The Phantom Tollbooth Quotes
@phantomtollbot.bsky.social
Words and numbers are of equal value, for, in the cloak of knowledge, one is warp and the other woof. It is no more important to count the sands than it is to name the stars.
—
To read all its wit and wisdom, get a copy from a local bookstore or library.
—
To read all its wit and wisdom, get a copy from a local bookstore or library.
“I’m glad you made your own decision. I do so hate to make up my mind about anything, whether it’s good or bad, up or down, in or out, rain or shine. Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens.”
February 14, 2026 at 2:01 PM
“I’m glad you made your own decision. I do so hate to make up my mind about anything, whether it’s good or bad, up or down, in or out, rain or shine. Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens.”
“Splendid, splendid, splendid,” exclaimed the Whether Man. “Whether or not you find your own way, you’re bound to find some way. If you happen to find my way, please return it, as it was lost years ago. I imagine by now it’s quite rusty.“
February 13, 2026 at 11:01 PM
“Splendid, splendid, splendid,” exclaimed the Whether Man. “Whether or not you find your own way, you’re bound to find some way. If you happen to find my way, please return it, as it was lost years ago. I imagine by now it’s quite rusty.“
“Expectations is the place you must always go to before you get to where you’re going. Of course, some people never go beyond Expectations, but my job is to hurry them along whether they like it or not. Now what else can I do for you?”
February 13, 2026 at 8:03 PM
“Expectations is the place you must always go to before you get to where you’re going. Of course, some people never go beyond Expectations, but my job is to hurry them along whether they like it or not. Now what else can I do for you?”
“I thought you were the Weather Man,” said Milo, very confused.
“Oh no,” said the little man, “I’m the Whether Man, not the Weather Man, for after all it’s more important to know whether there will be weather than what the weather will be.”
“Oh no,” said the little man, “I’m the Whether Man, not the Weather Man, for after all it’s more important to know whether there will be weather than what the weather will be.”
February 13, 2026 at 5:05 PM
“I thought you were the Weather Man,” said Milo, very confused.
“Oh no,” said the little man, “I’m the Whether Man, not the Weather Man, for after all it’s more important to know whether there will be weather than what the weather will be.”
“Oh no,” said the little man, “I’m the Whether Man, not the Weather Man, for after all it’s more important to know whether there will be weather than what the weather will be.”
The sun sparkled, the sky was clear, and all the colors he saw seemed to be richer and brighter than he could ever remember. The flowers shone as if they’d been cleaned and polished, and the tall trees that lined the road shimmered in silvery green.
February 13, 2026 at 2:03 PM
The sun sparkled, the sky was clear, and all the colors he saw seemed to be richer and brighter than he could ever remember. The flowers shone as if they’d been cleaned and polished, and the tall trees that lined the road shimmered in silvery green.
For lack of anything better to do, Milo drove slowly up to the tollbooth. As he deposited his coin and rolled past he remarked wistfully, “I do hope this is an interesting game, otherwise the afternoon will be so terribly dull.”
February 12, 2026 at 11:01 PM
For lack of anything better to do, Milo drove slowly up to the tollbooth. As he deposited his coin and rolled past he remarked wistfully, “I do hope this is an interesting game, otherwise the afternoon will be so terribly dull.”
As the announcement stated, it was a beautiful map, in many colors, showing principal roads, rivers and seas, towns and cities, mountains and valleys, intersections and detours, and sites of outstanding interest both beautiful and historic.
February 12, 2026 at 8:01 PM
As the announcement stated, it was a beautiful map, in many colors, showing principal roads, rivers and seas, towns and cities, mountains and valleys, intersections and detours, and sites of outstanding interest both beautiful and historic.
And in smaller letters at the bottom it concluded:
“RESULTS ARE NOT GUARANTEED, BUT IF NOT PERFECTLY SATISFIED, YOUR WASTED TIME WILL BE REFUNDED.”
“RESULTS ARE NOT GUARANTEED, BUT IF NOT PERFECTLY SATISFIED, YOUR WASTED TIME WILL BE REFUNDED.”
