Spencer
@vermhatswormhat.bsky.social
Author of “The Comprehensive Guide to Avoiding Eye Contact”
Crushing these openers.
June 26, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Crushing these openers.
I’ve been dating again recently and have now gone on several dates where I’ve been asked less than three questions. The bar is so unbelievable low, that just inquiring about the person you are with will put you ahead of the pack
June 6, 2025 at 7:55 PM
I’ve been dating again recently and have now gone on several dates where I’ve been asked less than three questions. The bar is so unbelievable low, that just inquiring about the person you are with will put you ahead of the pack
The perfect women doesn’t exi…
June 6, 2025 at 7:53 PM
The perfect women doesn’t exi…
Showing my friends some exercises I learned in yoga to fix my lower back only to have them reply they know those exercises just under a different names like ‘landmines’ instead of ‘the dolphin’
June 6, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Showing my friends some exercises I learned in yoga to fix my lower back only to have them reply they know those exercises just under a different names like ‘landmines’ instead of ‘the dolphin’
Whether is a 10 or 30 minute drive my cars AC only seems to really start working about 2 minutes before I get to my destination.
May 30, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Whether is a 10 or 30 minute drive my cars AC only seems to really start working about 2 minutes before I get to my destination.
Millennials when another appalling J.K. Rowling story comes out.
May 29, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Millennials when another appalling J.K. Rowling story comes out.
Boss: You must begin gene picks, listen to cell decay, seven days.”
Employee: (barely listening) got it.
Employee: (barely listening) got it.
May 26, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Boss: You must begin gene picks, listen to cell decay, seven days.”
Employee: (barely listening) got it.
Employee: (barely listening) got it.
One of the things I hate about traveling is having to try all the new food. Luckily they have all my favorites in Berlin!
May 15, 2025 at 7:24 PM
One of the things I hate about traveling is having to try all the new food. Luckily they have all my favorites in Berlin!
It’s always good morning, I think you have sleep apnea, and never, I had a great time last night.
May 5, 2025 at 4:15 PM
It’s always good morning, I think you have sleep apnea, and never, I had a great time last night.
Disney Adults - Harry Potter Adults
April 19, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Disney Adults - Harry Potter Adults
All this talk about group chats sounds awesome. I’d love to be a part of one someday.
March 26, 2025 at 1:54 AM
All this talk about group chats sounds awesome. I’d love to be a part of one someday.
Are men not allowed to have hobbies anymore?!
March 24, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Are men not allowed to have hobbies anymore?!
Men want to hear one thing when you throw on your sex playlist, and thats Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo Number Five.
March 20, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Men want to hear one thing when you throw on your sex playlist, and thats Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo Number Five.
Millennials will fly halfway around the world and just share pictures of espresso martinis like they do in their hometown.
March 20, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Millennials will fly halfway around the world and just share pictures of espresso martinis like they do in their hometown.
But if not no worries
March 19, 2025 at 4:36 PM
But if not no worries
This would be so nice to pop on the TV next holiday season. 🎄
March 19, 2025 at 2:17 AM
This would be so nice to pop on the TV next holiday season. 🎄
Going to start paying close attention to the safety instructions before takeoff now.
March 14, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Going to start paying close attention to the safety instructions before takeoff now.
Climbing a mountain and skiing down for full moon tonight. Will report back later.
March 13, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Climbing a mountain and skiing down for full moon tonight. Will report back later.
I’ll take a white monster on the rocks please
March 13, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I’ll take a white monster on the rocks please
Back to shit posting in a sec, but let’s celebrate. I just graduated from ski instructing school from the National Sports Centered for the Disabled. I can now train adaptive skiing for all cognitive and physical disabilities! 🎉
March 13, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Back to shit posting in a sec, but let’s celebrate. I just graduated from ski instructing school from the National Sports Centered for the Disabled. I can now train adaptive skiing for all cognitive and physical disabilities! 🎉
So what did you think?!
Her: I didn’t think you would sing and dance the entire Macarena when you asked if I knew the song.
Her: I didn’t think you would sing and dance the entire Macarena when you asked if I knew the song.
March 12, 2025 at 1:01 AM
So what did you think?!
Her: I didn’t think you would sing and dance the entire Macarena when you asked if I knew the song.
Her: I didn’t think you would sing and dance the entire Macarena when you asked if I knew the song.
I’m sorry I was late for this revenue meeting, I was trying to make a 3/11 was an inside job meme to send to the fellas.
March 11, 2025 at 8:45 PM
I’m sorry I was late for this revenue meeting, I was trying to make a 3/11 was an inside job meme to send to the fellas.
Please pray for my friend Wes. Nothing medically wrong with him that we know of but he does think these sunglasses are cool.
March 9, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Please pray for my friend Wes. Nothing medically wrong with him that we know of but he does think these sunglasses are cool.