Anthony D. Herrera
@aherrera.bsky.social
Writer from San Antonio, Tx. My debut novel Aickman: Tales of a Normal Childhood is available now on Amazon: https://a.co/d/h3aCvnK
Dog's fucking around on the Ouija board asking the Devil if he's a good boy and shit.
February 13, 2026 at 3:26 PM
Dog's fucking around on the Ouija board asking the Devil if he's a good boy and shit.
At the barbers. There was a turtle on the floor eating hair. "Should that turtle be eating hair?" I asked. "That's no turtle," the barber said. I looked closer. He was right. It wasn't. I don't know what the fuck it was. Probably shouldn't have been eating hair, regardless.
February 13, 2026 at 4:58 AM
At the barbers. There was a turtle on the floor eating hair. "Should that turtle be eating hair?" I asked. "That's no turtle," the barber said. I looked closer. He was right. It wasn't. I don't know what the fuck it was. Probably shouldn't have been eating hair, regardless.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
Went to the Dollar Store and discovered that they'd illegally put my face on the cans of their new range of Dumb Ass Beans: Beans For The True Shithead. I took a picture of the cans but then I dropped my phone into a pot of unrelated beans at a second location.
February 10, 2026 at 9:11 PM
Went to the Dollar Store and discovered that they'd illegally put my face on the cans of their new range of Dumb Ass Beans: Beans For The True Shithead. I took a picture of the cans but then I dropped my phone into a pot of unrelated beans at a second location.
God will punish the Ghostbusters for passing judgement on the dead for that is his right and his right alone.
February 10, 2026 at 10:17 PM
God will punish the Ghostbusters for passing judgement on the dead for that is his right and his right alone.
Hiring a birthday clown to fight me
(To feel another's touch)
(To feel another's touch)
February 10, 2026 at 9:40 PM
Hiring a birthday clown to fight me
(To feel another's touch)
(To feel another's touch)
You ever see a sandwich that looks so good that Dreaming by Blondie starts playing in your head?
February 10, 2026 at 9:29 PM
You ever see a sandwich that looks so good that Dreaming by Blondie starts playing in your head?
Aslan bursts into Hogwarts and sends them all to Hell
February 10, 2026 at 9:12 PM
Aslan bursts into Hogwarts and sends them all to Hell
Went to the Dollar Store and discovered that they'd illegally put my face on the cans of their new range of Dumb Ass Beans: Beans For The True Shithead. I took a picture of the cans but then I dropped my phone into a pot of unrelated beans at a second location.
February 10, 2026 at 9:11 PM
Went to the Dollar Store and discovered that they'd illegally put my face on the cans of their new range of Dumb Ass Beans: Beans For The True Shithead. I took a picture of the cans but then I dropped my phone into a pot of unrelated beans at a second location.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
Went into the shed to grab an old bike tire to throw off a bridge. Saw a scorpion. It was writing poetry with its stinger on the back of an old envelope. My heart broke. He's never going make any money doing that. I left him to his poverty and chucked the shit out of that tire.
December 11, 2024 at 11:18 PM
Went into the shed to grab an old bike tire to throw off a bridge. Saw a scorpion. It was writing poetry with its stinger on the back of an old envelope. My heart broke. He's never going make any money doing that. I left him to his poverty and chucked the shit out of that tire.
Washing down my blood pressure pills with a Dr. Pepper like a real American.
February 10, 2026 at 8:59 PM
Washing down my blood pressure pills with a Dr. Pepper like a real American.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
That doctor who does those ear wax removal videos I love just posted a vid where he confessed that he saved up all the wax to make a statue of what he's sure his son would have looked like if women just understood him.
February 10, 2026 at 7:35 AM
That doctor who does those ear wax removal videos I love just posted a vid where he confessed that he saved up all the wax to make a statue of what he's sure his son would have looked like if women just understood him.
That doctor who does those ear wax removal videos I love just posted a vid where he confessed that he saved up all the wax to make a statue of what he's sure his son would have looked like if women just understood him.
February 10, 2026 at 7:35 AM
That doctor who does those ear wax removal videos I love just posted a vid where he confessed that he saved up all the wax to make a statue of what he's sure his son would have looked like if women just understood him.
