Simon Hampel
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simon.hampel.au
Simon Hampel
@simon.hampel.au
▪️Founder of @propertychat.com.au and @zoochat.com
▪️Software developer: PHP, Laravel, XenForo
▪️Lives in Sydney, Australia 🇦🇺
Sydney
October 17, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Family phone usage for September:

Me (Gen-X): 61 mins talk time / 2 text messages
Wife (Gen-X): 315 mins / 11 messages
17yo son (Gen-Z): 517 mins / 1 message
14yo daughter (Gen-α): 15 mins / 48 messages

... Gen-α don't know how to use phones - it's all text messaging and text chat.
October 5, 2025 at 3:44 AM
I've been reading The Complete Robot - a collection of short stories by Asimov written between 1940 and 1977 - they are probably more relevant today than they've ever been, both from a pure robotics perspective, but also from an AI perspective. Really interesting considering when they were written.
August 8, 2025 at 11:29 AM
We had someone post adverts for beef products for pet food on @zoochat.com - an actual person not a bot which I call "meat spam" (vs "bot spam")

So we had a meat spammer posting spam about meat - but advertising genuine beef products, so there was no actual spam in the meat spammer's meat spam!
April 6, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Reposted by Simon Hampel
And then Jesus turned to his disciples and said:
“One of you will betray me in the group chat”
“Not I my Lord!” they all cried, except for the one journalist that someone had inadvertently invited
March 25, 2025 at 6:36 AM
Made the mistake of upgrading to @camtasia.com v25.0.0 and the editor user interface is so sluggish, it is almost unusable - even on my 12 core machine with 64GB of RAM. Re-installed Camtasia 24.1.5 and the editor is very responsive as expected. Don't upgrade!
March 23, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Reposted by Simon Hampel
.bathroom {
width: fit-content;
}

#memes #CSS
February 18, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Kudos to the devs at Woolworths - on multiple occasions over the years I have given feedback on functionality of the online shopping experience and each time they have implemented my suggestions within a month or two, including most recently reverting a change. Thanks devs - much appreciated!
February 4, 2025 at 9:16 AM
So I finished Satisfactory - apparently only 3.3% of players have achieved this. What next? Try and finish all of the other achievements? Work on refining my factory design some more? Go and play Factorio: Space Age, which I haven't started yet?
January 31, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Reposted by Simon Hampel
This is such cool analysis of PIN in @haveibeenpwned.com's Pwned Passwords. Scroll through the page and watch the heat map change alongside the explanations of how people are creating (somewhat) predictable PINs: www.abc.net.au/news/2025-01...
Is your PIN code among the first ones hackers are likely to try?
The ABC analysed 29 million stolen codes to help you avoid using an insecure one.
www.abc.net.au
January 27, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Does anyone still use Akismet? Is there a better way of managing comment spam these days?
January 24, 2025 at 1:06 AM
For those people who use Gmail for personal email and have their own email domain name - how do you have things configured? Inbound forwarding is pretty easy - just wondering how people are sending emails from Gmail using their own domain name as the "Send mail as" ?
January 22, 2025 at 7:16 AM
It's happened to us all at some point.
In 2024, an Italian burglar became engrossed in a book that he picked up mid-burglary. He was caught before he finished it.
January 19, 2025 at 9:48 PM
*sigh* one of my Unraid servers has not come back online this morning after I shut them down last night during the huge thunderstorm. Not responding to SSH connections either. Going to have to bring a monitor over and plug it in to try and work out why it's not booting. 😖
January 15, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I've obviously turned into a bot - because I have no idea at all how to solve this Captcha on the Woolworths website. How dehumanising!
January 15, 2025 at 10:28 AM
A lot of houses without power right now in the North Ryde / Epping / Denistone areas of Sydney. We still have power here fortunately.
January 15, 2025 at 10:15 AM
Biggest thunderstorm I've seen in quite a while coming through right now. Almost constant lightning and thunder. Big enough storm that I'm shutting my servers and desktops down. I never do that.
January 15, 2025 at 9:31 AM
My accountant has started nagging me (again) about getting last years tax returns done. So here I am, posting on social media instead. #procrastination
January 15, 2025 at 7:08 AM
They have these shows on at 6pm every night of the week too!
So the worst genre is definitely dystopian nonfiction
January 14, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Never going to happen
We're making all your websites shitty and evil. What are you gonna do, log off and spend time with your family
January 14, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Been busy the past week coding a new Laravel Zero CLI application to manage my websites and migrate between servers. Replaces a bunch of bash scripts and allows me to export a site (files + database + server config) to the cloud, update DNS and then deploy it on a new server - all in a few minutes.
January 12, 2025 at 11:38 AM
That thing where you create a complex regex expression and it works first time and you start second guessing yourself because there was no debugging involved.
January 10, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Reposted by Simon Hampel
The Latrine Fall of 1184 was a disaster in Germany where a large group of noblemen gathered in a room above a latrine pit to discuss the distribution of power in the Holy Roman Empire. The floor caved in, causing up to a hundred of them to fall in and drown in liquid excrement.
January 9, 2025 at 2:40 PM
I have chicken, bacon, parmesan cheese, hard boiled eggs and Caesar dressing, but no lettuce. Does it still count as a salad if I can't be bothered to go out in the heat and buy some lettuce? 🤔
January 6, 2025 at 2:41 AM