JustAPigeon
@pigeonxphoenix.bsky.social
Writer. CSA Survivor. Neurodevelopment Therapist. Bean Counter. Proud BTS Fan (ARMY) Sharing the journey as I work towards the elusive state of being healed.
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Introducing… Pigeon, not Phoenix. I’m not rising from ashes—I’m a survivor, plain and simple. My journey isn’t about grand transformations. It’s about the raw, messy reality of healing, with all its beautiful, complex, unpolished truths. 1/3
This isn’t an essay written from clarity. It’s written from the space just before it, the place where fear coils, the past whispers, and the truth dares to speak. If you’ve ever sat quietly with something you knew would change everything, this might feel familiar. The link is in the comments below.
July 22, 2025 at 10:53 PM
This isn’t an essay written from clarity. It’s written from the space just before it, the place where fear coils, the past whispers, and the truth dares to speak. If you’ve ever sat quietly with something you knew would change everything, this might feel familiar. The link is in the comments below.
I have been relatively silent on here because life has been busy, and I haven't been able to keep up with things... It's made me realise that perhaps I don't need to have so many social media accounts and just stick to one... I know there are a few people here I chat with a little in the comments 🧵
July 18, 2025 at 8:30 AM
I have been relatively silent on here because life has been busy, and I haven't been able to keep up with things... It's made me realise that perhaps I don't need to have so many social media accounts and just stick to one... I know there are a few people here I chat with a little in the comments 🧵
I wrote this piece before it got busy… it’s not easy to admit that even as an adult, you still seek some mothering. Link is in the comments below.
July 1, 2025 at 11:44 AM
I wrote this piece before it got busy… it’s not easy to admit that even as an adult, you still seek some mothering. Link is in the comments below.
I never thought seeing clearly would be the thing that confused me most. I used to think healing would make things simpler. It hasn’t. But it’s made things truer. Link is below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
June 16, 2025 at 11:18 PM
I never thought seeing clearly would be the thing that confused me most. I used to think healing would make things simpler. It hasn’t. But it’s made things truer. Link is below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
I find discussing money uncomfortable. I really do. Especially when it comes to what I want for something. A price I feel is fair. I will freak out before I say anything and will find the most unconfronting way to relay my message on. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
June 13, 2025 at 8:13 AM
I find discussing money uncomfortable. I really do. Especially when it comes to what I want for something. A price I feel is fair. I will freak out before I say anything and will find the most unconfronting way to relay my message on. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
I’ve only ever known how to mother by being in their faces—my love is almost suffocating.
Now I’m learning how to do it from across the world.
And I’m not very good at it!
New piece: I Would Still Hover If I Could
Mothering from a distance when you’ve only ever known how to be in their face. #CSA 🧵
Now I’m learning how to do it from across the world.
And I’m not very good at it!
New piece: I Would Still Hover If I Could
Mothering from a distance when you’ve only ever known how to be in their face. #CSA 🧵
June 7, 2025 at 6:45 AM
I’ve only ever known how to mother by being in their faces—my love is almost suffocating.
Now I’m learning how to do it from across the world.
And I’m not very good at it!
New piece: I Would Still Hover If I Could
Mothering from a distance when you’ve only ever known how to be in their face. #CSA 🧵
Now I’m learning how to do it from across the world.
And I’m not very good at it!
New piece: I Would Still Hover If I Could
Mothering from a distance when you’ve only ever known how to be in their face. #CSA 🧵
The adult sits on the wall, legs swinging, licking her ice cream.
The little girl sidles up.
Not saying a word, the adult hands an ice cream over. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
The little girl sidles up.
Not saying a word, the adult hands an ice cream over. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
June 6, 2025 at 9:51 AM
The adult sits on the wall, legs swinging, licking her ice cream.
The little girl sidles up.
Not saying a word, the adult hands an ice cream over. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
The little girl sidles up.
Not saying a word, the adult hands an ice cream over. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
For most of my life, I didn’t know how to want more. Just getting through was enough. But lately, life has been offering something new. I wrote about what it feels like when survival is no longer the only thing on the menu. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky the link is in the comments below.
May 30, 2025 at 8:19 AM
For most of my life, I didn’t know how to want more. Just getting through was enough. But lately, life has been offering something new. I wrote about what it feels like when survival is no longer the only thing on the menu. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky the link is in the comments below.
