Crooked Union Guy
@peezytx.bsky.social
Gov’t name: Pat Sirois. Comedian/Co-Host of The Lie, Cheat & Steal podcast
Pinned
These are the dumbest thoughts and ideas I’ve ever heard (a list in no particular order that I will add to as new entries occur to me):
1) when right wing media wants to paint Bernie Sanders as a super rich elite so they mention those 3 little ass house be owns
1) when right wing media wants to paint Bernie Sanders as a super rich elite so they mention those 3 little ass house be owns
She let me hit cuz I know all the words to the opening theme of The Nanny
January 26, 2026 at 3:21 AM
She let me hit cuz I know all the words to the opening theme of The Nanny
I have a bad habit of perusing the comment section on Fox News and these guys are breaking their brains over this one.
January 25, 2026 at 10:03 PM
I have a bad habit of perusing the comment section on Fox News and these guys are breaking their brains over this one.
I think they’re running out of feasible names for medicines
January 24, 2026 at 11:23 PM
I think they’re running out of feasible names for medicines
What you mean they don’t sell cigs at Whole Foods??
January 23, 2026 at 10:59 PM
What you mean they don’t sell cigs at Whole Foods??
Me to the cute girl also buying toilet paper:
“You too, huh?”
“You too, huh?”
January 23, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Me to the cute girl also buying toilet paper:
“You too, huh?”
“You too, huh?”
I live pretty in the mix south of downtown Austin and there’s a bunch of cool shit super close to my house but there’s a handful of spots like *super* close to my house. Like 70 feet to a bar, a block to a deli next to corner store and man… all three of them are kinda ass lol
January 22, 2026 at 2:55 AM
I live pretty in the mix south of downtown Austin and there’s a bunch of cool shit super close to my house but there’s a handful of spots like *super* close to my house. Like 70 feet to a bar, a block to a deli next to corner store and man… all three of them are kinda ass lol
The new Sandwich shop/bar next to the crib is kind of trash and it’s a bummer because it’s so close
January 22, 2026 at 2:18 AM
The new Sandwich shop/bar next to the crib is kind of trash and it’s a bummer because it’s so close
If you grew up broke and you think shit should be hard to broke people then I just think you’re stupid
But if you grew up with money and you think shit should be hard for broke people then I think you’re evil
But if you grew up with money and you think shit should be hard for broke people then I think you’re evil
January 22, 2026 at 12:44 AM
If you grew up broke and you think shit should be hard to broke people then I just think you’re stupid
But if you grew up with money and you think shit should be hard for broke people then I think you’re evil
But if you grew up with money and you think shit should be hard for broke people then I think you’re evil
It’s actually illegal for British people to criticize anyone for anything
January 21, 2026 at 5:18 PM
It’s actually illegal for British people to criticize anyone for anything
Get fucked you colonizing bitch ass nerd
I don't think the Americans, and yes, I mean all of you, are prepared for how hated you now are by everyone.
Its not going away folks. Youve lost all rights to speak to us without being told to go fuck yourselves.
Its not going away folks. Youve lost all rights to speak to us without being told to go fuck yourselves.
Lutnick heckled in Davos. FT: “The gathering on Tuesday night descended into uproar after combative remarks from Lutnick, the people said, with widespread jeering, some guests walking out and appeals for calm from Fink.”
January 21, 2026 at 5:10 PM
Get fucked you colonizing bitch ass nerd
Bout to smoke a joint, eat a gyro and watch this knight of the 7 kingdoms
January 21, 2026 at 4:00 AM
Bout to smoke a joint, eat a gyro and watch this knight of the 7 kingdoms
Listening to this Dateline episode about this lady that killed her husband and everyone is talking about how drop dead gorgeous she was and how she lured and seduced man after man into her life. The men themselves are like “Keith, I was powerless against her. She was too sexy” so I look her up and:
January 21, 2026 at 3:14 AM
Listening to this Dateline episode about this lady that killed her husband and everyone is talking about how drop dead gorgeous she was and how she lured and seduced man after man into her life. The men themselves are like “Keith, I was powerless against her. She was too sexy” so I look her up and:
Ran into a guy that used to come around who we now refer to as Butt Cancer. He seems to be doing okay
January 21, 2026 at 12:57 AM
Ran into a guy that used to come around who we now refer to as Butt Cancer. He seems to be doing okay
Shout out to Levar Burton
January 18, 2026 at 6:07 AM
Shout out to Levar Burton
Walking round the function with tajin in my beard hair
January 18, 2026 at 5:38 AM
Walking round the function with tajin in my beard hair
A Redneck version of the Rick Moranis classic called Honey I Done Shrunk The Kids
January 18, 2026 at 3:22 AM
A Redneck version of the Rick Moranis classic called Honey I Done Shrunk The Kids
I’m in a low stakes beef with a guy at work who’s simultaneously trying to paint me as a lumbering brute and a gay ass libtard. Like buddy just admit that you’re afraid you might get beat up by a socialist
January 16, 2026 at 4:43 PM
I’m in a low stakes beef with a guy at work who’s simultaneously trying to paint me as a lumbering brute and a gay ass libtard. Like buddy just admit that you’re afraid you might get beat up by a socialist
She got a light skinned friend
Look like Finn Wolfhard
Look like Finn Wolfhard
January 13, 2026 at 1:16 PM
She got a light skinned friend
Look like Finn Wolfhard
Look like Finn Wolfhard
Capitalism will really be like “hey sacrifice so much of your time to work that you’re too tired to cook your own meals” and then conveniently be like “oh also here’s a brand new industry where we send you pre-made meals that you can cook. It’s WAY more expensive than buying groceries.”
January 12, 2026 at 2:37 PM
Capitalism will really be like “hey sacrifice so much of your time to work that you’re too tired to cook your own meals” and then conveniently be like “oh also here’s a brand new industry where we send you pre-made meals that you can cook. It’s WAY more expensive than buying groceries.”
Reposted by Crooked Union Guy
(Godzilla is destroying my city while wearing a gigantic pink cowboy hat)
Me (pointing up at Godzilla): Ok, so you got a cool hat? THAT DON'T IMPRESS ME MUCH!
Me (pointing up at Godzilla): Ok, so you got a cool hat? THAT DON'T IMPRESS ME MUCH!
January 11, 2026 at 4:28 PM
(Godzilla is destroying my city while wearing a gigantic pink cowboy hat)
Me (pointing up at Godzilla): Ok, so you got a cool hat? THAT DON'T IMPRESS ME MUCH!
Me (pointing up at Godzilla): Ok, so you got a cool hat? THAT DON'T IMPRESS ME MUCH!
I’ve actually never had an idea
January 11, 2026 at 7:59 AM
I’ve actually never had an idea
Thinking about when I got into it with some folks on here who said Jesse Welles isn’t even close to John Prine and people need to stop comparing them and I, a huge fan of both, said that I think the comparisons exist as a short hand to describe his style and this lady called me “deeply ignorant”
January 11, 2026 at 5:30 AM
Thinking about when I got into it with some folks on here who said Jesse Welles isn’t even close to John Prine and people need to stop comparing them and I, a huge fan of both, said that I think the comparisons exist as a short hand to describe his style and this lady called me “deeply ignorant”
Popping adderall and mushrooms I’m bout to organize my hallucinations by size and color
January 11, 2026 at 4:07 AM
Popping adderall and mushrooms I’m bout to organize my hallucinations by size and color
I’m a Dateline NBC man myself but today I decided to throw on a 20/20 episode while I lift and this shit is mid as hell. Production wise. The victim was not mid. prayers to the family 🙏
January 10, 2026 at 7:59 PM
I’m a Dateline NBC man myself but today I decided to throw on a 20/20 episode while I lift and this shit is mid as hell. Production wise. The victim was not mid. prayers to the family 🙏
Feature length GIF
January 10, 2026 at 9:14 AM
Feature length GIF