Dinosaur Comics!
LightNews LightNews
banner
qwantz.com
Dinosaur Comics!
@qwantz.com
32K followers 1 following 350 posts
Comics? On the INTERNET?? On WWW DOT BSKY DOT APP??
Posts Replies Media Videos
qwantz.com
keep a large framed painting of one (1) friend in my house. but if you add more than one then it becomes this Whole Thing

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: People often have pictures of their family in their home. To that I say: FAH! T-Rex: And by "FAH!" I mean "hey, good start, but why stop there?" T-Rex: I think we should have pictures in our houses not just of family, but of our FRIENDS. In fact, I think it so much, it's what I'm doing from now on! I'm gonna have nice photos of nice pals to look at and make me happy! Dromiceiomimus: Aww! That's sweet. T-Rex: RIGHT? I'm a good guy! Utahraptor: But where do you draw the line? T-Rex: Explain! Utahraptor: You've created a VISIBLE THRESHOLD in every one of your friendships: are you photo-worthy or not? What happens if I come over expecting a photo of me and find none? T-Rex: Then you'll be so mad at me that we'll become worse friends and the problem solves itself! HAH! Off panel: Okay, sure, but what if I think it's creepy you keep a photo of me? T-Rex: See my response to the question you posed immediately preceding this one! T-Rex: KEEPING PHOTOS OF FRIENDS IN YOUR HOUSE: A NO-DOWNSIDES LIFESTYLE CHOICE
February 9, 2026 at 11:02 AM
qwantz.com
billions and billions of dudes. possibly too many?? clearly more investigation into the dudes is needed

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: There are so many people alive right now! SO MANY. Billions and billions of dudes! T-Rex: And don't even get me started on the LADIES!! T-Rex: Plus the non-binary pals in there too. And with so many people kickin' around, how can a gent SUCH AS MYSELF make himself unique? How can I stand out from the crowd? Dromiceiomimus: Easy! Just believe things that nobody else believes, and you'll be unique. T-Rex: I'M ON IT! Narrator: BUT THEN: T-Rex: I'm off it! It's way too hard! Utahraptor: How?! T-Rex: Man, you think "I'm gonna believe something SO FOUNDATIONALLY WACKY that nobody else will have ever believed it before now," but no - SOMEBODY ALWAYS DOES! Utahraptor: Like flat Earth? T-Rex: Oh please, that's just entry-level wacky. T-Rex: I got as far as "Iceland isn't named after ice, it's named after Isis the Egyptian mother goddess of magic and wisdom, and thus is properly called "Is-Land" - AND SOMEBODY BEAT ME TO IT! Off panel: Damn. T-Rex: Turns out, all I got are a bunch of USED IDEAS!!
February 6, 2026 at 1:39 PM
qwantz.com
i knew i should've stayed an infinite being of pure energy; all the other infinite beings of pure energy told me but did i listen? NO because they were ANNOYING

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
Narrator: So You've Decided To Stop Being An Infinite Being Of Pure Energy And Become Corporeal Instead T-Rex: Great choice! T-Rex: Many who decide to become mortal being of flesh and blood DO live to regret it... T-Rex: ...but only briefly! Dromiceiomimus: On the time scales YOU'RE used to, anyway! Dromiceiomimus: Now, you're probably wondering about your new body. Will it be perfect? T-Rex: Oh, HEAVENS no. Utahraptor: But will it at least be "pretty good"? T-Rex: TOTAL roll of the dice! T-Rex: Luckily, there are aftermarket add-ons you can get for your body once you're inside it that attempt to fix these flaws, such as "glasses", "medical footwear", and "corrective surgeries", but these all require "money". Utahraptor: So you'll want to ensure you've got a bunch of THAT. T-Rex: Don't forget: all happiness you will ever experience now depends on chemicals that you must rely on your body to excrete, but SOMETIMES, it won't! Off panel: That is CLASSIC bodies right there. T-Rex and off panel: NO REFUNDS!!
February 4, 2026 at 1:22 PM
qwantz.com
what about mortifying defeats, or cringeworthy losses? how precisely do those factor in