February 12, 2026 at 5:06 PM
And in smaller letters at the bottom it concluded:
“RESULTS ARE NOT GUARANTEED, BUT IF NOT PERFECTLY SATISFIED, YOUR WASTED TIME WILL BE REFUNDED.”
“RESULTS ARE NOT GUARANTEED, BUT IF NOT PERFECTLY SATISFIED, YOUR WASTED TIME WILL BE REFUNDED.”
“I don’t think it’s my birthday,” he puzzled, “and Christmas must be months away, and I haven’t been outstandingly good, or even good at all.” (He had to admit this even to himself.) “Most probably I won’t like it anyway, but since I don’t know where it came from, I can’t possibly send it back.”
February 12, 2026 at 2:02 PM
“I don’t think it’s my birthday,” he puzzled, “and Christmas must be months away, and I haven’t been outstandingly good, or even good at all.” (He had to admit this even to himself.) “Most probably I won’t like it anyway, but since I don’t know where it came from, I can’t possibly send it back.”
“And worst of all,” he continued sadly, “there’s nothing for me to do, nowhere I’d care to go, and hardly anything worth seeing.” He punctuated this last thought with such a deep sigh that a house sparrow singing nearby stopped and rushed home to be with his family.
February 11, 2026 at 11:01 PM
“And worst of all,” he continued sadly, “there’s nothing for me to do, nowhere I’d care to go, and hardly anything worth seeing.” He punctuated this last thought with such a deep sigh that a house sparrow singing nearby stopped and rushed home to be with his family.
As he and his unhappy thoughts hurried along (for while he was never anxious to be where he was going, he liked to get there as quickly as possible) it seemed a great wonder that the world, which was so large, could sometimes feel so small and empty.
February 11, 2026 at 8:01 PM
As he and his unhappy thoughts hurried along (for while he was never anxious to be where he was going, he liked to get there as quickly as possible) it seemed a great wonder that the world, which was so large, could sometimes feel so small and empty.
“I can’t see the point in learning to solve useless problems, or subtracting turnips from turnips, or knowing where Ethiopia is or how to spell February.”
And, since no one bothered to explain otherwise, he regarded the process of seeking knowledge as the greatest waste of time of all.
And, since no one bothered to explain otherwise, he regarded the process of seeking knowledge as the greatest waste of time of all.
February 11, 2026 at 5:03 PM
“I can’t see the point in learning to solve useless problems, or subtracting turnips from turnips, or knowing where Ethiopia is or how to spell February.”
And, since no one bothered to explain otherwise, he regarded the process of seeking knowledge as the greatest waste of time of all.
And, since no one bothered to explain otherwise, he regarded the process of seeking knowledge as the greatest waste of time of all.
There was once a boy named Milo who didn't know what to do with himself—not just sometimes, but always.
February 11, 2026 at 2:03 PM
There was once a boy named Milo who didn't know what to do with himself—not just sometimes, but always.
Reposted by The Phantom Tollbooth Quotes
How to connect to the human hivemind 📚
And, in the very room in which he sat, there were books that could take you anywhere, and things to invent, and make, and build, and break, and all the puzzle and excitement of everything he didn't know—music to play, songs to sing, and worlds to imagine and then someday make real.
February 10, 2026 at 11:25 PM
How to connect to the human hivemind 📚
Reposted by The Phantom Tollbooth Quotes
psst... bluesky... don't miss out. this is the best of books of books at their best.
Editor’s note: see you back here tomorrow for page 1
February 10, 2026 at 11:32 PM
psst... bluesky... don't miss out. this is the best of books of books at their best.
Editor’s note: see you back here tomorrow for page 1
February 10, 2026 at 11:30 PM
Editor’s note: see you back here tomorrow for page 1
His thoughts darted eagerly about as everything looked new— and worth trying.
"Well, I would like to make another trip," he said, jumping to his feet; "but I really don't know when I'll have the time. There's just so much to do right here."
"Well, I would like to make another trip," he said, jumping to his feet; "but I really don't know when I'll have the time. There's just so much to do right here."
