Mike Phillips
@phikemillips.bsky.social
From Beyond Press EIC, shitposter, reader, music listener, writer, in approximately that order. Human sized piñata stuffed with cheese and anxiety. he/him
I am never here. I decided to do my shitposting on the press's account, since I am it and it is me.
August 19, 2025 at 3:03 AM
I am never here. I decided to do my shitposting on the press's account, since I am it and it is me.
Oh, so THAT's what it feels like to get 150 hostile emails in the span of a couple hours.
April 2, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Oh, so THAT's what it feels like to get 150 hostile emails in the span of a couple hours.
I took myself to the opera.
March 23, 2025 at 12:20 AM
I took myself to the opera.
My least favorite part about my day job is telling faculty members that an emergency for them is not necessarily an emergency for me.
March 18, 2025 at 2:09 PM
My least favorite part about my day job is telling faculty members that an emergency for them is not necessarily an emergency for me.
Reposted by Mike Phillips
the gun is always loaded
there's a fed in every chat
your phone's a beacon telling
every cop right where you're at
your bluesky feed is archived
and your twitch they're watching live
so watch your mouth in public
if your ass plans to survive.
there's a fed in every chat
your phone's a beacon telling
every cop right where you're at
your bluesky feed is archived
and your twitch they're watching live
so watch your mouth in public
if your ass plans to survive.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: just like every gun is always loaded, there is a fed in every chat
Anecdotal, but I'm definitely noticing an uptick in advocacy for violence here. About which I'll say only this: Promoting violence on social media is the work of trolls and fools, those eager to bait others into implicating themselves in the age of surveillance or fools rushing to the gulag.
March 16, 2025 at 9:43 PM
the gun is always loaded
there's a fed in every chat
your phone's a beacon telling
every cop right where you're at
your bluesky feed is archived
and your twitch they're watching live
so watch your mouth in public
if your ass plans to survive.
there's a fed in every chat
your phone's a beacon telling
every cop right where you're at
your bluesky feed is archived
and your twitch they're watching live
so watch your mouth in public
if your ass plans to survive.
I met Ray Bradbury when I was in high school. I told him "I'm a writer too." He replied, "that's nice" and turned to talk to someone else. Not much has changed since then.
March 17, 2025 at 2:00 AM
I met Ray Bradbury when I was in high school. I told him "I'm a writer too." He replied, "that's nice" and turned to talk to someone else. Not much has changed since then.
I see a butterfly. Or a weird sign. Or a dad carrying his baby in a moby. I take a photo. And I miss having someone to send it to.
February 28, 2025 at 6:07 PM
I see a butterfly. Or a weird sign. Or a dad carrying his baby in a moby. I take a photo. And I miss having someone to send it to.
One year since my mom died.
February 25, 2025 at 6:54 PM
One year since my mom died.
I AM THE KING OF HYBRID CONFERENCES! BOW DOWN, ALL YE PANELISTS. BOW DOWN!
February 16, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I AM THE KING OF HYBRID CONFERENCES! BOW DOWN, ALL YE PANELISTS. BOW DOWN!
First time eating Somali food. It was excellent.
February 16, 2025 at 3:06 AM
First time eating Somali food. It was excellent.
I took myself to the symphony for Valentine's Day.
February 15, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I took myself to the symphony for Valentine's Day.
I bought a box of around a hundred 45s. Almost all songs I've never heard before. Every night, I sit in my comfy chair in the basement and listen to a handful while sipping whiskey. I swear it's the only thing holding me together lately.
February 10, 2025 at 3:56 AM
I bought a box of around a hundred 45s. Almost all songs I've never heard before. Every night, I sit in my comfy chair in the basement and listen to a handful while sipping whiskey. I swear it's the only thing holding me together lately.
My dog doesn't have much of a sense of humor. Every time he barks or otherwise tries to get my attention, I ask him, "Is Timmy stuck in the well?" And he never laughs.
February 6, 2025 at 11:22 PM
My dog doesn't have much of a sense of humor. Every time he barks or otherwise tries to get my attention, I ask him, "Is Timmy stuck in the well?" And he never laughs.
