The minivan punk
@theminivanpunk.bsky.social
Hey all. I’m not leaving twitter. I’ll make sure to get back here more often as I’ve grown fond of many of you, but I’m not gonna let those pieces of shit run me off. It may be a shithole, but it’s my shithole and I was there first.
January 27, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Hey all. I’m not leaving twitter. I’ll make sure to get back here more often as I’ve grown fond of many of you, but I’m not gonna let those pieces of shit run me off. It may be a shithole, but it’s my shithole and I was there first.
I’m alive. Mostly sleeping and working nights.
January 9, 2025 at 12:20 AM
I’m alive. Mostly sleeping and working nights.
Reposted by The minivan punk
Additional note: many military families are already on low-income nutritional support. Merry Christmas to the Troops from the GOP!
December 19, 2024 at 7:55 PM
Additional note: many military families are already on low-income nutritional support. Merry Christmas to the Troops from the GOP!
Reposted by The minivan punk
Reposted by The minivan punk
men will literally kill a healthcare ceo instead of going to therapy that they can't afford because it was out of network wait how does this meme go again?
December 18, 2024 at 3:46 PM
men will literally kill a healthcare ceo instead of going to therapy that they can't afford because it was out of network wait how does this meme go again?
Yo…my phone autocorrects to “tiddies” if I misspell it.
Dude, I’m so over this shit. I feel like for some fucked up cosmic reason, we don’t get to say “I’m done. I did my part.” I just want a swimming pool filled with baddies showing their tiddies and a badass house and smoke weed and drink good whiskey on my back porch. Is that too much to ask?
December 17, 2024 at 6:29 PM
Yo…my phone autocorrects to “tiddies” if I misspell it.
Reposted by The minivan punk
Explaining to my three year old that Elmo has to go away because he wasn't providing enough value to shareholders. My son turns to me and says "while I personally enjoy Sesame Street I understand that corporations must put their obligations to shareholders above consumer demands."
December 16, 2024 at 4:34 PM
Explaining to my three year old that Elmo has to go away because he wasn't providing enough value to shareholders. My son turns to me and says "while I personally enjoy Sesame Street I understand that corporations must put their obligations to shareholders above consumer demands."
Reposted by The minivan punk
Josh Shapiro called the McDonald’s employee who reported Luigi Mangione a “hero.”
She will NOT get the $10,000 reward money because she called 911 instead of the tip line.
By the way, Josh Shapiro got $15,000 in donations from United Healthcare last year.
Numbers are fun.
She will NOT get the $10,000 reward money because she called 911 instead of the tip line.
By the way, Josh Shapiro got $15,000 in donations from United Healthcare last year.
Numbers are fun.
December 16, 2024 at 12:41 AM
Josh Shapiro called the McDonald’s employee who reported Luigi Mangione a “hero.”
She will NOT get the $10,000 reward money because she called 911 instead of the tip line.
By the way, Josh Shapiro got $15,000 in donations from United Healthcare last year.
Numbers are fun.
She will NOT get the $10,000 reward money because she called 911 instead of the tip line.
By the way, Josh Shapiro got $15,000 in donations from United Healthcare last year.
Numbers are fun.
Reposted by The minivan punk
Explain this, humankind
December 15, 2024 at 1:38 PM
Explain this, humankind
Reposted by The minivan punk
Donald Trump is an adjudicated rapist. This is a fact. He was found liable for rape in civil court, and owes his victim more than eighty million dollars for both raping her, and then lying about raping her.
And stating these objective facts makes me braver than all of ABC News.
And stating these objective facts makes me braver than all of ABC News.
December 15, 2024 at 1:51 AM
Donald Trump is an adjudicated rapist. This is a fact. He was found liable for rape in civil court, and owes his victim more than eighty million dollars for both raping her, and then lying about raping her.
And stating these objective facts makes me braver than all of ABC News.
And stating these objective facts makes me braver than all of ABC News.
Naw. Bad people who gleefully vote for bad people to do bad things to other people they’ve deemed as others or non-human don’t deserve any kind of pity or empathy. Fuck them. What they deserve is to be set on fire in public so that everyone gets to see what happens when you’re a piece of shit.
December 14, 2024 at 6:59 PM
Naw. Bad people who gleefully vote for bad people to do bad things to other people they’ve deemed as others or non-human don’t deserve any kind of pity or empathy. Fuck them. What they deserve is to be set on fire in public so that everyone gets to see what happens when you’re a piece of shit.
Reposted by The minivan punk
Me: Dr. Salk your vaccine will save so many children!
