worries is making new friends then going round for tea and discovering their house looks like this, and I’ll have to fake my own death to get out the friendship.
Reposted by Vittoria
❗ Bin collection days are changing next week ❗
From Monday 5 January, waste and recycling collection days are changing for most households. Please check your new regular collection day on the online bin calendar so you don’t miss a collection: soton.cc/bincalendar
From Monday 5 January, waste and recycling collection days are changing for most households. Please check your new regular collection day on the online bin calendar so you don’t miss a collection: soton.cc/bincalendar
December 30, 2025 at 9:48 AM
❗ Bin collection days are changing next week ❗
From Monday 5 January, waste and recycling collection days are changing for most households. Please check your new regular collection day on the online bin calendar so you don’t miss a collection: soton.cc/bincalendar
From Monday 5 January, waste and recycling collection days are changing for most households. Please check your new regular collection day on the online bin calendar so you don’t miss a collection: soton.cc/bincalendar
Reposted by Vittoria
1/5. October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. Domestic abuse isn’t just physical, it can be any threats, violence, controlling or coercive behaviour that takes place between family members, or between who people are, or have been, in a relationship.
October 29, 2025 at 3:16 PM
1/5. October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. Domestic abuse isn’t just physical, it can be any threats, violence, controlling or coercive behaviour that takes place between family members, or between who people are, or have been, in a relationship.
Chloe Kelly kicked the ball harder than anyone in the Premier League last season. Just in case anyone still thinks the women’s game isn’t “as fast”. #Lionesses
July 29, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Chloe Kelly kicked the ball harder than anyone in the Premier League last season. Just in case anyone still thinks the women’s game isn’t “as fast”. #Lionesses
MORNING. Today marks 20 years since Brian Harvey ran himself over after eating four tuna mayo jacket potatoes. NEVER FORGET.
May 30, 2025 at 8:14 AM
MORNING. Today marks 20 years since Brian Harvey ran himself over after eating four tuna mayo jacket potatoes. NEVER FORGET.
My fav Italian word is FRANCOBOLLI, meaning stamps.
April 20, 2025 at 10:17 AM
My fav Italian word is FRANCOBOLLI, meaning stamps.
Happy Easter from Tuscany ❤️
April 20, 2025 at 9:57 AM
Happy Easter from Tuscany ❤️
Reposted by Vittoria
People say I often remind them of Harry Styles. It’s probably the t-shirt I sometimes wear saying ‘don’t forget about Harry Styles’.
April 16, 2025 at 7:42 PM
People say I often remind them of Harry Styles. It’s probably the t-shirt I sometimes wear saying ‘don’t forget about Harry Styles’.
Katy Perry says "you never know love until the day of a launch"... Katy Perry has a child, everyone. #BlueOrigin
April 16, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Katy Perry says "you never know love until the day of a launch"... Katy Perry has a child, everyone. #BlueOrigin
Sorting out our travel to Gatwick. And it may sound mental but we're just... paying for parking.
April 13, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Sorting out our travel to Gatwick. And it may sound mental but we're just... paying for parking.
The neighbour was arrested yesterday because he had a knife on him and before anyone says anything, yes I carry a knife also but that's in case there's ever cake.
April 13, 2025 at 3:49 PM
The neighbour was arrested yesterday because he had a knife on him and before anyone says anything, yes I carry a knife also but that's in case there's ever cake.
Actual girl dinner at work
April 9, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Actual girl dinner at work
My beauty lady had a man come in for waxing. Unnecessarily, he stripped TOTALLY NUDE for treatment, then proceeded to PURPOSELY fart, and then LAUGH at his farts, to the point she was so uncomfortable she walked out and no longer treats men. Men, this is why we fucking hate you.
April 9, 2025 at 2:40 PM
My beauty lady had a man come in for waxing. Unnecessarily, he stripped TOTALLY NUDE for treatment, then proceeded to PURPOSELY fart, and then LAUGH at his farts, to the point she was so uncomfortable she walked out and no longer treats men. Men, this is why we fucking hate you.
OK let's do this. Oxford comma or no Oxford comma? Tell me.
April 9, 2025 at 1:29 PM
OK let's do this. Oxford comma or no Oxford comma? Tell me.
Reposted by Vittoria
📣 From Monday, the Itchen Bridge toll charge will increase for non-Southampton residents
🪪 The toll charges will remain the same for Southampton residents with a SmartCities card
❌ For Southampton residents without a SmartCities card and non-Southampton residents, the tariffs will increase by 20p
🪪 The toll charges will remain the same for Southampton residents with a SmartCities card
❌ For Southampton residents without a SmartCities card and non-Southampton residents, the tariffs will increase by 20p
April 4, 2025 at 9:45 AM
📣 From Monday, the Itchen Bridge toll charge will increase for non-Southampton residents
🪪 The toll charges will remain the same for Southampton residents with a SmartCities card
❌ For Southampton residents without a SmartCities card and non-Southampton residents, the tariffs will increase by 20p
🪪 The toll charges will remain the same for Southampton residents with a SmartCities card
❌ For Southampton residents without a SmartCities card and non-Southampton residents, the tariffs will increase by 20p
Reposted by Vittoria
🧹Spring cleaning this weekend? Remember, recycle your electricals! Check out RYEs' website and socials for tips and hints on how to get organised, how to donate or recycle and to find your nearest recycling point. 🌍 A win for you AND for the planet! www.recycleyourelectricals.org.uk?gad_source=1...
April 4, 2025 at 3:09 PM
🧹Spring cleaning this weekend? Remember, recycle your electricals! Check out RYEs' website and socials for tips and hints on how to get organised, how to donate or recycle and to find your nearest recycling point. 🌍 A win for you AND for the planet! www.recycleyourelectricals.org.uk?gad_source=1...
If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?
Mine are Andrew Tate, Laurence Fox, Joey Barton and Donald Trump, and they'd all be dead.
Mine are Andrew Tate, Laurence Fox, Joey Barton and Donald Trump, and they'd all be dead.
March 27, 2025 at 8:59 AM
If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?
Mine are Andrew Tate, Laurence Fox, Joey Barton and Donald Trump, and they'd all be dead.
Mine are Andrew Tate, Laurence Fox, Joey Barton and Donald Trump, and they'd all be dead.