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: One time in high school I signed up for a fully-optional math test, as part of a fully-optional math competition! T-Rex: And then I didn't study at all!! T-Rex: Not even a li'l! Dromiceiomimus: Wait, WHY didn't you study for this thing? T-Rex: Because I was a LITERAL TEEN. I thought I'd be fine! I'd figure it out on the day or whatever. Dromiceiomimus: Did you do well? T-Rex: NOT EVEN CLOSE. Last place!! Utahraptor: Sounds like a real humiliating defeat! T-Rex: Oh yeah, it was! T-Rex: BUT: the plus side is, it taught me I wasn't preternaturally smart or competent - I could fail like anyone else, and good things take work. And that's a great thing to learn! Utahraptor: True. I can think of SEVERAL people who could stand to learn that, and the world would be a better place if they did! Narrator: HUMILIATING DEFEATS: AN IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. T-Rex: So, if you really think about it, my last-place finish actually makes me a better person than everyone who DID do well, and - Off panel: NO.
February 2, 2026 at 1:57 PM
qwantz.com
in heaven you can do anything EXCEPT make heaven suck, and that's on account of how the main thing about heaven is that it doesn't suck too bad IF AT ALL

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Everyone should have a goal they're working towards. God: WHAT'S YOURS T-REX IS IT WORLD PEACE OR ENDING HUNGER OR T-Rex: Real-life Batmobile! T-Rex: REAL-LIFE BATMOBILE!! Dromiceiomimus: But real life Batmobiles ALREADY exist, T-Rex: they've made them for the movies, and fans have duplicated them! T-Rex: No! All of THOSE make concessions to reason, to finances, to PHYSICS. I want a Batmobile that doesn't give up and meet reality half-way. I want a Batmobile that does it all! Oil slicks! Ejector seats! Caltrops! JET ENGINES! MISSILES! Utahraptor: Splitting into three pieces and rejoining later? T-Rex: YES! T-Rex: I want it to be CAPABLE of driving up walls, even if it never does. Utahraptor: So what you want is a missile, that's also a car that you can steer, that also - somehow - avoids killing you instantly. T-Rex: YES PLEASE. God: YOU KNOW T-REX IN HEAVEN YOU CAN DO ANYTHING BUT EVEN THERE THE BATMOBILE IS A BIT MUCH T-Rex: Well then, someone should do something about that! Like me! T-Rex: BY USING AND DRIVING MY REAL-LIFE BATMOBILE
January 30, 2026 at 1:13 PM
qwantz.com
CHOOSE YOUR OWN POETIC ADVENTURE WITH EMILY DICKINSON (SHE IS UNAWARE THIS IS HAPPENING; PLEASE DO NOT TELL HER ESTATE)

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Because I could not stop for Death - Narrator: Continue not stopping for Death - you've got a MUCH more pressing concern! Turn to panel 2 Narrator: See if he'll stop for you instead: panel 3 T-Rex: (I really had to pee) - Narrator: Turn to panel 5 T-Rex: He kindly stopped for me - Narrator: Check in with your bladder: turn to panel 2 Narrator: Examine carriage: turn to panel 4 T-Rex: The Carriage held but just Ourselves - Utahraptor: And Immortality. Narrator: Turn to panel 6 T-Rex: And in the end it worked out fine - Utahraptor: I made it home to pee! Narrator: Turn to panel 6 T-Rex: I call this comic, "Famous Works Of Poetry As They Were Intended To Be Enjoyed, But We Didn't Know About Interactive Media Yet" T-Rex: But now, we DO! Narrator: THE END
January 28, 2026 at 1:28 PM
qwantz.com
Sherlock had gone "full Sherlock" when dressing this morning and even Watson had to be like, okay you're dressed like Sherlock Holmes, WE GET IT

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Sherlock Holmes, who was the world's GREATEST Detective but the world's LEAST-TALENTED pickleball player, frowned. T-Rex: Somehow, he'd been roped into a game of pickleball! T-Rex: Sherlock was hopeless, absolutely hopeless. HE was dressed in his classic "Sherlock outfit", and the heavy Victorian overcoat was making him extra sweaty and SUPER extra smelly. He spun wildly as he swung for the ball, missed, lost his balance, and fell hard on his butt. T-Rex: Sherlock looked desperately around for any crimes that needed solving, but there weren't any! Utahraptor: Damn, Sherlock sucks at this! T-Rex: Oh, dude, you have NO IDEA. T-Rex: His teammates are annoyed because they think he's doing it on purpose, and that makes Sherlock cry with frustration, and so then everyone has to be nice to him because he's crying but he's absolutely ruining everyone's fun - AND HE KNOWS IT. Nobody is happy! T-Rex: Finally someone says "hey, I think that guy murdered someone" and Sherlock runs off, desperately thankful for the excuse. He turns over the match in his head for several days but can never reconcile the man he was during it with the man he supposed himself to be.
January 23, 2026 at 1:31 PM
qwantz.com
i love conflict avoidance, and if YOU think conflict avoidance is bad then yeah maybe you're right!!

