Stolitz Job Fair Week
@stolitzjobfair.bsky.social
🎨 Give Stolitz new jobs from April 12th-18th, 2026! ✍️
Fanweek encouraging Helluva fans to have fun and create Stolitz work, focusing on a wide variety of careers.
🔞 This event is 18+ only. Run by @birdpuss.bsky.social.
Fanweek encouraging Helluva fans to have fun and create Stolitz work, focusing on a wide variety of careers.
🔞 This event is 18+ only. Run by @birdpuss.bsky.social.
Pinned
Welcome to Stolitz Job Fair Week! It’s time to submit some résumés and put these two to work.
Are they an artist and writer collaborating? Two teachers falling in love from across the hallway? An astronaut doomed to never see his gamer boyfriend again? You get to choose!
More info below ⤵️
Are they an artist and writer collaborating? Two teachers falling in love from across the hallway? An astronaut doomed to never see his gamer boyfriend again? You get to choose!
More info below ⤵️
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
😈
I wanna see how their height difference makes trying to play Pickleball a challenge
Singles and Doubles
😈
I wanna see how their height difference makes trying to play Pickleball a challenge
Singles and Doubles
😈
🏀 Which sport would Blitz and/or Stolas thrive in? Do they work better as solo athletes or as part of a team?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
February 9, 2026 at 11:05 PM
😈
I wanna see how their height difference makes trying to play Pickleball a challenge
Singles and Doubles
😈
I wanna see how their height difference makes trying to play Pickleball a challenge
Singles and Doubles
😈
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
Baseball.
Blitzø as pitcher. Stolss as catcher.
*Bah-Dun-Tish*
Thank you, I'm here all week, try the fish!
Blitzø as pitcher. Stolss as catcher.
*Bah-Dun-Tish*
Thank you, I'm here all week, try the fish!
February 9, 2026 at 2:28 PM
Baseball.
Blitzø as pitcher. Stolss as catcher.
*Bah-Dun-Tish*
Thank you, I'm here all week, try the fish!
Blitzø as pitcher. Stolss as catcher.
*Bah-Dun-Tish*
Thank you, I'm here all week, try the fish!
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
The life smarts/general TV knowledge and stuff). I also think they would do well with some sort of rivalry going on as well, so probably fencing since Stolas' fancy upbringing would probably include some "refined" skill like that and Blitzø's agility and handle on himself.
February 9, 2026 at 2:04 PM
The life smarts/general TV knowledge and stuff). I also think they would do well with some sort of rivalry going on as well, so probably fencing since Stolas' fancy upbringing would probably include some "refined" skill like that and Blitzø's agility and handle on himself.
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
I have a couple of ideas! Blitzø would absolutely play some sort of contact sport (I don't want to say football but ya know), and cheerleader Stolas. But also--Stolas and Blitzø would do GREAT together doing some sort of academic response or trivia team (Stolas with the book smarts and Blitzø with
February 9, 2026 at 2:04 PM
I have a couple of ideas! Blitzø would absolutely play some sort of contact sport (I don't want to say football but ya know), and cheerleader Stolas. But also--Stolas and Blitzø would do GREAT together doing some sort of academic response or trivia team (Stolas with the book smarts and Blitzø with
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
Blitz definitely something like parkour or gymnastics, I can see him thriving in both solo or team work (both have their pros and cons). Stolas is harder to pinpoint but something low-contact like tenis or archery and definitely solo (though he wouldn't mind teaming up with a certain imp 👀)
🏀 Which sport would Blitz and/or Stolas thrive in? Do they work better as solo athletes or as part of a team?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
February 9, 2026 at 2:01 PM
Blitz definitely something like parkour or gymnastics, I can see him thriving in both solo or team work (both have their pros and cons). Stolas is harder to pinpoint but something low-contact like tenis or archery and definitely solo (though he wouldn't mind teaming up with a certain imp 👀)
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
my totally non-biased answer is figure skating 😌
they’d be singles skaters bc their height difference makes it near impossible to be in pairs/ice dance together lmao (not that it stops them from making it work on their own time)
they’d be singles skaters bc their height difference makes it near impossible to be in pairs/ice dance together lmao (not that it stops them from making it work on their own time)
🏀 Which sport would Blitz and/or Stolas thrive in? Do they work better as solo athletes or as part of a team?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
February 9, 2026 at 1:40 PM
my totally non-biased answer is figure skating 😌
they’d be singles skaters bc their height difference makes it near impossible to be in pairs/ice dance together lmao (not that it stops them from making it work on their own time)
they’d be singles skaters bc their height difference makes it near impossible to be in pairs/ice dance together lmao (not that it stops them from making it work on their own time)
🏀 Which sport would Blitz and/or Stolas thrive in? Do they work better as solo athletes or as part of a team?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
February 8, 2026 at 9:41 PM
🏀 Which sport would Blitz and/or Stolas thrive in? Do they work better as solo athletes or as part of a team?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
How do YOU plan to participate in this event?
