Stephen Herdman
@stephenherdman.bsky.social
Makes stupid jokes, rides a motorbike around Ireland and takes photos of it, but mostly just pottering around through life. Follow me, I'm malicious.
I hate when you are sitting comfortably until someone pulls a cushion out from underneath you and suddenly your life feels so empty.
September 2, 2025 at 7:18 PM
I hate when you are sitting comfortably until someone pulls a cushion out from underneath you and suddenly your life feels so empty.
I honestly thought Sunday drivers was just a joke. But every single Sunday I get stuck behind some eejits doing 20mph under the speed limit on the overtaking lane of a dual carriageway. Then they have the audacity to flash the glaucoma eye at me when I eventually undertake them.
August 31, 2025 at 6:41 PM
I honestly thought Sunday drivers was just a joke. But every single Sunday I get stuck behind some eejits doing 20mph under the speed limit on the overtaking lane of a dual carriageway. Then they have the audacity to flash the glaucoma eye at me when I eventually undertake them.
*Pops head back in* yer man croak it yet?
August 30, 2025 at 6:05 PM
*Pops head back in* yer man croak it yet?
Based on Trump’s latest post, the Mrs wants me to start digging a bunker in the back garden. She doesn’t know it’s heavy clay soil. Personally, I’d rather be vaporised in a nuclear blast than try to dig through that nonsense.
August 1, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Based on Trump’s latest post, the Mrs wants me to start digging a bunker in the back garden. She doesn’t know it’s heavy clay soil. Personally, I’d rather be vaporised in a nuclear blast than try to dig through that nonsense.
Doctors are a complete scam these days. £800 to remove a skin tag!? Piss away off mate, it's a bit of skin, not my fucking leg.
July 20, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Doctors are a complete scam these days. £800 to remove a skin tag!? Piss away off mate, it's a bit of skin, not my fucking leg.
The fragile treaty between me and the wasp nation is no more. After a brazen strike on my son, I am left with no choice but to declare total war. Any wasp breaching our borders will be met with fire, fury, and a flip-flop. No mercy. No survivors. 🐝🔥🩴
July 15, 2025 at 5:19 PM
The fragile treaty between me and the wasp nation is no more. After a brazen strike on my son, I am left with no choice but to declare total war. Any wasp breaching our borders will be met with fire, fury, and a flip-flop. No mercy. No survivors. 🐝🔥🩴
What in the American bullshittery is this!?
July 6, 2025 at 9:23 PM
What in the American bullshittery is this!?
Enjoyed my few days away on the motorbike, but glad to get back to this big lump.
July 3, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Enjoyed my few days away on the motorbike, but glad to get back to this big lump.
Turns out I'm a crack shot, even 5 pints deep. Centre mass is for wimps. Headshots only.
June 30, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Turns out I'm a crack shot, even 5 pints deep. Centre mass is for wimps. Headshots only.
I hate being the second best looking boy in my house now.
June 26, 2025 at 10:15 PM
I hate being the second best looking boy in my house now.
Careful in and around Belfast folks. Caught this guy trying to steal my car. Possibly Polish, suspected to be part of a splinter group, unfortunately made a clean getaway. Police are doing a sweep. Stay safe.
June 20, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Careful in and around Belfast folks. Caught this guy trying to steal my car. Possibly Polish, suspected to be part of a splinter group, unfortunately made a clean getaway. Police are doing a sweep. Stay safe.
I have to do a presentation for my master tomorrow morning. So if world war 3 starts overnight it'll be a bloody blessing.
June 18, 2025 at 10:21 PM
I have to do a presentation for my master tomorrow morning. So if world war 3 starts overnight it'll be a bloody blessing.
You’ve heard of the Peter Principle, where people rise to their level of own incompetence.
But I give you: The Peter Out Principle - Where everyone gets promoted to the point where they can just no longer be arsed.
But I give you: The Peter Out Principle - Where everyone gets promoted to the point where they can just no longer be arsed.
June 17, 2025 at 6:47 AM
You’ve heard of the Peter Principle, where people rise to their level of own incompetence.
But I give you: The Peter Out Principle - Where everyone gets promoted to the point where they can just no longer be arsed.
But I give you: The Peter Out Principle - Where everyone gets promoted to the point where they can just no longer be arsed.
Absolutely love forwarding emails and adding simply: "FYI" - pure corporate speak for 'I can't be arsed explaining this but if you ignore it, that’s on you.'
June 12, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Absolutely love forwarding emails and adding simply: "FYI" - pure corporate speak for 'I can't be arsed explaining this but if you ignore it, that’s on you.'
You may be wondering why I needed an anvil. Well I have a roadrunner problem and my painting skills aren't great.
What the weirdest present anyone ever got you? My mate just got me an anvil 😂
June 9, 2025 at 8:46 PM
You may be wondering why I needed an anvil. Well I have a roadrunner problem and my painting skills aren't great.
What the weirdest present anyone ever got you? My mate just got me an anvil 😂
June 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
What the weirdest present anyone ever got you? My mate just got me an anvil 😂
The Venn diagram of ‘Bargain Hunt expert’ and ‘international sanctions breaching’ has officially overlapped. What a time to be alive.
June 6, 2025 at 8:25 PM
The Venn diagram of ‘Bargain Hunt expert’ and ‘international sanctions breaching’ has officially overlapped. What a time to be alive.
My Da just told me he was struggling to find a local archery club to join. I told him I'd pull a few strings.
May 29, 2025 at 6:52 PM
My Da just told me he was struggling to find a local archery club to join. I told him I'd pull a few strings.
The Mrs was talking to me about Mounjaro and I honestly thought it was a National Trust estate.
May 29, 2025 at 6:27 PM
The Mrs was talking to me about Mounjaro and I honestly thought it was a National Trust estate.
The first poppy of the season. Not much of a looker but I couldn't care less. Always a joy for zero effort.
May 12, 2025 at 9:47 PM
The first poppy of the season. Not much of a looker but I couldn't care less. Always a joy for zero effort.
Not a bad way to spend the lunch break.
May 12, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Not a bad way to spend the lunch break.
Will fix roofs for beer.
May 10, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Will fix roofs for beer.
"You're 40 what would make you want to play DnD!?"
May 8, 2025 at 6:36 PM
"You're 40 what would make you want to play DnD!?"
New pope is 69!? I ride a motorbike, that lad is gonna outlive me.
May 8, 2025 at 6:22 PM
New pope is 69!? I ride a motorbike, that lad is gonna outlive me.
Sins forgiven, thirst quenched.
May 8, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Sins forgiven, thirst quenched.