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Sometimes in our lives we face conflict! We disagree with someone and we MUST work it out. T-Rex: Or MUST we? T-Rex: Because I've just found out that everyone LIED to us and there's a whole lifestyle where you never have to face ANY conflict!! Dromiceiomimus: WHAT?! I've been doing the difficult labour of working out differences in my interpersonal relationships for my entire life AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO?? T-Rex: Right?! Utahraptor: What's this incredible lifestyle called? T-Rex: "Conflict avoidance". T-Rex: You simply avoid ever confronting anything - OR anyone! You just act like it doesn't bother you - fake it till you make it, baby - and become a PEOPLE-PLEASER, always agreeing to what OTHERS want! Utahraptor: Wow! Who WOULDN'T want to please people? T-Rex: EXACTLY!! Off panel: But wait - it says here that never resolving conflicts leads to stunted emotional growth?! T-Rex: Sounds great, I don't need my dang emotions growing any larger ANYWAY! Off panel: I don't think that's what that means! T-Rex: OH NO
January 21, 2026 at 1:42 PM
qwantz.com
some days you just want to write a comic that will become instantly dated. greetings, future readers - remember when spending more than $100 on eating out was REMARKABLE??

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
Narrator: WHAT THE MOST YOU'VE EVER SPENT ON A RESTAURANT MEAL SAYS ABOUT YOU Narrator: in comic form T-Rex: ONE HA'PENNY: you lived in history times and are dead now! Dromiceiomimus: ONE DOLLAR: you eat very little and hopefully lived in the past too. T-Rex: TEN DOLLARS: still quite frugal! Are you good at the economy, or are you another past person? If you lived and died in the time of Charlemagne, you have to tell us. T-Rex: ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS: wow, a fancy meal! But I guess we're all allowed one ONCE in a while. Utahraptor: Sure! Utahraptor: FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS: this is getting to once-in-a-lifetime space. T-Rex: Or MAYBE they're eating FIVE hundred-dollar meals all at once, thereby banking 'em for the week! Utahraptor: You shouldn't do that, T-Rex. T-Rex: I HAVE FREE WILL!! Off panel: ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS: you're either rich or from the future, where everything's expensive. T-Rex: OR, you ate TEN fancy meals all at once, thereby banking 'em for TWO weeks. Yum! Off panel: ...T-Rex. T-Rex: MY WILL, SHE IS FREE
January 19, 2026 at 1:30 PM
qwantz.com
it's important to be good at it and if you have talent that can make it easier, especially at the start. hope this helps!!

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: If you want to become a good rapper then you have to become good at rhyming! T-Rex: I assume this is the case, anyway! T-Rex: Look, you're taking advice from a guy who is NOT a rapper on how to BE a rapper, so let's all go into this with our eyes open. I have no idea and have done no research, BUT, I feel relatively certain you need to get good at rhymes. Dromiceiomimus: And how do you do that? T-Rex: Same way you do anything! Utahraptor: Do it over and over until you're good at it! T-Rex: Precisely! T-Rex: You have to start rhyming everything you say, each and every day, until your rhymes come out pretty okay! Utahraptor: But what about meter, prosody, and vocal presence? T-Rex: ... T-Rex: ...I don't know what those are Narrator: MUCH LATER: T-Rex: I know what those are now and they're important too.
January 14, 2026 at 1:27 PM
qwantz.com
i think you shouldn't be friends with someone if they won't proudly proclaim that you're definitely not the WORST dude