That yellow school bus filled with shirtless old men is cruising the neighborhood again.
February 9, 2026 at 3:54 AM
That yellow school bus filled with shirtless old men is cruising the neighborhood again.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
It's clear now that the brazen thefts of such world monuments as The Statue Of Liberty and The Sydney Opera House by arch criminal Carmen Sandiego were simply high-profile distractions to mask the existence of international pedophile rings.
February 8, 2026 at 1:15 AM
It's clear now that the brazen thefts of such world monuments as The Statue Of Liberty and The Sydney Opera House by arch criminal Carmen Sandiego were simply high-profile distractions to mask the existence of international pedophile rings.
That's supposed to be a cat head balanced on a worm.
February 8, 2026 at 6:27 AM
That's supposed to be a cat head balanced on a worm.
Got new sheets for the bed. Red swirly patterns. Making me overstimulated. Rowdy as fuck. Causing scenes at the Olive Garden. Eating my spaghetti weird. Punched out the passenger window of a Kia. Family burned the sheets. Got me beige ones. Just a drone now. Like the rest of you.
February 8, 2026 at 6:17 AM
Got new sheets for the bed. Red swirly patterns. Making me overstimulated. Rowdy as fuck. Causing scenes at the Olive Garden. Eating my spaghetti weird. Punched out the passenger window of a Kia. Family burned the sheets. Got me beige ones. Just a drone now. Like the rest of you.
Figaro! Son qua
Ehi, Figaro! Son qua
Figaro qua, Figaro la, Figaro qua, Figaro la
Figaro su, Figaro giu, Figaro su, Figaro giu
Pronto prontissimo son come il fumine
Sono il factotum della citta
(Della citta, della citta, della citta, della citta)
Ehi, Figaro! Son qua
Figaro qua, Figaro la, Figaro qua, Figaro la
Figaro su, Figaro giu, Figaro su, Figaro giu
Pronto prontissimo son come il fumine
Sono il factotum della citta
(Della citta, della citta, della citta, della citta)
February 8, 2026 at 4:50 AM
Figaro! Son qua
Ehi, Figaro! Son qua
Figaro qua, Figaro la, Figaro qua, Figaro la
Figaro su, Figaro giu, Figaro su, Figaro giu
Pronto prontissimo son come il fumine
Sono il factotum della citta
(Della citta, della citta, della citta, della citta)
Ehi, Figaro! Son qua
Figaro qua, Figaro la, Figaro qua, Figaro la
Figaro su, Figaro giu, Figaro su, Figaro giu
Pronto prontissimo son come il fumine
Sono il factotum della citta
(Della citta, della citta, della citta, della citta)
It's clear now that the brazen thefts of such world monuments as The Statue Of Liberty and The Sydney Opera House by arch criminal Carmen Sandiego were simply high-profile distractions to mask the existence of international pedophile rings.
February 8, 2026 at 1:15 AM
It's clear now that the brazen thefts of such world monuments as The Statue Of Liberty and The Sydney Opera House by arch criminal Carmen Sandiego were simply high-profile distractions to mask the existence of international pedophile rings.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
He was found in his garage. Story Book Love from The Princess Bride soundtrack was playing on a loop via his Alexa. Stabbed himself in the heart with his right hand. In his left was clutched a copy of Maxim magazine. Carmen Electra on the cover. The officers agreed that it was a gentlemen's death.
February 7, 2026 at 5:21 AM
He was found in his garage. Story Book Love from The Princess Bride soundtrack was playing on a loop via his Alexa. Stabbed himself in the heart with his right hand. In his left was clutched a copy of Maxim magazine. Carmen Electra on the cover. The officers agreed that it was a gentlemen's death.
He was found in his garage. Story Book Love from The Princess Bride soundtrack was playing on a loop via his Alexa. Stabbed himself in the heart with his right hand. In his left was clutched a copy of Maxim magazine. Carmen Electra on the cover. The officers agreed that it was a gentlemen's death.
February 7, 2026 at 5:21 AM
He was found in his garage. