Phoke
@phoke.bsky.social
Finding my therapeutic flow. Straight white guy. Posts on male trauma, IFS, Individuation. Healing starts with reparations.
Pinned
Phoke
@phoke.bsky.social
· Feb 1
Everyone is always some degree of #woke.
Wokeness is feeling Curiosity, Compassion, Clarity, Connected, Creativity, Courage, Confidence, or Calm.
IFS calls “Woke” “Self”.
Never fully woke nor fully automatic. We are always faux-woke, in search of what heals us.
We are phoke (pronounced folk).
Wokeness is feeling Curiosity, Compassion, Clarity, Connected, Creativity, Courage, Confidence, or Calm.
IFS calls “Woke” “Self”.
Never fully woke nor fully automatic. We are always faux-woke, in search of what heals us.
We are phoke (pronounced folk).
Use the tools of the oppressor you become the oppressor. So how do you do to stop injustice?
Oppressor tools:
Power
Fighting
Control
Laws
Order
and Fear
Anti-Oppression tools:
Self-compassion
witnessing
loving accountability
embodied presence
and the awe of deep, fluid emotions
Oppressor tools:
Power
Fighting
Control
Laws
Order
and Fear
Anti-Oppression tools:
Self-compassion
witnessing
loving accountability
embodied presence
and the awe of deep, fluid emotions
February 5, 2026 at 11:27 AM
Use the tools of the oppressor you become the oppressor. So how do you do to stop injustice?
Oppressor tools:
Power
Fighting
Control
Laws
Order
and Fear
Anti-Oppression tools:
Self-compassion
witnessing
loving accountability
embodied presence
and the awe of deep, fluid emotions
Oppressor tools:
Power
Fighting
Control
Laws
Order
and Fear
Anti-Oppression tools:
Self-compassion
witnessing
loving accountability
embodied presence
and the awe of deep, fluid emotions
#Sinners is a two watch minimum.
The first watch its half slice of life half horror?
But the second watch slaps you upside the GD face.
IT STARTS WHERE IT ENDS.
The horror never stopped.
It’s the horror we see, and ignore, everyday
vs the horror we imagine after dark.
The first watch its half slice of life half horror?
But the second watch slaps you upside the GD face.
IT STARTS WHERE IT ENDS.
The horror never stopped.
It’s the horror we see, and ignore, everyday
vs the horror we imagine after dark.
December 28, 2025 at 12:02 PM
#Sinners is a two watch minimum.
The first watch its half slice of life half horror?
But the second watch slaps you upside the GD face.
IT STARTS WHERE IT ENDS.
The horror never stopped.
It’s the horror we see, and ignore, everyday
vs the horror we imagine after dark.
The first watch its half slice of life half horror?
But the second watch slaps you upside the GD face.
IT STARTS WHERE IT ENDS.
The horror never stopped.
It’s the horror we see, and ignore, everyday
vs the horror we imagine after dark.
crewjanci.com/practice-area/mormon-abuse/
When so many survivors stories rhyme its not coincidence, its a systemic policy from to top-down from its founder to current leaders and includes its members.
Mormons are the real #pizzaGate
When so many survivors stories rhyme its not coincidence, its a systemic policy from to top-down from its founder to current leaders and includes its members.
Mormons are the real #pizzaGate
Mormon Sexual Abuse Lawyers - LDS Church Sexual Abuse | Crew Janci
Are you a victim of sexual abuse in the Mormon church (LDS church)? Talk to our experienced sexual abuse lawyers at (888) 407-0224 to explore your legal options.
crewjanci.com
December 15, 2025 at 1:44 PM
crewjanci.com/practice-area/mormon-abuse/
When so many survivors stories rhyme its not coincidence, its a systemic policy from to top-down from its founder to current leaders and includes its members.
Mormons are the real #pizzaGate
When so many survivors stories rhyme its not coincidence, its a systemic policy from to top-down from its founder to current leaders and includes its members.
Mormons are the real #pizzaGate
Validation is so critical we hurt others to get it.