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Sometimes even the best of us get frustrated! I know this because I'm the best of us. T-Rex: Given that I am alone right now, "us" is just me, making that claim easy to make! Dromiceiomimus: Ah, but now that I'M here, are you STILL the best of us? T-Rex: Yes, of course - because "best" can be more than one! Dromiceiomimus: The two of us are the best of us, where "us" is everyone else? T-Rex: Exactly! Utahraptor: Okay, but what about when I'M here? T-Rex: We're all STILL the best of us, dude! T-Rex: Honestly, as long as we don't include the #1 worst guy of us, then the rest of us ARE the best of us. Utahraptor: So by that logic, the best of the best of us is everyone save for the TWO worst guys? T-Rex: That's it, yes! T-Rex: And the best of the best of the best of us is everyone save for the THREE worst guys on Earth. Off panel: Huh! T-Rex: Yeah, just don't tell them though or they'll be REAL SHITTY about it
January 12, 2026 at 1:26 PM
qwantz.com
they're little bundles of joy that you can't talk to but need to somehow teach complicated concepts to, and they have knives for teeth but don't know it yet. what could go wrong

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: People say you can't buy happiness, but they're WRONG! T-Rex: They're WRONG, and I have PROOF! T-Rex: Pets make you happy, and you can buy a puppy. Therefore - Dromiceiomimus: Therefore, money buys happiness. Yes! Dromiceiomimus: I've gotta go, T-Rex - I'm not going to delay being happy for a moment longer! To the federal puppy depository! Utahraptor: But puppies take work! Lots of it, especially at the start! T-Rex: WHAT? Utahraptor: Yes, that's the scam: they're a HUGE amount of work but for some reason past generations just agreed to pretend they're not! And now every our whole culture says they're these wee bundles of joy, and WE pay the price!! T-Rex: But... Dromiceiomimus! SHE JUST WENT TO THE FEDERAL PUPPY DEPOSITORY!! Off panel: Don't worry T-Rex! We're all mature adults here, and I would never enter into such a long-term responsibility with an animal without being prepared! P.S.: it's me, Dromiceiomimus! T-Rex: Thanks, bud! Off panel: I know I'm hard to see from so far away so I just thought I'd specify
January 9, 2026 at 1:29 PM
qwantz.com
in truth there are simply two types of people: people of the first type, and people of the other types

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: There are so many types of people! And by that I mean "precisely three". Narrator: THE THREE TYPES OF PEOPLE T-Rex: The first type are the people who never forget anyone's name, are completely comfortable at a party where they don't know anyone, and love to work a room. They are angels, and they exist to let us know how far the rest of us have fallen. Dromiceiomimus: Like all angels, they come into your life unexpectedly. T-Rex: To remind you of how bad you are at a party where you don't know anyone, yes. Utahraptor: What's the second type of people? T-Rex: Normal people! T-Rex: We "normies" forget people's names all the time - and even when you think "I've met T-Rex ten times, there's no way he's gonna forget my name" but SURPRISE, because I find a way. This is normal and should be allowed, even celebrated. Utahraptor: Uh-huh. And the third type of people? T-Rex: Catchall category for anyone who doesn't fit into the first two categories. OH SNAP! Now you HAVE to admit that my ontology is PROVABLY true and complete!! Off panel: ...But that doesn't mean it's good. T-Rex: JUST ADMIT THAT I CAPTURED ALL OF THE TYPES OF DUDES IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE
January 7, 2026 at 12:52 PM
qwantz.com
wait, i ALSO have to forget all my old acquaintances? BUT THEY WERE SUCH A GREAT SUPPORTING CAST FOR ME

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: It's a new year! And, as is tradition... T-Rex: ...it is also a NEW ME. Dromiceiomimus: Oh that's too bad, T-Rex! I liked the you I already knew, but I guess it HAS been getting to be that time. T-Rex: Yeah, I liked the old me too! But new year, you know. I don't make the rules. Dromiceiomimus: Yeah, these are the terms we all live under! Utahraptor: So what are you thinking - a relaunch? Reboot? Retooling? T-Rex: I'm thinking: FULL REBOOT. T-Rex: There will be parts you recognize, but many of them will be updated and different, portrayed by actors you don't recognize. And there'll be cheeky little nods to the old me, but in a winky way. Oh! And maybe the old me will come back as a cameo, but now playing my grandfather or something. Off panel: Honestly, this doesn't sound nearly as good as what we already have. T-Rex: I know, I know!! T-Rex: But it's a NEW YEAR, and idioms have TOO MUCH POWER!
January 5, 2026 at 1:24 PM
qwantz.com
you can't spell "sexagesimal" without "ages"! and i have NO IDEA what that implies

