Rory Michaelson (submitted and readable)
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rorymichaelson.com
Rory Michaelson (submitted and readable)
@rorymichaelson.com
#1 Best smelling author of the LESSER KNOWN MONSTERS series. A queer, AuDHD chaos goblin that’s all out of spoons and now only has knives. They/them(bo). 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ rep: @inthesestones.bsky.social

https://linktr.ee/rorymichaelson
Reposted by Rory Michaelson (submitted and readable)
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February 13, 2026 at 1:29 AM
Y’all if I get jacked this year I will consider it a public service to get one of those femboy cat maid outfits.
February 12, 2026 at 5:08 PM
Guess who has a meeting with a personal trainer this week 😅😅😅
February 10, 2026 at 4:44 PM
Literally just said to someone: “Well you know, my 2026 might not be as bad as 2025 was. It’s only February. 2026 is only slipping me the tip at the moment.”
a close up of a stuffed monkey wearing a green shirt and a green jacket .
Alt: a close up of a stuffed monkey wearing a green shirt and a green jacket looking nervous
media.tenor.com
February 10, 2026 at 9:44 AM
As someone who seems to have peaked looks-wise at age 40, I feel like I should send pics to my exes. Some of them out of spite and some of them just to be like HEY LOOK AT ME?!

I know all of them dumped me for my personality (which is still terrible) but it’s fun that I look prettier with it now.
February 7, 2026 at 2:54 PM
To context to why this infuriated my ex:
He constantly shamed me for my appearance; my hair and droopy left eyelid (especially when I’d been underwater in the pool or squinting in sun) and after sex would say things like ‘ugh I can’t believe I did that’

So me being hot doctors pick had him plucked
Just had a memory resurface of backpacking with my abusive ex when I was 20.

A super hot Canadian doctor was on our coach. I fell down a hill and sexy doctor RAN to help me, checked on me all day, then later shyly asked me to go for a drink with him.

My ex was LIVID.

I shoulda let him smash.
February 4, 2026 at 7:52 PM
Just had a memory resurface of backpacking with my abusive ex when I was 20.

A super hot Canadian doctor was on our coach. I fell down a hill and sexy doctor RAN to help me, checked on me all day, then later shyly asked me to go for a drink with him.

My ex was LIVID.

I shoulda let him smash.
February 4, 2026 at 4:38 PM
Guess who proofed 15 audiobook chapters today for the Torn Earth… 😜
February 3, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Got a soft mullet and wanted to make sure I could still trap thirsts.
January 30, 2026 at 5:13 PM
Reminder that if you want some genuinely creepy short stories you can read ‘The Little Book of Lesser Known Monsters.’

I still look back at a couple of stories from that and think “what the fuck is wrong with me?”

(‘The Worst Spice’ and ‘Meat Your Greens’)
January 27, 2026 at 9:51 PM
I guess I don’t have to worry about getting back into TikTok now 💀
January 27, 2026 at 5:54 PM
If anyone needs me I’ll be lingering in the doorway where the dramatic lighting is.
January 27, 2026 at 11:51 AM
This is especially a betrayal because sushi rice is my main safe food and one of like three things I’ll actually make for myself but right now I feel like I won’t be able to do it again now.
Today’s meltdown brought to you by:

✨not putting the lid on the rice cooker properly✨
January 25, 2026 at 2:38 PM
Today’s meltdown brought to you by:

✨not putting the lid on the rice cooker properly✨
January 25, 2026 at 2:30 PM
I suddenly need some purple trousers. What does this mean?
January 24, 2026 at 1:48 PM
My resolution for 2026 is to be a little bit less resilient and a little more ferocious.
January 22, 2026 at 12:53 PM
Sky news joining the anti ND movement.

Wanna know why ADHD ‘drug’ (yes careful not to say ‘medication’) use has rocketed? Because of improvement in diagnosis and more appropriate care.

They even say at one point “not all ADHD counts as a disability.” Literal health disinformation. Disgusting.
January 22, 2026 at 12:16 PM
Working with a client who replies to all correspondence using GenAI. Their responses come super fast, long, repetitive, circular, and borderline incoherent.

I just spent an hour crafting a response specifically designed to break a further GenAI response by confusing it or making it eat itself.
January 22, 2026 at 8:36 AM
Sometimes I wonder about how far I’ve come mentally because I literally just thought for what I think is the first time in my life and genuinely believed it: I DESERVE GREAT THINGS.
January 21, 2026 at 2:36 PM
“Why do you write?”

Because it’s the only way to make the little people constantly going on adventures in my head be quiet for a bit.
January 19, 2026 at 11:39 AM
I have arisen.

Special thanks to antibiotics and steroids.
January 18, 2026 at 4:11 PM
How I feel more than ten days into being sick:
January 17, 2026 at 1:31 PM
Two hours after first dose of steroids and I can breathe well enough to sit and miaow outside fiancé’s office door for attention.
Been very ill this last week but now started on steroids and antibiotics so hoping I’m back with some more energy sooooon 💚
January 16, 2026 at 1:46 PM
Been very ill this last week but now started on steroids and antibiotics so hoping I’m back with some more energy sooooon 💚
January 16, 2026 at 9:30 AM
Watched yesterdays UK Traitors and can’t stop laughing that the author went into a tailspin because they were presented with a dramatic finale scenario but at the midpoint of the story and couldn’t help but main character out.
January 15, 2026 at 10:51 PM