When I divorced my wife, my family isolated me. So I stopped talking to them. But it doesn’t heal.
Seeing them isolated was subconsciously validating.
Seeing someone in my same pain ment my pain really did exist.
When I divorced my wife, my family isolated me. So I stopped talking to them. But it doesn’t heal.
Seeing them isolated was subconsciously validating.
Seeing someone in my same pain ment my pain really did exist.
November 28, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Validation is so critical we hurt others to get it.
When I divorced my wife, my family isolated me. So I stopped talking to them. But it doesn’t heal.
Seeing them isolated was subconsciously validating.
Seeing someone in my same pain ment my pain really did exist.
When I divorced my wife, my family isolated me. So I stopped talking to them. But it doesn’t heal.
Seeing them isolated was subconsciously validating.
Seeing someone in my same pain ment my pain really did exist.
“This is the best set of white folks we’ve ever had, in the entire history of black America.
This is the most woke.
This is the least racist.
This is the most aware group that we’ve ever had. People who are in power and privileged and could look away but are not looking away.” - Ta-Nehisi Coates
This is the most woke.
This is the least racist.
This is the most aware group that we’ve ever had. People who are in power and privileged and could look away but are not looking away.” - Ta-Nehisi Coates
October 8, 2025 at 11:45 AM
“This is the best set of white folks we’ve ever had, in the entire history of black America.
This is the most woke.
This is the least racist.
This is the most aware group that we’ve ever had. People who are in power and privileged and could look away but are not looking away.” - Ta-Nehisi Coates
This is the most woke.
This is the least racist.
This is the most aware group that we’ve ever had. People who are in power and privileged and could look away but are not looking away.” - Ta-Nehisi Coates
Today’s koan,
Are you Buddha?
Are you Buddha?
October 6, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Today’s koan,
Are you Buddha?
Are you Buddha?
Help me out folks. Which one sounds better?
I asked for a trial separation because my husband is emotionally abusive to myself and my girls.
or
I asked for a trial separation because my wife is emotionally abusive to myself and my girls.
I asked for a trial separation because my husband is emotionally abusive to myself and my girls.
or
I asked for a trial separation because my wife is emotionally abusive to myself and my girls.
September 30, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Help me out folks. Which one sounds better?
I asked for a trial separation because my husband is emotionally abusive to myself and my girls.
or
I asked for a trial separation because my wife is emotionally abusive to myself and my girls.
I asked for a trial separation because my husband is emotionally abusive to myself and my girls.
or
I asked for a trial separation because my wife is emotionally abusive to myself and my girls.
What if Jesus’s suffering in the Graden of Gethsemane was him modeling the awakening we all can feel?
Jesus was woke.
Jesus was woke.
September 7, 2025 at 3:56 PM
What if Jesus’s suffering in the Graden of Gethsemane was him modeling the awakening we all can feel?
Jesus was woke.
Jesus was woke.
“When you embrace your suffering with mindfulness, you discover that your suffering carries within it the suffering of your father, your mother, and your ancestors, as well as the suffering of your people, your nation, and the world.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
September 7, 2025 at 2:59 PM
“When you embrace your suffering with mindfulness, you discover that your suffering carries within it the suffering of your father, your mother, and your ancestors, as well as the suffering of your people, your nation, and the world.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
We are constantly in fear, in re-traumatization.
Politicians re-traumatize us.
Movies re-traumatize us.
Social media re-traumatize us.
Our friends re-traumatize us.
Healing comes through completing the original fear.
Fear is the search for what heals.
Politicians re-traumatize us.
Movies re-traumatize us.
Social media re-traumatize us.
Our friends re-traumatize us.
Healing comes through completing the original fear.
Fear is the search for what heals.
Kendrick Lamar's Most Vulnerable Verse | Dissecting "Mother I Sober" [Part 2]
Our season-long analysis of Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers continues with Part 2 of “Mother I Sober” — the album’s emotional and spiritual climax. In this swe...
youtu.be
July 9, 2025 at 2:38 AM
We are constantly in fear, in re-traumatization.
Politicians re-traumatize us.
