Slurm Shandy
@slurmshandy.bsky.social
I love it when you call me Big Pharma
“how long have you been 17?”
“a while”
“a while”
November 21, 2025 at 11:43 PM
“how long have you been 17?”
“a while”
“a while”
game recognize game
November 14, 2025 at 1:56 PM
game recognize game
fellas, if your girl is:
✅ featherless
✅ bipedal
then that’s not your girl -
that’s a man
✅ featherless
✅ bipedal
then that’s not your girl -
that’s a man
October 8, 2025 at 3:56 PM
fellas, if your girl is:
✅ featherless
✅ bipedal
then that’s not your girl -
that’s a man
✅ featherless
✅ bipedal
then that’s not your girl -
that’s a man
Sméagol: what’s “taters” precious
Beastie Boys:
PO
TAY
TOES
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick your dick in ‘em
Beastie Boys:
PO
TAY
TOES
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick your dick in ‘em
September 24, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Sméagol: what’s “taters” precious
Beastie Boys:
PO
TAY
TOES
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick your dick in ‘em
Beastie Boys:
PO
TAY
TOES
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick your dick in ‘em
Rest now, brother. We have the watch, and I will see you in Valhalla
September 16, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Rest now, brother. We have the watch, and I will see you in Valhalla
Reposted by Slurm Shandy
And now, an executive order that calls for the involuntary institutionalization of the homeless and mentally ill without due process or clear release criteria. www.whitehouse.gov/presidential...
Ending Crime and Disorder on America's Streets
By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered: Section 1. Purpose and
www.whitehouse.gov
July 24, 2025 at 8:47 PM
And now, an executive order that calls for the involuntary institutionalization of the homeless and mentally ill without due process or clear release criteria. www.whitehouse.gov/presidential...
rip iron sheik, you would’ve loved hulk hogan dying
July 24, 2025 at 5:25 PM
rip iron sheik, you would’ve loved hulk hogan dying
🎶 IF YOU LIKE COLA PIÑATAS 🎶
June 8, 2025 at 10:26 PM
🎶 IF YOU LIKE COLA PIÑATAS 🎶
Deez aren’t the nuts you’re looking for 👋🏻
June 5, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Deez aren’t the nuts you’re looking for 👋🏻
When the throuple buying you lizards at the lizard store starts giving you this look
February 17, 2025 at 9:44 PM
When the throuple buying you lizards at the lizard store starts giving you this look
Reposted by Slurm Shandy
Reposted by Slurm Shandy
genuinely baffling to me that you can talk to any “anti-woke” person and not understand their goals. how can you be tricked by them! genuinely mind boggling, average american brain
February 2, 2025 at 5:06 PM
genuinely baffling to me that you can talk to any “anti-woke” person and not understand their goals. how can you be tricked by them! genuinely mind boggling, average american brain
Reposted by Slurm Shandy
hey so @schumer.senate.gov this is the sort of thing you should be focused on instead of tweeting dumb shit about the super bowl
February 2, 2025 at 8:38 PM
hey so @schumer.senate.gov this is the sort of thing you should be focused on instead of tweeting dumb shit about the super bowl
Farting out the nut of heartache,
bang bang
I am the warrior
bang bang
I am the warrior
December 20, 2024 at 2:43 AM
Farting out the nut of heartache,
bang bang
I am the warrior
bang bang
I am the warrior
Reposted by Slurm Shandy
I'm a moderate on the issue of cars, I don't think they should be banned but I do think they should all be this. Now I know what you're thinking: what if I need to go fast or need more space? That's just too bad
December 14, 2024 at 1:25 AM
I'm a moderate on the issue of cars, I don't think they should be banned but I do think they should all be this. Now I know what you're thinking: what if I need to go fast or need more space? That's just too bad
Reposted by Slurm Shandy
Worst crimes committed by each world leader:
Netanyahu - genocide
Biden - genocide, old
Trudeau - genocide, blackface
Putin - gay
Starmer - genocide, annoying
Netanyahu - genocide
Biden - genocide, old
Trudeau - genocide, blackface
Putin - gay
Starmer - genocide, annoying
December 7, 2024 at 5:36 PM
Worst crimes committed by each world leader:
Netanyahu - genocide
Biden - genocide, old
Trudeau - genocide, blackface
Putin - gay
Starmer - genocide, annoying
Netanyahu - genocide
Biden - genocide, old
Trudeau - genocide, blackface
Putin - gay
Starmer - genocide, annoying
I’m not like other guys.
I *only* wash my legs
I *only* wash my legs
December 5, 2024 at 2:18 AM
I’m not like other guys.
I *only* wash my legs
I *only* wash my legs
Oh, it was a banner fuckin year at the old Magritte family. I got a picture of a pipe. The old man grabbed me and said, “Hey, smoke up, Jean!” but I couldn’t, of course, because a representation is not the object itself
December 4, 2024 at 10:33 PM
Oh, it was a banner fuckin year at the old Magritte family. I got a picture of a pipe. The old man grabbed me and said, “Hey, smoke up, Jean!” but I couldn’t, of course, because a representation is not the object itself
Reposted by Slurm Shandy
Today the United Healthcare CEO gunned down in NYC in broad daylight.
Every single customer of United Healthcare is currently considered a suspect.
Every single customer of United Healthcare is currently considered a suspect.
December 4, 2024 at 5:23 PM
Today the United Healthcare CEO gunned down in NYC in broad daylight.
Every single customer of United Healthcare is currently considered a suspect.
Every single customer of United Healthcare is currently considered a suspect.
December 2, 2024 at 7:53 PM
RFK Jr. jokes are just beating a dead horse at this point, but what do you think RFK Jr. would do if he found a dead horse
September 22, 2024 at 6:32 PM
RFK Jr. jokes are just beating a dead horse at this point, but what do you think RFK Jr. would do if he found a dead horse
Hi, can I get a large cheese pizza, regular crust, with possum on half?
May 25, 2024 at 6:40 PM
Hi, can I get a large cheese pizza, regular crust, with possum on half?
exiting the toilet stall while the automatic flush goes off behind me
May 4, 2024 at 2:02 AM
exiting the toilet stall while the automatic flush goes off behind me
behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “she’s not my special lady; I’m just helping her conceive, man”
April 29, 2024 at 1:13 AM
behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “she’s not my special lady; I’m just helping her conceive, man”