user4555089.bsky.social
@user4555089.bsky.social
I had a vision of Hell when I last considered suicide. God's presence felt amongst malicious and evil in that moment as He was warning me not to, but sometimes harshness is needed. I was just scared but I needed to be.
February 15, 2026 at 12:54 PM
I had a vision of Hell when I last considered suicide. God's presence felt amongst malicious and evil in that moment as He was warning me not to, but sometimes harshness is needed. I was just scared but I needed to be.
People are blamed for not "taking one for the team" and speaking up about horrific things when it's risky, but the reality is that they won't necessarily be the one targeted. Few are willing to let their family members or spouse be threatened.
February 15, 2026 at 10:48 AM
People are blamed for not "taking one for the team" and speaking up about horrific things when it's risky, but the reality is that they won't necessarily be the one targeted. Few are willing to let their family members or spouse be threatened.
I'm in so much emotional pain that my chest feels like it's physically being crushed. Nothing makes me feel better. Other people have had much worse things happen to them, but I'm so fucked up and defective that I can never be normal.
February 15, 2026 at 9:32 AM
I'm in so much emotional pain that my chest feels like it's physically being crushed. Nothing makes me feel better. Other people have had much worse things happen to them, but I'm so fucked up and defective that I can never be normal.
I'm so utterly useless that killing me would stop dragging others down to the extent that humans would probably discover time travel, immortality, and the cure to cancer within 5 years of me meeting my end. A 5000 ton lead weight on the fabric of society...
February 15, 2026 at 1:51 AM
I'm so utterly useless that killing me would stop dragging others down to the extent that humans would probably discover time travel, immortality, and the cure to cancer within 5 years of me meeting my end. A 5000 ton lead weight on the fabric of society...
Today, I was wearing an Aphex Twin shirt and a boy said "Nice shirt". All I managed to say was "Oh....... Thanks!" I kinda told myself I'd at least try to start a conversation if that ever happened but I felt sort of paralyzed.
February 15, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Today, I was wearing an Aphex Twin shirt and a boy said "Nice shirt". All I managed to say was "Oh....... Thanks!" I kinda told myself I'd at least try to start a conversation if that ever happened but I felt sort of paralyzed.
I feel like in my emptiness, there is value. I've mentioned potential matyrdom before, but I also like the idea of finding an ambitious person who genuinely wants to change the world for the better and serving them. Being a vessel.
February 13, 2026 at 9:52 PM
I feel like in my emptiness, there is value. I've mentioned potential matyrdom before, but I also like the idea of finding an ambitious person who genuinely wants to change the world for the better and serving them. Being a vessel.
Really, I haven't lived much at all. Most of my "life" is just my own vapid thoughts eating each other.
I go outside, but it feels like a corpse being dragged along. These people feel untouchable, and to them I feel the same. Uncomfortable glances. At best I am pitied.
I go outside, but it feels like a corpse being dragged along. These people feel untouchable, and to them I feel the same. Uncomfortable glances. At best I am pitied.
February 13, 2026 at 9:43 PM
Really, I haven't lived much at all. Most of my "life" is just my own vapid thoughts eating each other.
I go outside, but it feels like a corpse being dragged along. These people feel untouchable, and to them I feel the same. Uncomfortable glances. At best I am pitied.
I go outside, but it feels like a corpse being dragged along. These people feel untouchable, and to them I feel the same. Uncomfortable glances. At best I am pitied.
Having only imaginary friends at 22 is a choice you can make. If the only other viable option is isolation then I see no reason to feel shame. Avoiding childishness seems silly and ironically immature.
February 10, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Having only imaginary friends at 22 is a choice you can make. If the only other viable option is isolation then I see no reason to feel shame. Avoiding childishness seems silly and ironically immature.
I don't want to live in this world. Many people are too ready to excuse and support evil, with no actual values- your "impoliteness" if you say anything is a bigger sin in their eyes. I myself am not perfect, but some of the shit I've seen is so sickening.
February 10, 2026 at 1:37 PM
I don't want to live in this world. Many people are too ready to excuse and support evil, with no actual values- your "impoliteness" if you say anything is a bigger sin in their eyes. I myself am not perfect, but some of the shit I've seen is so sickening.