Verified Tom Carpenter
@tomcarpenter.bsky.social
Chronicler of the Apocalypse. Wearing flip-flops on the subway is unsanitary.
I feel like I should see #MartySupreme, but I'm wondering if they'd leave off the green peppers.
January 22, 2026 at 6:40 PM
I feel like I should see #MartySupreme, but I'm wondering if they'd leave off the green peppers.
I have a strong view that it's not appropriate to report rumors as "news," so this should definitely *not* be circulated widely.
"His nickname was wet wipes!" Even more messy Tr*mp diaper details emerge, and it's not pretty - Queerty
Somehow there's even more diaper lore.
www.queerty.com
January 22, 2026 at 11:48 AM
I have a strong view that it's not appropriate to report rumors as "news," so this should definitely *not* be circulated widely.
How does the US ever come back from this?
Lagarde walks out of Lutnick speech in Davos critical of Europe, sources say
ECB President Christine Lagarde walked out of a dinner at the World Economic Forum during a speech critical of Europe by U.S. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, and the hosts called off the event befo...
www.reuters.com
January 22, 2026 at 3:22 AM
How does the US ever come back from this?
JD Vance: "Have you said thank you once?"
Second lady Usha Vance and Vice President JD Vance are expecting a baby this summer, the couple announced Tuesday.
Read more: https://cnn.it/3LJPUUM
Read more: https://cnn.it/3LJPUUM
January 21, 2026 at 12:15 PM
JD Vance: "Have you said thank you once?"
In case anyone is interested in what I said.
PTO-maxxing involves tacking vacation days onto holidays and weekends to maximize time off. Here's how it works and other tips for making the most of your PTO.
'PTO-maxxing' is the key to making the most of your time off in 2026—here's how to do it
PTO-maxxing involves tacking vacation days onto holidays and weekends to maximize time off. Here's how it works and other tips for making the most of your PTO.
cnb.cx
January 21, 2026 at 1:45 AM
In case anyone is interested in what I said.
My claim to fame for the day: www.cnbc.com/amp/2026/01/...
'PTO-maxxing' is the key to making the most of your time off in 2026—here's how to do it
PTO-maxxing involves tacking vacation days onto holidays and weekends to maximize time off. Here's how it works and other tips for making the most of your PTO.
www.cnbc.com
January 21, 2026 at 12:41 AM
My claim to fame for the day: www.cnbc.com/amp/2026/01/...
NBC is running a promo where the US Hockey Team is reveling in anticipation of being bad sports against... Canada. If there was ever a time to show the rest of the world that the US isn't a bunch of petty, billious bullies, now would be that time. If you're not part of the solution, you're NBC
January 18, 2026 at 11:18 PM
NBC is running a promo where the US Hockey Team is reveling in anticipation of being bad sports against... Canada. If there was ever a time to show the rest of the world that the US isn't a bunch of petty, billious bullies, now would be that time. If you're not part of the solution, you're NBC
But at least Bezos doesn’t have to pay taxes…
January 14, 2026 at 3:49 PM
But at least Bezos doesn’t have to pay taxes…
When are the Never Trump Neocons who host MSNBC shows going to admit that they set the stage for all of this. We’re owed an apology at least. Preferably sackcloth and ashes.
January 10, 2026 at 7:54 AM
When are the Never Trump Neocons who host MSNBC shows going to admit that they set the stage for all of this. We’re owed an apology at least. Preferably sackcloth and ashes.
Reposted by Verified Tom Carpenter
"You think you’re watching a woman drive away with an ICE agent following, then shooting her four times in the face, but what you’re really watching is an ICE agent in fear of his life and acting in self-defense."
What You’re Watching Isn’t What You’re Really Watching
“Federal and local officials dispute the circumstances that led an Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer to fatally shoot a 37-year-old woman...
buff.ly
January 10, 2026 at 2:40 AM
"You think you’re watching a woman drive away with an ICE agent following, then shooting her four times in the face, but what you’re really watching is an ICE agent in fear of his life and acting in self-defense."
See, Marco Rubio wants to annex Cuba, but Cuba is propped up by cheap oil from Venezuela, so first, we take to oil from Venezuela, and *then* we get to take over Cuba. Right after we’re done killing unarmed citizens in fake ICE raids, that is…
January 9, 2026 at 10:07 AM
See, Marco Rubio wants to annex Cuba, but Cuba is propped up by cheap oil from Venezuela, so first, we take to oil from Venezuela, and *then* we get to take over Cuba. Right after we’re done killing unarmed citizens in fake ICE raids, that is…
He has to keep saying this racist bullshit because his White Nationalist supporters will start to call him out as a "race defiler" for being married to a brown person the moment he stops.