Movies re-traumatize us.
Social media re-traumatize us.
Our friends re-traumatize us.
Healing comes through completing the original fear.
Fear is the search for what heals.
Politicians re-traumatize us.
Movies re-traumatize us.
Social media re-traumatize us.
Our friends re-traumatize us.
Healing comes through completing the original fear.
Fear is the search for what heals.
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youtu.be
June 22, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Who had 152 on their bingo card?
June 22, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Who had 152 on their bingo card?
The Power of Listening | Cole Cuchna | TEDxBerkeley
YouTube video by TEDx Talks
youtu.be
April 6, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Regram: newly
arrived baby
razor wire
arrived baby
razor wire
March 30, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Regram: newly
arrived baby
razor wire
arrived baby
razor wire
“Mythic roles labels like “parent” carry cultural power.” - Lindsay C Gibson, PsyD
My teenager kids struggle in therapy to see how I shamed and neglected them as a little kid.
Asking them to call me by my first name instead of “dad” gives them permission to see my failings.
My teenager kids struggle in therapy to see how I shamed and neglected them as a little kid.
Asking them to call me by my first name instead of “dad” gives them permission to see my failings.
March 30, 2025 at 11:20 AM
“Mythic roles labels like “parent” carry cultural power.” - Lindsay C Gibson, PsyD
My teenager kids struggle in therapy to see how I shamed and neglected them as a little kid.
Asking them to call me by my first name instead of “dad” gives them permission to see my failings.
My teenager kids struggle in therapy to see how I shamed and neglected them as a little kid.
Asking them to call me by my first name instead of “dad” gives them permission to see my failings.
There’s so much pain in America.
And more is coming.
I pray you have a safe place to pause and cry. Allowing the feeling is how we embrace our humanity.
And more is coming.
I pray you have a safe place to pause and cry. Allowing the feeling is how we embrace our humanity.
March 29, 2025 at 11:19 PM
There’s so much pain in America.
And more is coming.
I pray you have a safe place to pause and cry. Allowing the feeling is how we embrace our humanity.
And more is coming.
I pray you have a safe place to pause and cry. Allowing the feeling is how we embrace our humanity.
What’s so exciting you’d wake up at 4AM to do?
March 29, 2025 at 3:14 PM
What’s so exciting you’d wake up at 4AM to do?
When you’re the hero of your own life why would you sleep in?
March 29, 2025 at 3:14 PM
When you’re the hero of your own life why would you sleep in?
Just unpacking your life.
Learning from life is peace and enlightenment.
Finding the pieces in yourself that others have already found inside them.
Learning from life is peace and enlightenment.
Finding the pieces in yourself that others have already found inside them.
March 29, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Just unpacking your life.
Learning from life is peace and enlightenment.
Finding the pieces in yourself that others have already found inside them.
Learning from life is peace and enlightenment.
Finding the pieces in yourself that others have already found inside them.
Listening to Ross Gay talk feels both validating and wrong. Men aren’t allowed to have feelings unless we’re offered an exception.
March 28, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Listening to Ross Gay talk feels both validating and wrong. Men aren’t allowed to have feelings unless we’re offered an exception.
As a white male I’m only permitted to provide, protect, and calm everyone else down.
Not being allowed have needs or ask for my needs.
Maybe it sucks to be triangulated against using my own daughters.
Maybe that’s why I don’t want to give you a hug. Regulate yourself for once.
Not being allowed have needs or ask for my needs.
Maybe it sucks to be triangulated against using my own daughters.
Maybe that’s why I don’t want to give you a hug. Regulate yourself for once.
March 28, 2025 at 2:48 AM
As a white male I’m only permitted to provide, protect, and calm everyone else down.
Not being allowed have needs or ask for my needs.
Maybe it sucks to be triangulated against using my own daughters.
Maybe that’s why I don’t want to give you a hug. Regulate yourself for once.
Not being allowed have needs or ask for my needs.
Maybe it sucks to be triangulated against using my own daughters.
Maybe that’s why I don’t want to give you a hug. Regulate yourself for once.