Art, writing, cosplay, cross-stitching, something else? I can’t wait to see everyone’s creations! 🌱
Art, writing, cosplay, cross-stitching, something else? I can’t wait to see everyone’s creations! 🌱
February 4, 2026 at 8:08 PM
How do YOU plan to participate in this event?
Art, writing, cosplay, cross-stitching, something else? I can’t wait to see everyone’s creations! 🌱
Art, writing, cosplay, cross-stitching, something else? I can’t wait to see everyone’s creations! 🌱
🥕 What type of farmer-related roleplay do you think Stolitz have gotten up to before?
Cattle play? Showing up in a whole beekeeper suit? Awful dirty talk like, “Sow your seed and harvest my crops”? The possibilities are endless with those two!
#StolitzJobFairAsk #NSFW
Cattle play? Showing up in a whole beekeeper suit? Awful dirty talk like, “Sow your seed and harvest my crops”? The possibilities are endless with those two!
#StolitzJobFairAsk #NSFW
January 27, 2026 at 3:38 AM
🥕 What type of farmer-related roleplay do you think Stolitz have gotten up to before?
Cattle play? Showing up in a whole beekeeper suit? Awful dirty talk like, “Sow your seed and harvest my crops”? The possibilities are endless with those two!
#StolitzJobFairAsk #NSFW
Cattle play? Showing up in a whole beekeeper suit? Awful dirty talk like, “Sow your seed and harvest my crops”? The possibilities are endless with those two!
#StolitzJobFairAsk #NSFW
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
Blitz has at least 4 different horse games and follows different hellhorse farms accounts on the hell version of tiktok. Stolas downloaded 50 erotic romance novels on his phone and gets annoyed when a client interrupts his reading (he always reads the same 3 because they’re his favorites)
January 18, 2026 at 2:33 PM
Blitz has at least 4 different horse games and follows different hellhorse farms accounts on the hell version of tiktok. Stolas downloaded 50 erotic romance novels on his phone and gets annoyed when a client interrupts his reading (he always reads the same 3 because they’re his favorites)
🛒 Pick a store you’d want to see Blitz and/or Stolas suffer at! What do they do to pass the time there when work is slow?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
January 18, 2026 at 2:25 PM
🛒 Pick a store you’d want to see Blitz and/or Stolas suffer at! What do they do to pass the time there when work is slow?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
(also I can totally see Blitz teaching self-defense but that's not a school subject sadly) (or hear me out: home economics)
January 12, 2026 at 4:37 PM
(also I can totally see Blitz teaching self-defense but that's not a school subject sadly) (or hear me out: home economics)
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
Blitz I can see teaching art, mostly teens, because with kids it would be too messy and wild, and he wouldn't have enough patience with adults lol
Stolas botany, astrology or literature, I can see him doing university but I think he would be happier teaching kids imo
Stolas botany, astrology or literature, I can see him doing university but I think he would be happier teaching kids imo
January 12, 2026 at 4:34 PM
Blitz I can see teaching art, mostly teens, because with kids it would be too messy and wild, and he wouldn't have enough patience with adults lol
Stolas botany, astrology or literature, I can see him doing university but I think he would be happier teaching kids imo
Stolas botany, astrology or literature, I can see him doing university but I think he would be happier teaching kids imo
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
Stolas: College level English, Astro-Physics, Botany, or Theater.
Blitzø: High School Sex Ed, but he's tactless, and gets a lot of complaints! 🤣 And/Or Acting Improv classes.
Blitzø: High School Sex Ed, but he's tactless, and gets a lot of complaints! 🤣 And/Or Acting Improv classes.
January 12, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Stolas: College level English, Astro-Physics, Botany, or Theater.
Blitzø: High School Sex Ed, but he's tactless, and gets a lot of complaints! 🤣 And/Or Acting Improv classes.
Blitzø: High School Sex Ed, but he's tactless, and gets a lot of complaints! 🤣 And/Or Acting Improv classes.
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
Blitz can be a Gym teacher for high schoolers and that's about it. 😭
January 12, 2026 at 2:54 PM
Blitz can be a Gym teacher for high schoolers and that's about it. 😭
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
As much as I think Blitz would actually be good with small kids, you absolutely CANNOT put him in charge of 30 elementary age kids. There would be a new incident every day and it's a roll of the dice whether a parent reported him, there's been a small uprising, or he threatened an 8 year old
January 12, 2026 at 2:53 PM
As much as I think Blitz would actually be good with small kids, you absolutely CANNOT put him in charge of 30 elementary age kids. There would be a new incident every day and it's a roll of the dice whether a parent reported him, there's been a small uprising, or he threatened an 8 year old
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
📓 What subjects would Blitz and Stolas teach at school? And what age range would they each be in charge of — kids, teens, university adults?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
January 12, 2026 at 12:10 AM
📓 What subjects would Blitz and Stolas teach at school? And what age range would they each be in charge of — kids, teens, university adults?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
I could see Stolas teaching a lot of subjects, but either small kids or college/grad students who want to be there, he wouldn't be able to handle mid/high school. Blitz would be a middle school art teacher cuz he has an interest and I think he's got enough backbone to deal with that age range.