I wrote about friendship, self-worth, and the ache that sometimes lingers long after the healing has begun.
It’s a quiet piece, for anyone who’s ever felt like they were still standing at the fence, wondering why they weren’t asked to play.
Link below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
It’s a quiet piece, for anyone who’s ever felt like they were still standing at the fence, wondering why they weren’t asked to play.
Link below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
May 22, 2025 at 10:53 AM
I wrote about friendship, self-worth, and the ache that sometimes lingers long after the healing has begun.
It’s a quiet piece, for anyone who’s ever felt like they were still standing at the fence, wondering why they weren’t asked to play.
Link below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
It’s a quiet piece, for anyone who’s ever felt like they were still standing at the fence, wondering why they weren’t asked to play.
Link below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
I’ve had one of those weeks. Panic attacks, failed bread, and moments of realising I’m not where I thought I’d be. But here I am, figuring it out. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky Link is in the comments below.
May 19, 2025 at 8:59 AM
I’ve had one of those weeks. Panic attacks, failed bread, and moments of realising I’m not where I thought I’d be. But here I am, figuring it out. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky Link is in the comments below.
Mother’s Day for many is a day of celebration but not all of us are so lucky. I wrote about the war within and the small comforts that carry us when the people we needed could not give what we sought. The link is in the comments below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
May 10, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Mother’s Day for many is a day of celebration but not all of us are so lucky. I wrote about the war within and the small comforts that carry us when the people we needed could not give what we sought. The link is in the comments below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
I wrote a long note about the idea of throwing children into the deep end to build resilience and why I refuse to do that. I spent most of my life doing everything from a place of fear because of what I went through. I won’t let that be the foundation my children grow from. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
May 8, 2025 at 8:00 AM
I wrote a long note about the idea of throwing children into the deep end to build resilience and why I refuse to do that. I spent most of my life doing everything from a place of fear because of what I went through. I won’t let that be the foundation my children grow from. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
I’ve been told I’m good at what I do. The hardest part is believing it. I wrote about that feeling, and the quiet shame that still lingers. The link is in the comments below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
May 7, 2025 at 3:37 AM
I’ve been told I’m good at what I do. The hardest part is believing it. I wrote about that feeling, and the quiet shame that still lingers. The link is in the comments below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
My brain, like most who have walked a similar path, tends to see danger before it sees anything else. When I feel a sensation in my body or I start getting anxious, there is no warning, nor is there a gentle ease into it. I go from 0 to 10 at a great rate of knots. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
May 6, 2025 at 11:47 AM
My brain, like most who have walked a similar path, tends to see danger before it sees anything else. When I feel a sensation in my body or I start getting anxious, there is no warning, nor is there a gentle ease into it. I go from 0 to 10 at a great rate of knots. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 🧵
While I was away, I had a therapy session. It had already been booked and I didn’t want to cancel.
I ended up revealing something I hadn’t spoken of until that moment, and I saw the shock on her face. She didn’t ask why I’d never mentioned it before. She just asked how I felt now that I had. #CSA 🧵
I ended up revealing something I hadn’t spoken of until that moment, and I saw the shock on her face. She didn’t ask why I’d never mentioned it before. She just asked how I felt now that I had. #CSA 🧵
May 5, 2025 at 12:34 PM
While I was away, I had a therapy session. It had already been booked and I didn’t want to cancel.
I ended up revealing something I hadn’t spoken of until that moment, and I saw the shock on her face. She didn’t ask why I’d never mentioned it before. She just asked how I felt now that I had. #CSA 🧵
I ended up revealing something I hadn’t spoken of until that moment, and I saw the shock on her face. She didn’t ask why I’d never mentioned it before. She just asked how I felt now that I had. #CSA 🧵
I don’t know how to process compliments. I received a few this weekend at work and realised I downplay them. I don’t accept them graciously.
Even when kind words are spoken, I refuse to believe they’re sincere or that the person truly means it. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/3
Even when kind words are spoken, I refuse to believe they’re sincere or that the person truly means it. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/3
May 4, 2025 at 9:32 AM
I don’t know how to process compliments. I received a few this weekend at work and realised I downplay them. I don’t accept them graciously.