Salk: Well thank God
Me: Of course they will grow up
Salk: Well I hope so
Me: And get old
Salk: I guess?
Me: And eventually vote for lunatics who will try to stop your vaccine
Salk: what now
Me: And leave NATO
Salk: shit
Salk: Well thank God
Me: Of course they will grow up
Salk: Well I hope so
Me: And get old
Salk: I guess?
Me: And eventually vote for lunatics who will try to stop your vaccine
Salk: what now
Me: And leave NATO
Salk: shit
December 13, 2024 at 5:33 PM
Me: Dr. Salk your vaccine will save so many children!
Salk: Well thank God
Me: Of course they will grow up
Salk: Well I hope so
Me: And get old
Salk: I guess?
Me: And eventually vote for lunatics who will try to stop your vaccine
Salk: what now
Me: And leave NATO
Salk: shit
Salk: Well thank God
Me: Of course they will grow up
Salk: Well I hope so
Me: And get old
Salk: I guess?
Me: And eventually vote for lunatics who will try to stop your vaccine
Salk: what now
Me: And leave NATO
Salk: shit
Look. I’m riding high into the weekend with two interviews lined up for next week. If someone whacks a CEO this weekend, I might get someone pregnant.
December 14, 2024 at 1:48 AM
Look. I’m riding high into the weekend with two interviews lined up for next week. If someone whacks a CEO this weekend, I might get someone pregnant.
Reposted by The minivan punk
I thought this was Brett Stephens.
Also…what a bad, horrible take this is.
Also…
Also…what a bad, horrible take this is.
Also…
December 13, 2024 at 1:43 PM
I thought this was Brett Stephens.
Also…what a bad, horrible take this is.
Also…
Also…what a bad, horrible take this is.
Also…
Reposted by The minivan punk
Reposted by The minivan punk
This is ridiculous! 👇
December 13, 2024 at 6:27 PM
This is ridiculous! 👇
Is this thing on?
*taps penis*
*taps penis*
December 12, 2024 at 3:22 AM
Is this thing on?
*taps penis*
*taps penis*
Me: Do I look like the kind of guy who’d take money for sex?
SH, w/ no hesitation: Yes
Me: Wow, that’s uh…you answered that really quick.
SH: Am I wrong?
Me: No, I just didn’t expect to be called a whore while eating my avocado toast.
SH, w/ no hesitation: Yes
Me: Wow, that’s uh…you answered that really quick.
SH: Am I wrong?
Me: No, I just didn’t expect to be called a whore while eating my avocado toast.
September 20, 2023 at 5:00 PM
Me: Do I look like the kind of guy who’d take money for sex?
SH, w/ no hesitation: Yes
Me: Wow, that’s uh…you answered that really quick.
SH: Am I wrong?
Me: No, I just didn’t expect to be called a whore while eating my avocado toast.
SH, w/ no hesitation: Yes
Me: Wow, that’s uh…you answered that really quick.
SH: Am I wrong?
Me: No, I just didn’t expect to be called a whore while eating my avocado toast.
My watch would like me to know that there is still time to close my exercise ring. I would like my watch to know that I’ve been shitting liquid today and to leave me alone.
September 10, 2023 at 12:58 AM
My watch would like me to know that there is still time to close my exercise ring. I would like my watch to know that I’ve been shitting liquid today and to leave me alone.
As much as I pay for electricity and internet, this shit better not even fucking flicker.
August 30, 2023 at 2:06 AM
As much as I pay for electricity and internet, this shit better not even fucking flicker.
Red hair, big tiddies, and talking to me about torture implements of the Middle Ages? I could be in love.
August 24, 2023 at 3:12 AM
Red hair, big tiddies, and talking to me about torture implements of the Middle Ages? I could be in love.
Seems a little too coincidental that the Secret Service’s initials are SS.
August 24, 2023 at 1:12 AM
Seems a little too coincidental that the Secret Service’s initials are SS.
Let dogs out, fill bowls, let dogs in because they want to eat, one promptly shits on the floor.
Like, the little terrorists already took up most of the bed last night and I slept like shit. The least you could do is not make me pick up your shit.
Like, the little terrorists already took up most of the bed last night and I slept like shit. The least you could do is not make me pick up your shit.
August 22, 2023 at 11:44 AM
Let dogs out, fill bowls, let dogs in because they want to eat, one promptly shits on the floor.
Like, the little terrorists already took up most of the bed last night and I slept like shit. The least you could do is not make me pick up your shit.
Like, the little terrorists already took up most of the bed last night and I slept like shit. The least you could do is not make me pick up your shit.