Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧
@tollytb.bsky.social
Bacon Buttie munching decrepid ex rugby player, older than pyramids planning application.Oval balls are harder to juggle.
He's always talked a load of bullocks.
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Robert Jenrick ensuring he has a personal and plentiful supply of bullshit.
November 19, 2025 at 8:47 AM
He's always talked a load of bullocks.
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Baby kangaroos are extremely lazy.
They're pouch potatoes.
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They're pouch potatoes.
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November 19, 2025 at 8:46 AM
Baby kangaroos are extremely lazy.
They're pouch potatoes.
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They're pouch potatoes.
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About 60% of people who've seen The Cure in concert, have seen Placebo and enjoyed it just as much.
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November 19, 2025 at 8:26 AM
About 60% of people who've seen The Cure in concert, have seen Placebo and enjoyed it just as much.
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I went to dinner with some friends last night and told a pizza joke.
It was cheesy, but everyone loved it.
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It was cheesy, but everyone loved it.
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November 19, 2025 at 8:12 AM
I went to dinner with some friends last night and told a pizza joke.
It was cheesy, but everyone loved it.
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It was cheesy, but everyone loved it.
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I've just told my girlfriend that Old Macdonalds farm is using artificial intelligence.
"AI?"
"AI."
"OH."
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"AI?"
"AI."
"OH."
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November 18, 2025 at 2:36 PM
I've just told my girlfriend that Old Macdonalds farm is using artificial intelligence.
"AI?"
"AI."
"OH."
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"AI?"
"AI."
"OH."
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My girlfriend just said, "Can you put the cat out?"
" I'm busy, the fire extinguisher is in the cupboard."
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" I'm busy, the fire extinguisher is in the cupboard."
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November 18, 2025 at 11:51 AM
My girlfriend just said, "Can you put the cat out?"
" I'm busy, the fire extinguisher is in the cupboard."
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" I'm busy, the fire extinguisher is in the cupboard."
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I was on the train yesterday and the conductor told me he had to charge me extra for telling dad jokes.
"That's not fare."
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"That's not fare."
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November 18, 2025 at 8:26 AM
I was on the train yesterday and the conductor told me he had to charge me extra for telling dad jokes.
"That's not fare."
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"That's not fare."
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Yesterday, I saw an advert for a double entendre competition, so I entered my mother-in-law.
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November 18, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Yesterday, I saw an advert for a double entendre competition, so I entered my mother-in-law.
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My girlfriend asked me to name all of my sexual partners in order.
I probably should have stopped at her name. Going through my phone contacts wasn't wise either.
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I probably should have stopped at her name. Going through my phone contacts wasn't wise either.
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November 18, 2025 at 7:54 AM
My girlfriend asked me to name all of my sexual partners in order.
I probably should have stopped at her name. Going through my phone contacts wasn't wise either.
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I probably should have stopped at her name. Going through my phone contacts wasn't wise either.
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Learning from the book he just bought:
The Art of the Grift, and Talking Bollox, by Donold Trump, and Nigel Fuhrage.
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The Art of the Grift, and Talking Bollox, by Donold Trump, and Nigel Fuhrage.
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November 17, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Learning from the book he just bought:
The Art of the Grift, and Talking Bollox, by Donold Trump, and Nigel Fuhrage.
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The Art of the Grift, and Talking Bollox, by Donold Trump, and Nigel Fuhrage.
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I'm hoping for some Brexit benefits for xmas.
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a bunch of colorful gift boxes with red ribbons
ALT: a bunch of colorful gift boxes with red ribbons
media.tenor.com
November 17, 2025 at 8:52 AM
I'm hoping for some Brexit benefits for xmas.
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My girlfriend told me that she doesn't understand cloning.
"That makes two of us."
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"That makes two of us."
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November 17, 2025 at 8:22 AM
My girlfriend told me that she doesn't understand cloning.
"That makes two of us."
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"That makes two of us."
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I've just been to the doctor's and noticed they have my blood type written down as B+.
I'm sure it's a type O
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I'm sure it's a type O
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November 17, 2025 at 8:18 AM
I've just been to the doctor's and noticed they have my blood type written down as B+.
I'm sure it's a type O
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I'm sure it's a type O
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Learnt the hard way 🙄
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November 16, 2025 at 11:05 AM
Learnt the hard way 🙄
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I've wrapped my girlfriend's xmas pressie.
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November 16, 2025 at 10:25 AM
I've wrapped my girlfriend's xmas pressie.
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I called the incontinence help line last night.
They put me on hold.
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They put me on hold.
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November 16, 2025 at 10:08 AM
I called the incontinence help line last night.
They put me on hold.
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They put me on hold.
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I've never met Epstein. That's why I'm only mentioned 18 times in the files.
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November 15, 2025 at 8:50 AM
I've never met Epstein. That's why I'm only mentioned 18 times in the files.
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November 15, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Once, when I was stranded in a desert, I saw three people off in the distance having sex.
It was a mirage a trois.
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It was a mirage a trois.
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November 15, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Once, when I was stranded in a desert, I saw three people off in the distance having sex.
It was a mirage a trois.
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It was a mirage a trois.
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