I just threatened to shiv my day job's new accounting system in the shower. So that's how my day is going.
February 6, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I just threatened to shiv my day job's new accounting system in the shower. So that's how my day is going.
My 10 favorite albums of 2024:
Zach Bryan - The Great American Bar Scene
Ayra Starr - The Year I Turned 21
Hurray for the Riff Raff - The Past Is Still Alive
Kim Gordon - The Collective
Tyler the Creator - Chromakopia
Being Dead - Eels
Waxahatchee - Tigers Blood
Brittany Howard - What Now
(1/2)
Zach Bryan - The Great American Bar Scene
Ayra Starr - The Year I Turned 21
Hurray for the Riff Raff - The Past Is Still Alive
Kim Gordon - The Collective
Tyler the Creator - Chromakopia
Being Dead - Eels
Waxahatchee - Tigers Blood
Brittany Howard - What Now
(1/2)
February 6, 2025 at 7:01 PM
My 10 favorite albums of 2024:
Zach Bryan - The Great American Bar Scene
Ayra Starr - The Year I Turned 21
Hurray for the Riff Raff - The Past Is Still Alive
Kim Gordon - The Collective
Tyler the Creator - Chromakopia
Being Dead - Eels
Waxahatchee - Tigers Blood
Brittany Howard - What Now
(1/2)
Zach Bryan - The Great American Bar Scene
Ayra Starr - The Year I Turned 21
Hurray for the Riff Raff - The Past Is Still Alive
Kim Gordon - The Collective
Tyler the Creator - Chromakopia
Being Dead - Eels
Waxahatchee - Tigers Blood
Brittany Howard - What Now
(1/2)
After spending 27 hours in the ER and hospital with my kid, who had a concussion, I can confidently say: fjkdsfjkljlkdsfjkldfsljkfdslkfj
February 4, 2025 at 11:29 PM
After spending 27 hours in the ER and hospital with my kid, who had a concussion, I can confidently say: fjkdsfjkljlkdsfjkldfsljkfdslkfj
I'm having a very hard time lately. Appreciating Romeo Void and Brigid Brophy, not much else.
January 29, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I'm having a very hard time lately. Appreciating Romeo Void and Brigid Brophy, not much else.
My kid's team won their hockey tournament. The opposing coach spent the last 11 minutes in the penalty box for verbally abusing the refs. Parents, your kids learn how to behave from you. Act like an adult.
January 26, 2025 at 6:08 PM
My kid's team won their hockey tournament. The opposing coach spent the last 11 minutes in the penalty box for verbally abusing the refs. Parents, your kids learn how to behave from you. Act like an adult.
My kid is playing in an outdoor hockey tournament. I am very cold.
January 24, 2025 at 11:54 PM
My kid is playing in an outdoor hockey tournament. I am very cold.
Rare photo of all three mammalian pets on the same bed.
January 15, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Rare photo of all three mammalian pets on the same bed.
The difference between good professors and bad professors is that good professors talk to the staff like they're humans and bad professors talk to the staff like they're machines that do service work.
January 13, 2025 at 5:38 PM
The difference between good professors and bad professors is that good professors talk to the staff like they're humans and bad professors talk to the staff like they're machines that do service work.
I cleaned the snow off my car with a hockey stick. I think I'm eligible for Canadian citizenship.
January 10, 2025 at 4:03 PM
I cleaned the snow off my car with a hockey stick. I think I'm eligible for Canadian citizenship.
Performance management midyear recalibration MOTHERFUCKER I WILL RUN AWAY INTO THE WOODS
January 9, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Performance management midyear recalibration MOTHERFUCKER I WILL RUN AWAY INTO THE WOODS
Happy birthday to me.
January 9, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Happy birthday to me.
I'm really enjoying this despite the previous owner's use of pen and two different highlighters to belabor every single point.
January 4, 2025 at 7:27 PM
I'm really enjoying this despite the previous owner's use of pen and two different highlighters to belabor every single point.