John Bruni
@tusitalabruni.bsky.social
I am the author of Eye Cutter, Tales of Unspeakable Taste and others.
*In GOB* Oh COME ON! You pissed away your chance at possibly becoming a TMNT villain?!
November 18, 2025 at 1:54 AM
*In GOB* Oh COME ON! You pissed away your chance at possibly becoming a TMNT villain?!
Fer cryin' out loud.
November 17, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Fer cryin' out loud.
And you wonder why you have that recurring dream where your teeth fall out.
November 16, 2025 at 2:11 PM
And you wonder why you have that recurring dream where your teeth fall out.
"Where did you get that penguin?"
"Fell off the back of a truck."
"Fell off the back of a truck."
November 16, 2025 at 1:33 AM
"Where did you get that penguin?"
"Fell off the back of a truck."
"Fell off the back of a truck."
Wait, you can do that?
November 15, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Wait, you can do that?
Ever wonder if customer service call centers were designed to actually *not* help customers? If so, you're right to wonder!
November 14, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Ever wonder if customer service call centers were designed to actually *not* help customers? If so, you're right to wonder!
It always weirds me out when there's a pet in the background of a porno. Like, are you seriously going to just fuck in front of your cat?
November 14, 2025 at 2:07 AM
It always weirds me out when there's a pet in the background of a porno. Like, are you seriously going to just fuck in front of your cat?
I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Col. Hogan is related to the Mavericks.
November 13, 2025 at 8:17 PM
I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Col. Hogan is related to the Mavericks.
"Sniper tourism" is one of the reasons I wrote Poor Bastards and Rich Fucks. Now a bunch of Italian rich fucks have been caught doing just that, but they're not the only ones. I wonder which US rich fucks went to Sarajevo to shoot helpless people for kicks.
November 13, 2025 at 3:18 PM
"Sniper tourism" is one of the reasons I wrote Poor Bastards and Rich Fucks. Now a bunch of Italian rich fucks have been caught doing just that, but they're not the only ones. I wonder which US rich fucks went to Sarajevo to shoot helpless people for kicks.
No, this happens five seconds after I wake up every day.
November 13, 2025 at 1:22 AM
No, this happens five seconds after I wake up every day.
A customer just said dadgummit to me. Like, for real. He said it like he meant it.
November 12, 2025 at 10:36 PM
A customer just said dadgummit to me. Like, for real. He said it like he meant it.
Reposted by John Bruni
You know what sucks? Driving at 60 mph when the sun makes a sudden blazing appearance in front of you, and you go into a sneezing fit.
November 12, 2025 at 1:47 PM
You know what sucks? Driving at 60 mph when the sun makes a sudden blazing appearance in front of you, and you go into a sneezing fit.
I should frame this meme.
November 12, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I should frame this meme.
I took a break from shows to watch a string of kickass movies, but now it's time for the next series. A story narrated by Prometheus with Jeff Goldblum as Zeus? Yes, it's time for Kaos.
November 11, 2025 at 2:58 AM
I took a break from shows to watch a string of kickass movies, but now it's time for the next series. A story narrated by Prometheus with Jeff Goldblum as Zeus? Yes, it's time for Kaos.
Reposted by John Bruni
HE COULDN'T EVEN WAIT TWO MORE DAYS?
November 11, 2025 at 2:03 AM
HE COULDN'T EVEN WAIT TWO MORE DAYS?
Are you sure that he didn't start writing this note before Jack showed up to ask that question?
November 11, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Are you sure that he didn't start writing this note before Jack showed up to ask that question?
I woke up, looked outside and saw no snow. Just a crisp frost. As I drove in to work, though, it looks like everyone else got snow, snarling traffic up. It's weird that I live so far out that we didn't get snow, but work did. I'll have to keep that in mind in the future.
November 10, 2025 at 4:02 PM
I woke up, looked outside and saw no snow. Just a crisp frost. As I drove in to work, though, it looks like everyone else got snow, snarling traffic up. It's weird that I live so far out that we didn't get snow, but work did. I'll have to keep that in mind in the future.
Nachos would rule right now.
November 10, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Nachos would rule right now.
Hogan made a pretty good joke while killing someone on today's Hogan's Heroes. It was the punchline to the episode, laugh track and all.
November 9, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Hogan made a pretty good joke while killing someone on today's Hogan's Heroes. It was the punchline to the episode, laugh track and all.
I have a policy of never buying anything off of social media. This link made me grateful for that. I'm sure all platforms do this, but Facebook? It's par for the course for a company that started so Harvard men could non-consensually rate the fuckability of their classmates.
November 9, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I have a policy of never buying anything off of social media. This link made me grateful for that. I'm sure all platforms do this, but Facebook? It's par for the course for a company that started so Harvard men could non-consensually rate the fuckability of their classmates.
Have you ever gone to the grocery store? It's because they are.
November 9, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Have you ever gone to the grocery store? It's because they are.
76? Those who are trapped in a conversation with me *wish* it was only 76.
November 8, 2025 at 1:56 AM
76? Those who are trapped in a conversation with me *wish* it was only 76.
