Snek
@snek.thatpagethere.com
Portlander, but sworn to take the secret of WHICH Portland to my grave
Pinned
Snek
@snek.thatpagethere.com
· May 4
DAUGHTER: how do walnuts get that brain shape?
ME: well, in a nutshell...
DAUGHTER: being born to you was my greatest error
ME: well, in a nutshell...
DAUGHTER: being born to you was my greatest error
anybody ever tried "bread"? I think it's some kind of potato substitute? I had some the other day and it wasn't that bad
November 19, 2025 at 6:13 PM
anybody ever tried "bread"? I think it's some kind of potato substitute? I had some the other day and it wasn't that bad
Reposted by Snek
ME: i just saw a girl sitting on a tuffet eating curds
WIFE: no way
ME: no just curds
WIFE: no way
ME: no just curds
November 18, 2025 at 4:26 PM
ME: i just saw a girl sitting on a tuffet eating curds
WIFE: no way
ME: no just curds
WIFE: no way
ME: no just curds
possible i'm a compulsive saver
October 23, 2025 at 8:26 PM
possible i'm a compulsive saver
i've been off of bluesky for a long while because having a live feed of the state of the world became too painful, but as i speak i'm sitting through a new recurring all-hands departmental meeting at work, and suddenly bluesky doesn't seem so bad
October 22, 2025 at 2:57 PM
i've been off of bluesky for a long while because having a live feed of the state of the world became too painful, but as i speak i'm sitting through a new recurring all-hands departmental meeting at work, and suddenly bluesky doesn't seem so bad
is your ios or android program suffering from unsightly eczema or painful burns? our clinic can help, you just need an app ointment
June 29, 2025 at 11:20 PM
is your ios or android program suffering from unsightly eczema or painful burns? our clinic can help, you just need an app ointment
so awesome that nyc democrats didn't vote for the guy widely known to be a piece of shit! Assuming zohran wins the general election, the city 100% deserves to revel in its short break before (if history of NYC mayors is any guide) he also turns out to be a piece of shit
June 25, 2025 at 3:17 AM
so awesome that nyc democrats didn't vote for the guy widely known to be a piece of shit! Assuming zohran wins the general election, the city 100% deserves to revel in its short break before (if history of NYC mayors is any guide) he also turns out to be a piece of shit
if they are going to target ads to people who watch rock climbing videos, maybe they should consult a rock climber? (extra crazy points for insane help-someone-behind-you-on-the-bouldering-wall lady wearing a harness)
June 20, 2025 at 3:41 PM
if they are going to target ads to people who watch rock climbing videos, maybe they should consult a rock climber? (extra crazy points for insane help-someone-behind-you-on-the-bouldering-wall lady wearing a harness)
should public transit be free? i'm not sure but i think this question should be asked in the same breath as "should roads for private cars be free?"
June 19, 2025 at 4:09 PM
should public transit be free? i'm not sure but i think this question should be asked in the same breath as "should roads for private cars be free?"
billy joel has such beautiful symmetry to his productive career years: he famously dislikes "piano man", and every other human on earth famously dislikes "we didn't start the fire"
June 19, 2025 at 4:04 PM
billy joel has such beautiful symmetry to his productive career years: he famously dislikes "piano man", and every other human on earth famously dislikes "we didn't start the fire"
they are called "pancakes" because they are cooked in pans, but all cakes are cooked in pans
June 14, 2025 at 2:47 PM
they are called "pancakes" because they are cooked in pans, but all cakes are cooked in pans
i actually think it's possible that a lot of people who were famous for work in the 1950s or 1960s might end up dying
June 11, 2025 at 10:19 PM
i actually think it's possible that a lot of people who were famous for work in the 1950s or 1960s might end up dying
in spanish-speaking countries there are 6.02 x 10^23 avocados per lawyer
June 9, 2025 at 12:14 AM
in spanish-speaking countries there are 6.02 x 10^23 avocados per lawyer
everybody has a hungry heart and i've got hungry eyes and now my heart and my eyes are fighting over the leftover meatloaf
June 7, 2025 at 3:14 PM
everybody has a hungry heart and i've got hungry eyes and now my heart and my eyes are fighting over the leftover meatloaf
it's all so reminiscent of the immortal Lincoln-Douglas ragetweets
June 5, 2025 at 10:23 PM
it's all so reminiscent of the immortal Lincoln-Douglas ragetweets
did you the negative space in the fedex logo hides a secret arrow? highlighted in yellow here:
June 5, 2025 at 9:48 PM
did you the negative space in the fedex logo hides a secret arrow? highlighted in yellow here:
(A devil approaches after my first 111 years in hell)
DEVIL: OK, contrary to what you may have heard, your torment isn't necessarily eternal. It's time to re-evaluate and see if you've learned anything. The format will be just like a corporate job interview from Earth.
ME: um I'm good here thanks
DEVIL: OK, contrary to what you may have heard, your torment isn't necessarily eternal. It's time to re-evaluate and see if you've learned anything. The format will be just like a corporate job interview from Earth.
ME: um I'm good here thanks
June 2, 2025 at 3:50 PM
(A devil approaches after my first 111 years in hell)
DEVIL: OK, contrary to what you may have heard, your torment isn't necessarily eternal. It's time to re-evaluate and see if you've learned anything. The format will be just like a corporate job interview from Earth.
ME: um I'm good here thanks
DEVIL: OK, contrary to what you may have heard, your torment isn't necessarily eternal. It's time to re-evaluate and see if you've learned anything. The format will be just like a corporate job interview from Earth.
ME: um I'm good here thanks
i could never be a vegetarian, it would make me so uncomfortable knowing i was still made of meat
June 1, 2025 at 1:07 AM
i could never be a vegetarian, it would make me so uncomfortable knowing i was still made of meat
nothing tickles me more than when christians -- quite correctly in their deranged view of an all-rewards afterlife -- tell you you should look forward to dying
May 31, 2025 at 11:35 PM
nothing tickles me more than when christians -- quite correctly in their deranged view of an all-rewards afterlife -- tell you you should look forward to dying
look i'm not saying this is necessarily bad, just too complicated for home use
May 30, 2025 at 6:23 PM
look i'm not saying this is necessarily bad, just too complicated for home use
heading down to the cornier store to find some dumber jokes
May 27, 2025 at 2:04 AM
heading down to the cornier store to find some dumber jokes
if bluesky is dying then i call dibs on eating its liver to absorb its sacred essence and transcending our mortal plane
May 27, 2025 at 2:00 AM
if bluesky is dying then i call dibs on eating its liver to absorb its sacred essence and transcending our mortal plane
for sale, one pair baby diapers, worn once
May 27, 2025 at 1:33 AM
for sale, one pair baby diapers, worn once
dry wine? canada dry ginger ale? what are these, just powders?
May 24, 2025 at 6:11 PM
dry wine? canada dry ginger ale? what are these, just powders?