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Clocks are in base 24 for hours (0-23) but sometimes they're base 12 with an "am" or "pm" added for clarity! T-Rex: RIDICULOUS. T-Rex: And it gets worse, because MINUTES and SECONDS are base 60! We REPRESENT them in base 10, but come on, we are mixing anywhere from two to four bases here for TIME ITSELF. That is MADNESS! Utahraptor: See, I would've thought you'd be into something called "sexagesimal". T-Rex: NORMALLY, I would be! T-Rex: But some things are even more important than numeral systems with really erotic names. Utahraptor: And now you're going to propose decimal time, and I'm going to say let's get metric done worldwide before we try to REDEFINE TIME ITSELF, and you're going to admit I'm right. T-Rex: Huh! Utahraptor, your summary there saved us minutes of time! Off panel: NORMAL minutes or decimal minutes, T-Rex? T-Rex: *sigh* T-Rex: ... T-Rex: ...Normal minutes
December 19, 2025 at 2:11 PM
qwantz.com
heresy comix

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Responsibilities! Everyone's got 'em. God: NOT EVERYONE'S GOT 'EM T-REX T-Rex: Most of us got 'em! Dromiceiomimus: Hold up, who DOESN'T have responsibilities? T-Rex: God, I guess? Since I think if you imagine God's got this boss that he has to report to, then you're doing a heresy. Dromiceiomimus: Oh dang, yeah, I don't think you're supposed to do that. Even a little ENTRY-LEVEL heresy is pretty bad in certain circles. Utahraptor: Is someone doing full-on heresies in here? T-Rex: Hey, yeah, sorry, that was me! T-Rex: I got a little carried away and maybe created some new heresies. Utahraptor: Dude!! Heresies are the one thing you're NOT supposed to create! T-Rex: I know, I'm sorry! It's my first heresy and, God's hardass boss willing, my last. T-Rex: ...FRIG, THAT'S TWO!!
December 15, 2025 at 1:34 PM
qwantz.com
what is this: charcoal mixed with saliva and - is that ANIMAL FAT?! oh boy, when i find out who's doing this they're in SO MUCH TROUBLE

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Kids today are always sneaking into caves! And you know what they're doing in there? T-Rex: I'll TELL you what they're doing! T-Rex: They're painting DEER on the WALLS instead of hunting and gathering with their families! T-Rex: I don't know what to do. I tell them "stop painting deer" and you know what they do? They paint a really stupid-looking deer - seriously, the worst deer you can imagine, a full-on baloney deer - and then they call me into the cave and point at it and say "look, that's you." Dromiceiomimus: Can you see the painting clearly? Isn't it dark? T-Rex: THEY HAVE TORCHES! This is a diss that takes PLANNING and like, INFRASTRUCTURE! T-Rex: I worry about the next generation of kids. I really do! Utahraptor: Same, bud! Utahraptor: I caught some kids today TILLING. They were like "we're gonna plant seeds instead of gathering; this way we can stay in one place instead of moving all the time and can create longer-lasting buildings." T-Rex: INFRASTRUCTURE! It's always the same! WHY do kids love INFRASTRUCTURE so much? Narrator: LATER, IN A CAVE: T-Rex: Dang it! I wanted to come here to sit in the dark and smell bear poop, and now that my eyes have adjusted, you know what I see? T-Rex: DEER! T-Rex: DEER ALL OVER THE FRIGGIN' WALLS
December 12, 2025 at 1:44 PM
qwantz.com
MENSTRUATION IS DIFFERENT, AND ALSO THESE ARE DINOSAURS SO THEY'RE NOT USED TO IT, SO AS YOU CAN SEE THE FACT THAT EVERYONE IS DINOSAURS IN THIS COMIC IS DEFINITELY PAYING OFF IN THIS PARTICULAR INSTANCE

qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: True, the body has its many and varied cascading flaws, always shifting and multiplying unpredictably like elements in a kaleidoscope, but there are some things it does well: T-Rex: URINE COLOUR, baby! T-Rex: The colour of your pee can tell you health things! If it's clear, don't drink so much water! If it's dark yellow, drink more water! And if it's cloudy, you've probably got a urinary tract infection! T-Rex: As you can see, carefully observing your own pee is a fun, convenient, and FREE way to check up on your body's status! Utahraptor: Plus if it's red, then there's probably blood in it, which is bad. T-Rex: INDEED. T-Rex: Blood's a special case though, because it's generally bad if your blood's somewhere it's not usually. Utahraptor: Blood in your saliva? T-Rex: BAD. Utahraptor: Blood in your eyeballs? T-Rex: BAD. Off panel: Blood all over your macaroni and cheese? T-Rex: NOT GREAT, BUD. Off panel: ...Oh frig. I've - Off panel: I need to go
December 10, 2025 at 1:29 PM
qwantz.com
Advantages to Being Old: a comic written by someone who is SO COMMITTED to growing old that if he doesn't do it he'll DIE

qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Many people fear aging, but they forget that in some ways it actually rules! And thus, I am here to present... Narrator: ADVANTAGES TO BEING OLD T-Rex: FIRST OFF: memory loss! Whomst among us hasn't laid in bed in the small hours of the morning, staring at the ceiling while reliving all of our greatest mistakes and most embarrassing blunders? Well, GUESS WHAT?? T-Rex: When you're sufficiently old you won't remember them anymore! The sweetest dreams are those made in the bliss of ignorance! Utahraptor: Won't I also forget my loved ones? T-Rex: Sure. Absolutely, yes. T-Rex: But ALSO your hated ones: they too will fade into the mists of time! YES: forgetting everything save for your vague sense that you've lost something precious and irreplaceable feels bad, but that's why it's so important to convince yourself NOW that forgetting all the duds you've ever known is GOOD, actually!! Off panel: You promised ADVANTAGES to being old, plural, yet offered only a single and extremely suspect one. T-Rex: Yes. Perhaps you are frustrated? Annoyed? T-Rex: Just think of how good it'll feel to forget this conversation when you're OLD!
December 8, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Reposted by Dinosaur Comics!
ryannorth.ca
Here are deadlines for order RAD DINOSAUR COMICS MERCH for the holidays!! 🦖🎁

topatoco.com/collections/...
topa.to TopatoCo @topa.to · Dec 5
Hello friends, foes, & lovers (👀?), we have our UPDATED Holiday shipping deadlines for you! :) These deadlines will also be available to look at on our website too: topatoco.com/pages/holida...
red text on a yellow background of our 2025 shipping deadlines, text reads: !!!HOLIDAY SHIPPING DEADLINES!!! international (non-u.s.): november 24th usps (u.s. orders) ground advantage - 10th usps priority - 12th usps express - 16th ups (u.s. orders): ground: december 12th ups 3-day select & ups 2nd day air - 17th ups next day air - 18th after these dates we cannot guarantee your items will arrive on time! Happy holidays friends, stay safe out there :]
December 5, 2025 at 6:15 PM
qwantz.com
sherlock we need you to invent a universal language!! and NO you don't get to say "mathematics is a universal language" because how do you say "i'm horny" in math?? you CAN'T, don't even TRY

qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Sherlock Holmes, the world's greatest detective, scowled. He'd detected something astounding... T-Rex: ...LIFE on other worlds!! T-Rex: Yes, Sherlock had detected CANALS on MARS, and knew that if the Martians had canals they probably also had CRIMES, and therefore would likely have use of his services! But how could a detective from his era of horses and steam communicate with another world? Dromiceiomimus: Oh, I know this one: huge Earth canals shaped like letters, filled with oil and lit on fire, right? Utahraptor: Yeah, it was a proposal at the time - assume that Martians have telescopes too, so we build fiery canals to communicate! T-Rex: Wait, are we assuming the Martians speak ENGLISH?? Utahraptor: I don't know man, ask Sherlock! Have Sherlock Holmes come up with a universal language for communicating with alien life, because I'm sure that'd be useful to a whole bunch of people! T-Rex: Sherlock Holmes, the world's greatest detective, smiled. He just realized there WASN'T life on Mars after all, and so he could go back to solving crimes in his local area of Victorian England instead! Off panel: Boooooo
December 5, 2025 at 2:35 PM
qwantz.com
the image of the earth is off-screen. and big. real pretty. honestly it's a shame you can't see it

qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Ah yes - time for me to walk in a big loop, returning home with nothing to show for it... T-Rex: ...despite hours and hours of effort?? Dromiceiomimus: Ah, hiking. You're talking about hiking, right, perhaps the exemplar for "it's the journey not the destination"? T-Rex: Indeed I am, Dromiceiomimus! Dromiceiomimus: And don't you value, I don't know - escaping into the woods and looking at trees? T-Rex: A proper image search can show me orders of magnitude more trees than can be seen on ANY hike!! Utahraptor: Yes, but - T-Rex: I'm serious, I can look at a photo of a forest and see more trees than I'd see on ANY hike. Heck, I can look at a photo of both sides of Earth and TECHNICALLY be looking at EVERY TREE in the KNOWN UNIVERSE! In fact, I'm going to do that right now!! Narrator: SHORTLY: T-Rex: FRIG, it's too low-resolution to see any trees! Off panel: So hey, you wanna spend a pleasant afternoon walking in the woods with friends instead? T-Rex: Eugh T-Rex: FINE
December 3, 2025 at 1:04 PM
qwantz.com
to answer your question: yes, the pumpkins ARE out of season and look it

qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Attention, single ladies! Good news: I'm AVAILABLE for DATING that can lead to both SMOOCHING and to DEEP HAPPINESS! T-Rex: "Can", not necessarily "will", but it's worth a shot!! Dromiceiomimus: These days anyone can see thousands of singles in our area looking for love. What do YOU offer than nobody else does? T-Rex: I'm handsome! Dromiceiomimus: Lots of people are! T-Rex: I'm funny! Dromiceiomimus: Lots of people are! T-Rex: DANG. Dating IS hard! Utahraptor: You just need to make yourself unique! T-Rex: Oh heck, is that all? T-Rex: DONE, easy. I'm now the ONLY guy in town who doesn't use lexicalized contractions. You know, the ones that are so normalized we've forgotten what they ACTUALLY stand for. Utahraptor: Really? T-Rex: YES! As of now, as of nine of the clock this morning! Narrator: AND THUS: T-Rex: Ladies, I have some pumpkins at my place! Hang out with ME tonight and we can carve Jacks of the lantern!! Off panel: Oh right, that's what "jack o'lantern" stands for. Off panel: I'm INTRIGUED... and possibly SEDUCED!
December 1, 2025 at 1:15 PM
qwantz.com
t-rex's sinister neighbours return! or... WERE THEY THERE, JUST OFFSCREEN, THE ENTIRE TIME????

qwantz.com/index.php?co...
Creepy voice(s): HELLO, T-REX. T-Rex: Oh no, my sinister raccoon and cephalopod neighbours?! I'm not turning around to see if it's really you! T-Rex: Because I'm a busy guy, NOT because you've been wildly terrifying me for years! Narrator: LATER: T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, are they still behind me? Dromiceiomimus: Who? T-Rex: Oh phew. PHEW. I was being followed by creepy raccoons and beaked octopods, but I guess they got tired and went home. Dromiceiomimus: Oh, THOSE guys? Yeah, they're still behind you. T-Rex: AHHHHHHH! Utahraptor: What? WHAT?? T-Rex: UTAHRAPTOR, ARE THERE LAND-OCTOS AND RACCOONS BEHIND ME?? Utahraptor: No, nothing's behind you. Dromiceiomimus was just playing with you. T-Rex: Oh good. I swear, if they were still there, I'd freeze in place and be unable to move for a full day out of PURE TERROR. Creepy voice(s): T-REX - IS THAT A PROMISE? T-Rex: AHHHHH! T-Rex: ... T-Rex: ... T-Rex: DANG IT, I HAD THINGS TO DO TODAY
November 28, 2025 at 1:49 PM
qwantz.com
fixing this is going to require some... re-training

qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: The emergency brake on this train says "FINE FOR MISUSE" so I guess it's okay if you want to mess with it! [[blank]] Narrator: THE END Utahraptor: Oh my GOD, T-Rex, I hate how long it took me to get that. T-Rex: Huh? Utahraptor: "Fine for misuse"! It took a bit to realize you're intentionally reading "fine" in the "acceptable" sense. For jokes! T-Rex: Wait, what other sense does it have? Utahraptor: The penalty sense? The sense where if you misuse it, they track you down and it costs you money? T-Rex: Oh! T-Rex: OH. T-Rex: ....OH NO.
November 26, 2025 at 1:39 PM