girl chunks in brine
tofufailure.bsky.social
girl chunks in brine
@tofufailure.bsky.social
waaaaaaa
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Still waiting for the part of my bike mechanic training when they show me how to reinstall my foreskin
December 30, 2025 at 9:16 AM
being a bidet installer is just as good as being an electrologist since i would still be predominantly serving my community
December 30, 2025 at 9:14 AM
yeah it’s a fruit leather bra. i just tear off a little bit if i’m feeling peckish.
December 30, 2025 at 8:47 AM
i’d like the 12oz strawberry-bananna smoothie but uh.. heh.. make it a little chunky
December 30, 2025 at 3:41 AM
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December 25, 2025 at 11:24 PM
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when i look at the hugging emoji i imagine their legs too and theyre humping each other
🫂
November 26, 2025 at 9:43 PM
just found out that david foster wallace was not a tboy :-(
November 4, 2025 at 6:05 AM
(stunna boy voice) i got jalapeño on my dick i’m burning my dick right now
November 4, 2025 at 6:01 AM
i wonder if calvin from the park tool videos has boy nipples
October 22, 2025 at 6:21 PM
sighing and tearing off another “complimentary footjob” coupon from the perforated footjob coupon booklet to mail to the irate white woman who has been holding up the phone at the for-profit diy hrt service desk because we shipped her dog bone shaped prog suppositories instead of the cat paw ones
October 22, 2025 at 1:12 AM
bald and/or gay men are my real-life lolcows
October 19, 2025 at 4:58 PM
i don’t turn into a dog to cum, i turn into a dog so that i can pass off the liability to my ‘owner’ when i purposefully knock over an annoying, short bisexual man
October 18, 2025 at 9:49 PM
i love the seattle marinara baseball team. of course the man who hits the ball good has a saucy ass. i want to ride a trollybus to the stadium and walk through light misty rain without a coat. i don’t care if we lose
October 16, 2025 at 10:26 PM
grok, do a fourier analysis of that boob jiggle
October 16, 2025 at 6:31 PM
i call it laying pipe because i will let women who are plumbers fuck me. maybe in their work vans next to the pex fittings and basin wrenches
October 15, 2025 at 12:49 AM
if one of your roommates has trouble doing the dishes, maybe try telling her that the kitchen sink is like a bidet for her plates and bowls
October 15, 2025 at 12:37 AM
they tortured a lot of people in the catholic inquisitions to figure out if they had butt sex but if you did that today they’d probably cum
October 13, 2025 at 4:19 AM
they named the entire neighborhood ”edgewater” but i don’t think we should be encouraging that. someone might get a uti from the lake
October 10, 2025 at 5:47 PM
“slow neck head all the way down” is nothing compared to rocking stim head when i rock slowly and also all the way down
October 5, 2025 at 9:43 AM
there would be something poetic about my unreinforced masonry apartment collapsing in a massive earthquake and crushing me under the weight of all the bricks
October 5, 2025 at 9:33 AM
the third inning kidney stone, the second inning anal fissure, and, of course, the ill-fated first inning fisting scene followed by a high-oxalate snack that started it all
The seventh inning stretch, the sixth inning cardio, the fifth inning talk therapy, the fourth inning healthy eating habits
October 4, 2025 at 8:53 PM
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i’d eat the fuck outta shrek’s ovegrown tboy pussy
October 4, 2025 at 8:01 PM
soft rains wash dust off my feet,
long ago, far past, now to june.
mourn no tyrant sun, that regime of heat,
but that collar tan, which really slay’d poon.
October 3, 2025 at 5:47 AM
she calls you mommy (awooga), buuuut she’s a birdgirl and you’re about to eat dinner..
October 3, 2025 at 5:34 AM
of course we should destroy the usual things like cops and private property and suburbs and animal agriculture, but i also hope everyone knows that there will be no place for fake bisexuals
September 29, 2025 at 9:28 PM