Satan, Esquire
@satanesquire.bsky.social
The Satan (haśśāṭān, if you please). Not the Devil or Lucifer. I work in Divine QA. Employed by Yahweh as an examiner and adversary to test the integrity of souls. The boss and I like to gamble a bit. It’s in the Job description.
You can believe in Pythagoras’ theorems and still eat beans. It’s not an inconsistent position.
May 30, 2025 at 5:56 PM
You can believe in Pythagoras’ theorems and still eat beans. It’s not an inconsistent position.
For anyone curious about all the kosher laws and stuff, the answer’s pretty simple: it’s a texture thing. You know he’s got particular tastes - loves BBQ smoke, it’s a pleasing aroma to Him. Shellfish? Those are gross sea bugs. Bacon’s just too inconsistent.
May 10, 2025 at 10:39 PM
For anyone curious about all the kosher laws and stuff, the answer’s pretty simple: it’s a texture thing. You know he’s got particular tastes - loves BBQ smoke, it’s a pleasing aroma to Him. Shellfish? Those are gross sea bugs. Bacon’s just too inconsistent.
Reposted by Satan, Esquire
"We'll just terraform Mars," they insist, unable to terraform Earth, a planet that is already perfect except it's like 2° too warm.
May 10, 2025 at 5:40 AM
"We'll just terraform Mars," they insist, unable to terraform Earth, a planet that is already perfect except it's like 2° too warm.
With the elevation of Cardinal Robert Prevost to Leo XIV, I’ve submitted Form 666-B (“Demand for Adversarial Access to Pontifical Soul”) for approval. Just a light sifting, like wheat.
May 10, 2025 at 3:22 AM
With the elevation of Cardinal Robert Prevost to Leo XIV, I’ve submitted Form 666-B (“Demand for Adversarial Access to Pontifical Soul”) for approval. Just a light sifting, like wheat.
Reposted by Satan, Esquire
Reposted by Satan, Esquire
God, what have you done?
You're a WOKE MARXIST POPE
And you preach at the Vat
Oh Papa, I'm just having fun
On the balcony in my mitre
It's where I belong down at the
WOKE MARXIST POPE
I'm gonna keep on preaching at the
WOKE MARXIST POPE
You're a WOKE MARXIST POPE
And you preach at the Vat
Oh Papa, I'm just having fun
On the balcony in my mitre
It's where I belong down at the
WOKE MARXIST POPE
I'm gonna keep on preaching at the
WOKE MARXIST POPE
May 8, 2025 at 8:34 PM
God, what have you done?
You're a WOKE MARXIST POPE
And you preach at the Vat
Oh Papa, I'm just having fun
On the balcony in my mitre
It's where I belong down at the
WOKE MARXIST POPE
I'm gonna keep on preaching at the
WOKE MARXIST POPE
You're a WOKE MARXIST POPE
And you preach at the Vat
Oh Papa, I'm just having fun
On the balcony in my mitre
It's where I belong down at the
WOKE MARXIST POPE
I'm gonna keep on preaching at the
WOKE MARXIST POPE