It's the 9th anniversary of when I was forced to write a sports round at my pub quiz.
November 18, 2025 at 12:48 PM
It's the 9th anniversary of when I was forced to write a sports round at my pub quiz.
There was a breakthrough in therapy today: the receptionist recognized me.
I'm cured!
I'm cured!
November 18, 2025 at 2:52 AM
There was a breakthrough in therapy today: the receptionist recognized me.
I'm cured!
I'm cured!
I feel about Christianity the same way I feel about The Greatest Showman: some of the songs are great, but it's morally repugnant.
November 12, 2025 at 11:25 AM
I feel about Christianity the same way I feel about The Greatest Showman: some of the songs are great, but it's morally repugnant.
St. Peter's Bussy-Licker
November 6, 2025 at 1:16 PM
St. Peter's Bussy-Licker
*I wake up early for some reason*
MY BODY: Oh, I'm so tired.
ME: So, let's go back to sleep.
BODY: Man, today's gonna suck because of how tired I am.
ME: We can totally sleep some more.
BODY: Woe is me. I ache.
ME: No one is forcing you to be awake!
BODY: Also, let's do eczema today.
MY BODY: Oh, I'm so tired.
ME: So, let's go back to sleep.
BODY: Man, today's gonna suck because of how tired I am.
ME: We can totally sleep some more.
BODY: Woe is me. I ache.
ME: No one is forcing you to be awake!
BODY: Also, let's do eczema today.
October 29, 2025 at 10:27 PM
*I wake up early for some reason*
MY BODY: Oh, I'm so tired.
ME: So, let's go back to sleep.
BODY: Man, today's gonna suck because of how tired I am.
ME: We can totally sleep some more.
BODY: Woe is me. I ache.
ME: No one is forcing you to be awake!
BODY: Also, let's do eczema today.
MY BODY: Oh, I'm so tired.
ME: So, let's go back to sleep.
BODY: Man, today's gonna suck because of how tired I am.
ME: We can totally sleep some more.
BODY: Woe is me. I ache.
ME: No one is forcing you to be awake!
BODY: Also, let's do eczema today.
#DoctorWho #News #Exclusive #SneakPeek #DrWho #BBC First pictures leaked from the Doctor Who 2026 Christmas special!
October 29, 2025 at 1:10 AM
#DoctorWho #News #Exclusive #SneakPeek #DrWho #BBC First pictures leaked from the Doctor Who 2026 Christmas special!
I'm an improv method actor: in my real life, I also have no clue what's going on.
October 23, 2025 at 5:07 PM
I'm an improv method actor: in my real life, I also have no clue what's going on.
Welcome to my twisted world.
Shoes off, please.
Shoes off, please.
October 18, 2025 at 7:37 AM
Welcome to my twisted world.
Shoes off, please.
Shoes off, please.
There's not enough written about how exhausting it is to be in a room with someone who's really hot.
October 16, 2025 at 5:26 PM
There's not enough written about how exhausting it is to be in a room with someone who's really hot.
Is KPop Demon Hunters the only film where it's gayer to like the male characters than the girls?
October 8, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Is KPop Demon Hunters the only film where it's gayer to like the male characters than the girls?
You merely adopted the dark, I bathe in it.
October 6, 2025 at 2:55 PM
You merely adopted the dark, I bathe in it.
October 6, 2025 at 1:13 PM
October 2, 2025 at 8:23 AM
Suck it, Jesus.
September 27, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Suck it, Jesus.
Do you reckon Archduke Franz Ferdinand was this much of a dipshit?
September 22, 2025 at 9:20 AM
Do you reckon Archduke Franz Ferdinand was this much of a dipshit?
A guy at a gay club just came up and said I give 'trans man Hank Hill vibes.'
I think I've pulled?
I think I've pulled?
September 19, 2025 at 1:35 PM
A guy at a gay club just came up and said I give 'trans man Hank Hill vibes.'
I think I've pulled?
I think I've pulled?
We can all be our own genies if we lower our standards enough.
September 18, 2025 at 2:51 PM
We can all be our own genies if we lower our standards enough.
Try my new lifestyle brand: Scream Yourself Thin.
September 16, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Try my new lifestyle brand: Scream Yourself Thin.
Grindr: watch a 40 second ad in order to gain the privilege to not quite load a message from a bot.
September 13, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Grindr: watch a 40 second ad in order to gain the privilege to not quite load a message from a bot.
I put a ring on it!
September 11, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I put a ring on it!
I mean...this catfish is really hot...
September 11, 2025 at 11:37 AM
I mean...this catfish is really hot...
At a fancy restaurant, turning on Grindr cos the bill ain't cheap.
September 10, 2025 at 1:05 PM
At a fancy restaurant, turning on Grindr cos the bill ain't cheap.
In a cover letter just typed 'organished' instead of 'organised' but honestly, I feel the first describes me better.
September 8, 2025 at 11:17 PM
In a cover letter just typed 'organished' instead of 'organised' but honestly, I feel the first describes me better.
When the resurrection is sadder than the death.
September 5, 2025 at 3:29 PM
When the resurrection is sadder than the death.