Hermetic Order of the Goldie Hawn
@ryanpatricksmith.bsky.social
I published a chapbook of poems called The Death Metal Pastorals through Black Lawrence Press in 2019. Poet, teacher, and editor. Poems in Verse Daily, Kenyon Review, and the bellies of sad animals.
But then I, a teacher, would get that money, and not whoever showed the slide deck to the admins.
There isn't a single problem "solved" by edtech that couldn't be fixed with smaller classes led by well-paid teachers given real academic freedom
December 16, 2025 at 3:52 AM
But then I, a teacher, would get that money, and not whoever showed the slide deck to the admins.
The only really Catholic thing about JD Vance will be the ratline that eventually gets him to Argentina
November 2, 2025 at 9:02 PM
The only really Catholic thing about JD Vance will be the ratline that eventually gets him to Argentina
Putting together the MJ Lenderman unit for my Heterosexual Studies course.
October 3, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Putting together the MJ Lenderman unit for my Heterosexual Studies course.
*Charlie Kirk appears clothed in white to a crowd of his followers*: I give you photos of my grieving children. Go, and among all the nations you shall exploit my childrenโs unbelievable trauma. You shall meme them to score cheap points against Pete Davidson. Do this in memory of me.
September 18, 2025 at 11:15 AM
*Charlie Kirk appears clothed in white to a crowd of his followers*: I give you photos of my grieving children. Go, and among all the nations you shall exploit my childrenโs unbelievable trauma. You shall meme them to score cheap points against Pete Davidson. Do this in memory of me.
Charlie Kirkโs โdoing politics the right wayโ meant manipulating the rules of public discourse with the goal of ending discourse entirely and replacing it with the rule of force.
September 11, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Charlie Kirkโs โdoing politics the right wayโ meant manipulating the rules of public discourse with the goal of ending discourse entirely and replacing it with the rule of force.
I offer thoughts and prayers to Charlie Kirkโs friends and allies, in the sense that I want to be useless and ineffectual to them.
September 11, 2025 at 6:25 PM
I offer thoughts and prayers to Charlie Kirkโs friends and allies, in the sense that I want to be useless and ineffectual to them.
But heโs probably still in possession of that sink to let in.
June 7, 2025 at 2:44 AM
But heโs probably still in possession of that sink to let in.
Reposted by Hermetic Order of the Goldie Hawn
This is where the NYT barely mentions the story that a student, a legal permanent resident, was abducted by the stateโat the behest of an authoritarian President with explicit ties to neo-nazisโand is now imprisoned at an undisclosed location because of his political beliefs.
March 10, 2025 at 1:23 PM
This is where the NYT barely mentions the story that a student, a legal permanent resident, was abducted by the stateโat the behest of an authoritarian President with explicit ties to neo-nazisโand is now imprisoned at an undisclosed location because of his political beliefs.
Does it have to be cold per the schoolโs rules? Or due to necessity?
February 19, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Does it have to be cold per the schoolโs rules? Or due to necessity?
In an autocracy, the observer IS the opponent
February 16, 2025 at 3:15 AM
In an autocracy, the observer IS the opponent
Jesus, just look at us. We made 2 blood and honey movies the minute we had public domain pooh. We made Steamboat Willie fuck a railroad.
February 6, 2024 at 12:31 AM
Jesus, just look at us. We made 2 blood and honey movies the minute we had public domain pooh. We made Steamboat Willie fuck a railroad.
Heartbreaking: Henry Kissinger lived far too many years on this earth.
November 30, 2023 at 2:53 AM
Heartbreaking: Henry Kissinger lived far too many years on this earth.
Well. I just learned that Jesusโ foreskin is known as the Holy Prepuce.
November 27, 2023 at 12:07 AM
Well. I just learned that Jesusโ foreskin is known as the Holy Prepuce.
Hey man, as a poet, all I can say is what will you do with your one wild and precious life.
November 3, 2023 at 1:26 PM
Hey man, as a poet, all I can say is what will you do with your one wild and precious life.
Dadsplain?
November 2, 2023 at 5:21 PM
Dadsplain?
THE FABULOUS BRIGANDS CAME WITH WIGS ON - Decemberists guy trying to explain the Stonewall Riot to his son.
November 2, 2023 at 5:17 PM
THE FABULOUS BRIGANDS CAME WITH WIGS ON - Decemberists guy trying to explain the Stonewall Riot to his son.
Reposted by Hermetic Order of the Goldie Hawn
us affrilachian poets headline a reading tomorrow morning, 9:30am to 11am to open the Kentucky State Poetry Society's Annual Poetry Conference weekend with Sarabande's @kristenmiller.bsky.social delivering the keynote tomorrow at 7pm
im gonna whyle out like:
youtu.be/FsIqDxssLYg?...
im gonna whyle out like:
youtu.be/FsIqDxssLYg?...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=1r-hhcNmMtnqS0kO&v=FsIqDxssLYg&feature=youtu.be
youtu.be
October 28, 2023 at 12:38 AM
us affrilachian poets headline a reading tomorrow morning, 9:30am to 11am to open the Kentucky State Poetry Society's Annual Poetry Conference weekend with Sarabande's @kristenmiller.bsky.social delivering the keynote tomorrow at 7pm
im gonna whyle out like:
youtu.be/FsIqDxssLYg?...
im gonna whyle out like:
youtu.be/FsIqDxssLYg?...
Iโll be reading from The Death Metal Pastorals at Andover Bookstore in Andover, Massachusetts, on November 4, and I hope Iโll see you there!
October 9, 2023 at 9:05 PM
Iโll be reading from The Death Metal Pastorals at Andover Bookstore in Andover, Massachusetts, on November 4, and I hope Iโll see you there!
Friends, the band name โHuey Lewis and the Newsโ is like โHooty and the Blowfishโ: there is nobody named Huey Lewis.
October 4, 2023 at 12:38 AM
Friends, the band name โHuey Lewis and the Newsโ is like โHooty and the Blowfishโ: there is nobody named Huey Lewis.
Curse the Moon: How Some Gen-Z Witches on TikTok Cursed the Moon: Itโs a Myth about Generational Anxiety
September 9, 2023 at 1:44 AM
Curse the Moon: How Some Gen-Z Witches on TikTok Cursed the Moon: Itโs a Myth about Generational Anxiety
A lot of poetry is โfuck you Iโm cute ๐โ (or โfuck me Iโm cute ๐ฅฐโ).
September 6, 2023 at 4:50 PM
A lot of poetry is โfuck you Iโm cute ๐โ (or โfuck me Iโm cute ๐ฅฐโ).
Reposted by Hermetic Order of the Goldie Hawn
Not embracing Jim Jarmusch is an unforgivable oversight for poets.
August 22, 2023 at 12:26 AM
Not embracing Jim Jarmusch is an unforgivable oversight for poets.