February 10, 2026 at 11:02 PM
His thoughts darted eagerly about as everything looked new— and worth trying.
"Well, I would like to make another trip," he said, jumping to his feet; "but I really don't know when I'll have the time. There's just so much to do right here."
"Well, I would like to make another trip," he said, jumping to his feet; "but I really don't know when I'll have the time. There's just so much to do right here."
And, in the very room in which he sat, there were books that could take you anywhere, and things to invent, and make, and build, and break, and all the puzzle and excitement of everything he didn't know—music to play, songs to sing, and worlds to imagine and then someday make real.
February 10, 2026 at 8:02 PM
And, in the very room in which he sat, there were books that could take you anywhere, and things to invent, and make, and build, and break, and all the puzzle and excitement of everything he didn't know—music to play, songs to sing, and worlds to imagine and then someday make real.
Reposted by The Phantom Tollbooth Quotes
Me, when my kid asks me a tough question
February 10, 2026 at 3:23 PM
Me, when my kid asks me a tough question
Outside the window, there was so much to see, and hear, and touch—walks to take, hills to climb, caterpillars to watch as they strolled through the garden. There were voices to hear and conversations to listen to in wonder, and the special smell of each day.
February 10, 2026 at 5:06 PM
Outside the window, there was so much to see, and hear, and touch—walks to take, hills to climb, caterpillars to watch as they strolled through the garden. There were voices to hear and conversations to listen to in wonder, and the special smell of each day.
He noticed somehow that the sky was a lovely shade of blue and that one cloud had the shape of a sailing ship. The tips of the trees held pale, young buds and the leaves were a rich deep green.
February 10, 2026 at 2:03 PM
He noticed somehow that the sky was a lovely shade of blue and that one cloud had the shape of a sailing ship. The tips of the trees held pale, young buds and the leaves were a rich deep green.
Where the tollbooth had been just the night before, there was now nothing at all. He searched frantically throughout the apartment, but it had vanished just as mysteriously as it had come—and in its place was another bright-blue envelope, which was addressed simply:
"FOR MILO, WHO NOW KNOWS THE WAY"
"FOR MILO, WHO NOW KNOWS THE WAY"
February 9, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Where the tollbooth had been just the night before, there was now nothing at all. He searched frantically throughout the apartment, but it had vanished just as mysteriously as it had come—and in its place was another bright-blue envelope, which was addressed simply:
"FOR MILO, WHO NOW KNOWS THE WAY"
"FOR MILO, WHO NOW KNOWS THE WAY"
"It's only six o'clock," he observed with a yawn, and then, in a moment, he made an even more interesting discovery.
"And it's still today! I've been gone for only an hour!" he cried in amazement, for he'd certainly never realized how much he could do in so short a time.
"And it's still today! I've been gone for only an hour!" he cried in amazement, for he'd certainly never realized how much he could do in so short a time.
February 9, 2026 at 8:03 PM
"It's only six o'clock," he observed with a yawn, and then, in a moment, he made an even more interesting discovery.
"And it's still today! I've been gone for only an hour!" he cried in amazement, for he'd certainly never realized how much he could do in so short a time.
"And it's still today! I've been gone for only an hour!" he cried in amazement, for he'd certainly never realized how much he could do in so short a time.
The late-afternoon sun had turned now from a vivid yellow to a warm lazy orange, and it seemed almost as tired as he was. The road raced ahead in a series of gentle curves that began to look familiar, and off in the distance the solitary tollbooth appeared, a welcome sight indeed.
February 9, 2026 at 5:04 PM
The late-afternoon sun had turned now from a vivid yellow to a warm lazy orange, and it seemed almost as tired as he was. The road raced ahead in a series of gentle curves that began to look familiar, and off in the distance the solitary tollbooth appeared, a welcome sight indeed.
"Thank you for everything you've taught me," said Milo to everybody as a tear rolled down his cheek.
February 9, 2026 at 2:02 PM
"Thank you for everything you've taught me," said Milo to everybody as a tear rolled down his cheek.