January 8, 2026 at 12:07 PM
He has to keep saying this racist bullshit because his White Nationalist supporters will start to call him out as a "race defiler" for being married to a brown person the moment he stops.
I don't understand how we're going to fight wars against (1) Venezuela, (2) Denmark and NATO, and (3) the unarmed women of Minneapolis all at the same time.
January 8, 2026 at 12:04 PM
I don't understand how we're going to fight wars against (1) Venezuela, (2) Denmark and NATO, and (3) the unarmed women of Minneapolis all at the same time.
Qualified Immunity + Gutting Habeas Corpus = Police State Dictatorship.
ICE Kills A Woman In Minneapolis And Will Probably Get Away With It - Above the Law
Qualified immunity means never having to say you're sorry — even when you shoot a legal observer through her car window.
abovethelaw.com
January 8, 2026 at 12:02 PM
Qualified Immunity + Gutting Habeas Corpus = Police State Dictatorship.
Make it viral.
January 8, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Make it viral.
Like Trump couldn't just start wearing his own sashes with lots of gold medals? He had to abduct Maduro to get his sash?
January 3, 2026 at 10:59 AM
Like Trump couldn't just start wearing his own sashes with lots of gold medals? He had to abduct Maduro to get his sash?
It's like Trump was waiting for the re-boot of CBS News before they decided to invade Venezuela.
January 3, 2026 at 10:53 AM
It's like Trump was waiting for the re-boot of CBS News before they decided to invade Venezuela.
Why do I have a feeling that this is all because Venezuela has had too many Miss Universe winners...
January 3, 2026 at 10:45 AM
Why do I have a feeling that this is all because Venezuela has had too many Miss Universe winners...
So, we're officially at war with #Venezuela -- Congress declared war, right? 'Cause this kinda looks like a war.
Live Updates: U.S. Captures Venezuelan Leader, Trump Says
www.nytimes.com
January 3, 2026 at 10:44 AM
So, we're officially at war with #Venezuela -- Congress declared war, right? 'Cause this kinda looks like a war.
I'm watching #StarWars on one of the random networks that are on my YouTubeTv subscription, and I'm here to tell you that Peter Cushing is not nearly as accommodating as his last name would suggest.
January 1, 2026 at 5:51 AM
I'm watching #StarWars on one of the random networks that are on my YouTubeTv subscription, and I'm here to tell you that Peter Cushing is not nearly as accommodating as his last name would suggest.
Okay - but can we have 2026 •also• be the year of the rotisserie chicken, because my strongly-held opinion is that we could have back-to-back years of rotisserie chicken.
2025 Was the Year of the Rotisserie Chicken
www.nytimes.com
January 1, 2026 at 5:42 AM
Okay - but can we have 2026 •also• be the year of the rotisserie chicken, because my strongly-held opinion is that we could have back-to-back years of rotisserie chicken.
Rockin’ New Year’s Eve! Hosted by Ryan Seacrest and the reanimated corpse of Dick Clark!
January 1, 2026 at 4:47 AM
Rockin’ New Year’s Eve! Hosted by Ryan Seacrest and the reanimated corpse of Dick Clark!
Justice is a word that means that there’s accountability if you do horrible things to other people and also if you break the law. Seems we’ve lost consensus on the value of justice. At least in the US.
December 30, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Justice is a word that means that there’s accountability if you do horrible things to other people and also if you break the law. Seems we’ve lost consensus on the value of justice. At least in the US.
I hope someone tells @nytimes.com that they’ve voluntarily abdicated their position as “Paper of Record” and that the only reason many of us still subscribe is for the recipes, puzzles, and Broadway reviews. And really, it’s mostly the puzzles.
“The president, tiptoeing precipitously down the sidelines of legality, inadvertently ran the constitutional football out of bounds.” #McSweeneysTop25of2025
New York Times’ Style Guide Substitutions for “The President Violated the Constitution”
Our 22nd most-read article of 2025. - - -Originally published June 3, 2025. - - -“The president remained steadfast in his novel interpretation of ...
buff.ly
December 30, 2025 at 12:44 AM
I hope someone tells @nytimes.com that they’ve voluntarily abdicated their position as “Paper of Record” and that the only reason many of us still subscribe is for the recipes, puzzles, and Broadway reviews. And really, it’s mostly the puzzles.
I’ve spent the past week thinking about the fact that working poor people couldn’t afford Christmas presents for their kids so that billionaires could use the money they saved in taxes to take their rich friends on space trips. Because we actually live in that reality.
December 28, 2025 at 11:19 PM
I’ve spent the past week thinking about the fact that working poor people couldn’t afford Christmas presents for their kids so that billionaires could use the money they saved in taxes to take their rich friends on space trips. Because we actually live in that reality.