Valet Parker * Las Vegas
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valetparker.bsky.social
Valet Parker * Las Vegas
@valetparker.bsky.social
An acquired taste. Very complicated. Delightfully shitty. Surprisingly nerdy and introverted.

💻 https://www.yourvegasvalet.com
💅🏻 https://thesnarkyseductress.com
📧 valetparker@protonmail.com
🎁 https://throne.com/valetparker
💸 Cashapp $ValetParker777
Pinned
🎶The men who are upset about providers screening are precisely the reason why providers have to screen🎶
November 9, 2025 at 4:16 AM
@jakevig.bsky.social just stopped by to brighten your timeline…
November 8, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Remember when every mom in the 90s discovered sponge painting and suddenly every wall looked like it had a yeast infection in Tuscan beige?
November 8, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Can’t believe no one’s opened a sperm bank called “Get a Load of This Guy.” Like… how is marketing just leaving money on the table and in the cup?
October 25, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Hiiiii, should I get some new frames like these and swap out the classic black frames???
October 20, 2025 at 9:00 AM
If you can"t be the sharpest tool in the shed, you can always be the hoe
October 5, 2025 at 11:21 PM
My toxic trait is that I get excited when people are mean to me because now I get to be even meaner.
October 4, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Here’s some great life advice.

If someone wants to treat you like a toy,
be Annabelle.
a doll in a wooden box with a sign that says " warning positively do not "
ALT: a doll in a wooden box with a sign that says " warning positively do not "
media.tenor.com
October 4, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Dating is just slowly realizing you’d rather be alone with delivery and WiFi.
October 4, 2025 at 10:43 PM
My toxic trait? I think screenshots are an Olympic sport and I’m going for gold.
October 4, 2025 at 10:41 PM
I only dissociate at work Monday through Friday from 9 to 5. I’m a professional.
October 4, 2025 at 10:41 PM
If you’re trading dignity for brunch and a ride home, congrats—you’re undercharging.
October 4, 2025 at 10:40 PM
It’s always the ‘not escorts’ dragging escorts, same photographer, same poses, same group alibi, now with the added bonus of calling yourself an influencer or ‘atmosphere model’ like that somehow earns you moral high ground.
October 4, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Study Finds Clients Have Best Experiences When They Follow Provider Directions, Scientists Shocked

In a groundbreaking discovery that has rocked the adult services industry, researchers have confirmed what providers have known for decades: clients who actually read a provider’s website
October 4, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Hear me out

A few hundred of us who hate ICE should “join up,” act super patriotic, then quietly leak raid locations like it’s the world’s most chaotic group project.

Think Ocean’s Eleven, but everyone’s bilingual and morally employed.
October 4, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Well??
October 4, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Reposted by Valet Parker * Las Vegas
When I screen and verify a booking request and, without me even asking, he bypasses the deposit and just sends the full amount… congratulations sir, you’ve officially unlocked VIP Client Energy™. 💕
October 1, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Reposted by Valet Parker * Las Vegas
Very demure, very mindful

If you want to see me this month you better get those booking forms in. Plan ahead as my dance card for the month is almost full……
October 1, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Reposted by Valet Parker * Las Vegas
Fresh blowout and makeup free, besides the rose Vaseline on my lips 💕

I actually love being lazy and not wearing makeup.
September 30, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Funny how y’all want to liberate workers but not the ones who have receipts of your embarrassing kinks.

The revolution will not be televised because you can’t handle HD exposure of your foot fetish.
October 4, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Your funeral might be the first time some of your “friends” ever say something nice about you.
October 4, 2025 at 1:41 AM
There are more laws protecting a corporation’s financial loss than there are protecting a human being’s physical safety.
October 4, 2025 at 1:39 AM
If serial killers are so “intelligent,” why do they always get caught because of something stupid?
October 4, 2025 at 1:39 AM
If serial killers are so “intelligent,” why do they always get caught because of something stupid?
October 4, 2025 at 1:38 AM
The fact that we figured out WiFi before universal healthcare just proves our priorities are straight-up chaos.
October 4, 2025 at 1:37 AM