Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧
@tollytb.bsky.social
Bacon Buttie munching decrepid ex rugby player, older than pyramids planning application.Oval balls are harder to juggle.
Whilst kissing my girlfriend passionately as we sat on the sofa, she whispered, "Lets take this upstairs."
"Ok. You grab one end, and I'll get the other."
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"Ok. You grab one end, and I'll get the other."
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February 5, 2026 at 7:57 AM
Whilst kissing my girlfriend passionately as we sat on the sofa, she whispered, "Lets take this upstairs."
"Ok. You grab one end, and I'll get the other."
🐢💨
"Ok. You grab one end, and I'll get the other."
🐢💨
My neighbour fell into an upholstering machine at work a couple of weeks ago.
He's fully recovered now.
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He's fully recovered now.
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February 5, 2026 at 7:29 AM
My neighbour fell into an upholstering machine at work a couple of weeks ago.
He's fully recovered now.
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He's fully recovered now.
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The Master and his apprentice.
Fvck nose why anyone would believe a word they say.
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Fvck nose why anyone would believe a word they say.
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February 5, 2026 at 6:49 AM
The Master and his apprentice.
Fvck nose why anyone would believe a word they say.
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Fvck nose why anyone would believe a word they say.
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I sent an email to the CEO of Lego, but he didn't respond.
I'm pretty sure he blocked me.
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I'm pretty sure he blocked me.
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February 4, 2026 at 12:18 PM
I sent an email to the CEO of Lego, but he didn't respond.
I'm pretty sure he blocked me.
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I'm pretty sure he blocked me.
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Reform volunteers out canvassing for the Gobshite and Dipstick by-election.
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February 4, 2026 at 11:33 AM
Reform volunteers out canvassing for the Gobshite and Dipstick by-election.
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It seems like yesterday that Groundhog Day was released.
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February 4, 2026 at 11:05 AM
It seems like yesterday that Groundhog Day was released.
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Gil Scott Heron's masterpiece should be re-recorded, as it clearly will be televised.
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the revolution will not be televised is written on a tv screen
ALT: the revolution will not be televised is written on a tv screen
media.tenor.com
February 4, 2026 at 9:24 AM
Gil Scott Heron's masterpiece should be re-recorded, as it clearly will be televised.
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Said Patrick McGoohan.
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February 4, 2026 at 9:07 AM
Said Patrick McGoohan.
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People always appear surprised to find that my blood is orange, and not red.
I have carroted arteries.
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I have carroted arteries.
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February 4, 2026 at 8:59 AM
People always appear surprised to find that my blood is orange, and not red.
I have carroted arteries.
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I have carroted arteries.
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Leeberace canvassing outside Spoons for the Grifter and Dipshit by-election.
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February 4, 2026 at 8:47 AM
Leeberace canvassing outside Spoons for the Grifter and Dipshit by-election.
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That was The Reformers with 🎶 Vlad my Captain, Oh My Captain🎶
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February 4, 2026 at 8:31 AM
That was The Reformers with 🎶 Vlad my Captain, Oh My Captain🎶
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I keep seeing adverts, and news articles, about corduroy pillows.
They're really making headlines.
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They're really making headlines.
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February 4, 2026 at 8:18 AM
I keep seeing adverts, and news articles, about corduroy pillows.
They're really making headlines.
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They're really making headlines.
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I got charged extra just for telling dad jokes on the bus.
That's not fare.
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That's not fare.
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February 4, 2026 at 8:08 AM
I got charged extra just for telling dad jokes on the bus.
That's not fare.
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That's not fare.
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Reposted by Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧
I confessed my vacuuming addiction to my girlfriend last night while we were having sex.
It was such a relief to come clean.
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It was such a relief to come clean.
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February 3, 2026 at 2:59 PM
I confessed my vacuuming addiction to my girlfriend last night while we were having sex.
It was such a relief to come clean.
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It was such a relief to come clean.
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Reposted by Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧
That was the Mandelsons with Corruption Symphony.
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February 3, 2026 at 1:07 PM
That was the Mandelsons with Corruption Symphony.
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Reposted by Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧
Fun fact:
Jalapeños are terrible archers.
They don't habanero.
(Sorry, not sorry)
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Jalapeños are terrible archers.
They don't habanero.
(Sorry, not sorry)
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February 3, 2026 at 11:27 AM
Fun fact:
Jalapeños are terrible archers.
They don't habanero.
(Sorry, not sorry)
🐢💨
Jalapeños are terrible archers.
They don't habanero.
(Sorry, not sorry)
🐢💨
I confessed my vacuuming addiction to my girlfriend last night while we were having sex.
It was such a relief to come clean.
🐢💨
It was such a relief to come clean.
🐢💨
February 3, 2026 at 2:59 PM
I confessed my vacuuming addiction to my girlfriend last night while we were having sex.
It was such a relief to come clean.
🐢💨
It was such a relief to come clean.
🐢💨
That was the Mandelsons with Corruption Symphony.
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February 3, 2026 at 1:07 PM
That was the Mandelsons with Corruption Symphony.
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#PoliticsLive Danny Kruger is thicker than an Elephants foreskin.
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February 3, 2026 at 1:01 PM
#PoliticsLive Danny Kruger is thicker than an Elephants foreskin.
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Fun fact:
Jalapeños are terrible archers.
They don't habanero.
(Sorry, not sorry)
🐢💨
Jalapeños are terrible archers.
They don't habanero.
(Sorry, not sorry)
🐢💨
February 3, 2026 at 11:27 AM
Fun fact:
Jalapeños are terrible archers.
They don't habanero.
(Sorry, not sorry)
🐢💨
Jalapeños are terrible archers.
They don't habanero.
(Sorry, not sorry)
🐢💨
It's been a whole month since I joined the gym online, but I've lost no weight, and feel no fitter at all.
I'll probably have to go there in person tomorrow to find out what's going on.
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I'll probably have to go there in person tomorrow to find out what's going on.
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February 3, 2026 at 9:03 AM
It's been a whole month since I joined the gym online, but I've lost no weight, and feel no fitter at all.
I'll probably have to go there in person tomorrow to find out what's going on.
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I'll probably have to go there in person tomorrow to find out what's going on.
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My girlfriend just told me if this post receives 1000 likes I can get anal.
Please, please like, as I really enjoy my flat being spotlessly clean.
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Please, please like, as I really enjoy my flat being spotlessly clean.
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February 3, 2026 at 7:30 AM
My girlfriend just told me if this post receives 1000 likes I can get anal.
Please, please like, as I really enjoy my flat being spotlessly clean.
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Please, please like, as I really enjoy my flat being spotlessly clean.
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My doctor laughed as she told me I have a bladder infection.
I think she was just taking the piss.
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I think she was just taking the piss.
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February 3, 2026 at 7:28 AM
My doctor laughed as she told me I have a bladder infection.
I think she was just taking the piss.
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I think she was just taking the piss.
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Vampires and Gladys Knight are both Gladys Knight.
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February 3, 2026 at 7:28 AM
Vampires and Gladys Knight are both Gladys Knight.
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