January 12, 2026 at 3:35 AM
I could see Stolas teaching a lot of subjects, but either small kids or college/grad students who want to be there, he wouldn't be able to handle mid/high school. Blitz would be a middle school art teacher cuz he has an interest and I think he's got enough backbone to deal with that age range.
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
I can imagine Stolas teaching music to kindergarteners or slightly older young kids. He's so gentle and has a great voice, I think he'd be a favorite teacher.
Blitz? Performing arts at a college/university. He'd put his circus skills to use and have fun screwing around on stage with his students. 💖
Blitz? Performing arts at a college/university. He'd put his circus skills to use and have fun screwing around on stage with his students. 💖
📓 What subjects would Blitz and Stolas teach at school? And what age range would they each be in charge of — kids, teens, university adults?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
January 12, 2026 at 12:55 AM
I can imagine Stolas teaching music to kindergarteners or slightly older young kids. He's so gentle and has a great voice, I think he'd be a favorite teacher.
Blitz? Performing arts at a college/university. He'd put his circus skills to use and have fun screwing around on stage with his students. 💖
Blitz? Performing arts at a college/university. He'd put his circus skills to use and have fun screwing around on stage with his students. 💖
📓 What subjects would Blitz and Stolas teach at school? And what age range would they each be in charge of — kids, teens, university adults?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
January 12, 2026 at 12:10 AM
📓 What subjects would Blitz and Stolas teach at school? And what age range would they each be in charge of — kids, teens, university adults?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
blitz bullshits his way through and somehow manages to convince the judge of his client’s innocence even though they totally did it
stolas lays all the actual facts out but somehow lands himself with a sentence right alongside his client for being too cunty (this is hell, don’t question the logic)
stolas lays all the actual facts out but somehow lands himself with a sentence right alongside his client for being too cunty (this is hell, don’t question the logic)
📇 How would Blitz and/or Stolas fare as your lawyer in court? Are you walking away as a free person?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
January 5, 2026 at 3:14 PM
blitz bullshits his way through and somehow manages to convince the judge of his client’s innocence even though they totally did it
stolas lays all the actual facts out but somehow lands himself with a sentence right alongside his client for being too cunty (this is hell, don’t question the logic)
stolas lays all the actual facts out but somehow lands himself with a sentence right alongside his client for being too cunty (this is hell, don’t question the logic)
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
given how mastermind went, I have a feeling we're all getting convicted of a completely different crime from what got me on the block in the first place.
📇 How would Blitz and/or Stolas fare as your lawyer in court? Are you walking away as a free person?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
January 5, 2026 at 5:27 PM
given how mastermind went, I have a feeling we're all getting convicted of a completely different crime from what got me on the block in the first place.
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
however, both of them together: blitz's team does thorough research, may or may not do some extra-legal work to solidify your case, stolas argues it flawlessly, and you're free
until they start fucking in the courtroom and lose their license + are charged w public indecency. you're still free tho
until they start fucking in the courtroom and lose their license + are charged w public indecency. you're still free tho
January 5, 2026 at 5:13 PM
however, both of them together: blitz's team does thorough research, may or may not do some extra-legal work to solidify your case, stolas argues it flawlessly, and you're free
until they start fucking in the courtroom and lose their license + are charged w public indecency. you're still free tho
until they start fucking in the courtroom and lose their license + are charged w public indecency. you're still free tho
Reposted by Stolitz Job Fair Week
Stolas goes on a long, rambling, personal anecdote that would totally win over a judge if it actually had anything to do with your case, but alas, it does not. convicted
blitz has a solid case but argues it poorly and is easily provoked by the opposition, who he threatens w violence. also convicted
blitz has a solid case but argues it poorly and is easily provoked by the opposition, who he threatens w violence. also convicted
📇 How would Blitz and/or Stolas fare as your lawyer in court? Are you walking away as a free person?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
January 5, 2026 at 5:09 PM
Stolas goes on a long, rambling, personal anecdote that would totally win over a judge if it actually had anything to do with your case, but alas, it does not. convicted
blitz has a solid case but argues it poorly and is easily provoked by the opposition, who he threatens w violence. also convicted
blitz has a solid case but argues it poorly and is easily provoked by the opposition, who he threatens w violence. also convicted
📇 How would Blitz and/or Stolas fare as your lawyer in court? Are you walking away as a free person?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk
January 5, 2026 at 3:10 PM
📇 How would Blitz and/or Stolas fare as your lawyer in court? Are you walking away as a free person?
#StolitzJobFairAsk
#StolitzJobFairAsk