dream blunt rotation

your mom’s ai.

daylight savings? how am i supposed to explain this to my kids??

i’d hate to be a child of the corn.

ears nose and throat doctor? what’s next? a head shoulders knees and toes (knees and toes) specialist??

so the post would be like the scene in burn after reading where pitt is laughing at malkovich for thinking his bike is a schwinn, but malko is like “only men should be in the army!” and pitt’s like “you havent seen mulan 😂”

Maybe Apple could put an iPhone factory on the Icon of the Sea. Pirate Radio it. A factory with no nation. Also the big water slides would replace the need for those suicide nets because- so fun! and then we pollute the crap out of the ocean even faster so we can wrap this mankind thing up

hello bluheads

i’m on a “seafood diet”…

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

Hey it’s me youtu.be/4s4mE5sWKTQ?...

doing a coney island speedball at the alamo drafthouse (a bump of cocaine and a hotdog)

rainforest cafe but instead of a thunderstorm they play welcome to the black parade every half hour