Even when kind words are spoken, I refuse to believe they’re sincere or that the person truly means it. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/3
Even when kind words are spoken, I refuse to believe they’re sincere or that the person truly means it. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/3
This took me a while to write. It’s a sensitive topic, but it’s my truth, so I guess this is me being brave. Link is in the comments. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSKY 1/2
April 28, 2025 at 10:15 AM
This took me a while to write. It’s a sensitive topic, but it’s my truth, so I guess this is me being brave. Link is in the comments. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSKY 1/2
I caught up with someone who came into my life in an unexpected way and has ended up becoming a safe space.
If you’d told me three years ago that our friendship would evolve into what it is now, I would’ve said, “Impossible.” #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/7
If you’d told me three years ago that our friendship would evolve into what it is now, I would’ve said, “Impossible.” #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/7
April 23, 2025 at 11:06 AM
I caught up with someone who came into my life in an unexpected way and has ended up becoming a safe space.
If you’d told me three years ago that our friendship would evolve into what it is now, I would’ve said, “Impossible.” #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/7
If you’d told me three years ago that our friendship would evolve into what it is now, I would’ve said, “Impossible.” #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/7
This one's about family, boundaries, shame, and how I’ve learned to protect my peace in a way that doesn’t look bold, but still counts. Some soft thoughts from me today. The link is below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
April 19, 2025 at 7:17 AM
This one's about family, boundaries, shame, and how I’ve learned to protect my peace in a way that doesn’t look bold, but still counts. Some soft thoughts from me today. The link is below. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky
There is nothing more restful than being able to say to someone, "I'm really struggling today, would it be okay if we postponed meeting up?" #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/3
April 15, 2025 at 10:45 AM
There is nothing more restful than being able to say to someone, "I'm really struggling today, would it be okay if we postponed meeting up?" #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/3
Today, I wrestled with holding my boundaries in a situation that left me wondering whether doing so made me a bad daughter—or just a bad person. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/4
April 14, 2025 at 8:27 AM
Today, I wrestled with holding my boundaries in a situation that left me wondering whether doing so made me a bad daughter—or just a bad person. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/4
Reposted by JustAPigeon
Saying, “just get over it” isn’t insightful, it’s not even useful. It offers zero actionable advice. It’s just a sh*tty way to shame someone. Do better.
Trauma survivors need to be heard; never underestimate the healing power of listening, being patient, attentive & kind.
#cptsd #dobetter❤️🩹
Trauma survivors need to be heard; never underestimate the healing power of listening, being patient, attentive & kind.
#cptsd #dobetter❤️🩹
April 13, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Saying, “just get over it” isn’t insightful, it’s not even useful. It offers zero actionable advice. It’s just a sh*tty way to shame someone. Do better.
Trauma survivors need to be heard; never underestimate the healing power of listening, being patient, attentive & kind.
#cptsd #dobetter❤️🩹
Trauma survivors need to be heard; never underestimate the healing power of listening, being patient, attentive & kind.
#cptsd #dobetter❤️🩹
I’ve never been shy about saying I used alcohol as a crutch during social events. Insecurity used to scream loudly. But last night—not for the first time—I socialised without needing alcohol to numb or block. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/4
April 13, 2025 at 5:24 AM
I’ve never been shy about saying I used alcohol as a crutch during social events. Insecurity used to scream loudly. But last night—not for the first time—I socialised without needing alcohol to numb or block. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/4
Today's lesson was to put myself out there. I was scared of sounding stupid. Something I struggle with a lot. However, if I hadn't had that conversation, I wouldn't have been able to get the ball rolling towards a goal of mine. So, I did it. Now? I feel stupid for waiting so long. #CSA
April 10, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Today's lesson was to put myself out there. I was scared of sounding stupid. Something I struggle with a lot. However, if I hadn't had that conversation, I wouldn't have been able to get the ball rolling towards a goal of mine. So, I did it. Now? I feel stupid for waiting so long. #CSA
I didn’t realise what writing meant to me until I heard myself say it out loud: “It’s the only way I feel comfortable speaking again.” This piece is about voice, silence, and what slowly grew from both. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/2 - link is below
April 8, 2025 at 8:03 AM
I didn’t realise what writing meant to me until I heard myself say it out loud: “It’s the only way I feel comfortable speaking again.” This piece is about voice, silence, and what slowly grew from both. #CSA #CSAsurvivorSky 1/2 - link is below