PolyMaus
@polymaus.bsky.social
On the internet, no one knows you're a dog.
Hate to yuck anyone's holiday yum, but this seems tasteless.
December 28, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Hate to yuck anyone's holiday yum, but this seems tasteless.
8 year sobriety anniversary yesterday. Very hard to believe, as there was a time in my life when I couldn't go 8 hours without a drink. Highly recommend sobriety!
December 26, 2025 at 4:54 PM
8 year sobriety anniversary yesterday. Very hard to believe, as there was a time in my life when I couldn't go 8 hours without a drink. Highly recommend sobriety!
Sometimes I think back to nearly a decade ago when the word "cuck" had an absolute stranglehold on online culture. You couldn't go 10 posts in any forum or online community without seeing it. "My wife's boyfriend" was an instant comedy phrase no matter what followed it.
December 24, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Sometimes I think back to nearly a decade ago when the word "cuck" had an absolute stranglehold on online culture. You couldn't go 10 posts in any forum or online community without seeing it. "My wife's boyfriend" was an instant comedy phrase no matter what followed it.
My "This car had gay sex with Optimus Prime" bumper sticker has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my bumper sticker.
December 23, 2025 at 5:05 PM
My "This car had gay sex with Optimus Prime" bumper sticker has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my bumper sticker.
Reminder: don't buy anything in the Steam Winter Sale until you've cleared out everything you want to play in your backlog! I'm not gonna do it but you guys definitely should!
December 22, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Reminder: don't buy anything in the Steam Winter Sale until you've cleared out everything you want to play in your backlog! I'm not gonna do it but you guys definitely should!
Reposted by PolyMaus
Black Friday: I don't need to start Christmas shopping now, Christmas is ages away.
11/30: Still plenty of time before Christmas.
12/10: I still have tons of time!
12/20: Oh no
11/30: Still plenty of time before Christmas.
12/10: I still have tons of time!
12/20: Oh no
December 20, 2023 at 4:57 PM
Black Friday: I don't need to start Christmas shopping now, Christmas is ages away.
11/30: Still plenty of time before Christmas.
12/10: I still have tons of time!
12/20: Oh no
11/30: Still plenty of time before Christmas.
12/10: I still have tons of time!
12/20: Oh no
Going into 2026 like...
December 18, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Going into 2026 like...
Wikipedia is the worst, most biased form of information on the internet (aside from all the other ones)
December 16, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Wikipedia is the worst, most biased form of information on the internet (aside from all the other ones)
Me when I'm trying to remember the nationality of the famous band known as The Killers
american(?)
December 15, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Me when I'm trying to remember the nationality of the famous band known as The Killers
Too horny to sleep
Too sleepy to horn
Too sleepy to horn
December 2, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Too horny to sleep
Too sleepy to horn
Too sleepy to horn
I have a confession to make: every time I've heard Paul Thomas Anderson mentioned I pictured Paul F. Tompkins instead. Apologies to all parties involved.
November 27, 2025 at 8:43 PM
I have a confession to make: every time I've heard Paul Thomas Anderson mentioned I pictured Paul F. Tompkins instead. Apologies to all parties involved.
If I actually posted my Star Wars rankings on here I would never live it down. I might be tracked down and tortured. And honestly I could deserve it.
November 25, 2025 at 5:14 PM
If I actually posted my Star Wars rankings on here I would never live it down. I might be tracked down and tortured. And honestly I could deserve it.
You're kidnapped. The characters from the last show you watched are coming to rescue you.
He would definitely be able to, but man, considering how he "rescued" his mentor who he loved as a mother, it might be over for me.
He would definitely be able to, but man, considering how he "rescued" his mentor who he loved as a mother, it might be over for me.
November 25, 2025 at 5:05 PM
You're kidnapped. The characters from the last show you watched are coming to rescue you.
He would definitely be able to, but man, considering how he "rescued" his mentor who he loved as a mother, it might be over for me.
He would definitely be able to, but man, considering how he "rescued" his mentor who he loved as a mother, it might be over for me.
Date idea: we go to a café and I tell you all the best tweets and posts I can remember. You laugh at them and tell me I'm very intelligent and funny for being able to remember all of these great posts.
November 22, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Date idea: we go to a café and I tell you all the best tweets and posts I can remember. You laugh at them and tell me I'm very intelligent and funny for being able to remember all of these great posts.
This one really gave me the giggles!
November 18, 2025 at 5:21 PM
This one really gave me the giggles!
I have been kicked out of several bars, but never banned to my knowledge. A couple times was for being too drunk, but other times I just got caught bringing in alcohol from outside (bar/club prices are outrageous). Nearing on 8 years of sobriety now though!
Yall ever been kicked out of a bar or club? Like are you banned from anywhere. 😂
November 13, 2025 at 4:47 PM
I have been kicked out of several bars, but never banned to my knowledge. A couple times was for being too drunk, but other times I just got caught bringing in alcohol from outside (bar/club prices are outrageous). Nearing on 8 years of sobriety now though!
Reddit has its problems, but one thing I really appreciate is that you auto-upvote (like) your own post. Of course I like it, why else would I be posting it? Wish it wasn't tacky to like your own post everywhere else.
November 12, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Reddit has its problems, but one thing I really appreciate is that you auto-upvote (like) your own post. Of course I like it, why else would I be posting it? Wish it wasn't tacky to like your own post everywhere else.
It happened again. I am taking a hiatus on cherry tomatoes at work for the foreseeable future.
Got unlucky on a couple cherry tomatoes in the work cafeteria. Might not be able to keep my lunch down for the rest of the day.
November 12, 2025 at 4:58 PM
It happened again. I am taking a hiatus on cherry tomatoes at work for the foreseeable future.
Saw a few others with the George Costanza avatar, needed to spice it up a little.
November 11, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Saw a few others with the George Costanza avatar, needed to spice it up a little.
After playing a few hours of EU5 here's my impression: game is not working correctly. And the parts that are working correctly aren't explained well so people think they aren't working correctly. I'm gonna keep playing through it though, I'm hooked!
November 7, 2025 at 4:51 PM
After playing a few hours of EU5 here's my impression: game is not working correctly. And the parts that are working correctly aren't explained well so people think they aren't working correctly. I'm gonna keep playing through it though, I'm hooked!
No, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the government, and I'm taking it out on you. Learn the difference, IDIOT.
October 31, 2025 at 3:59 PM
No, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the government, and I'm taking it out on you. Learn the difference, IDIOT.
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
October 31, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Heavy lies the finger which scrolls the doom
October 30, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Heavy lies the finger which scrolls the doom
The hottest thing a girl can do is contribute to the declining birth rate
October 25, 2025 at 3:12 PM
The hottest thing a girl can do is contribute to the declining birth rate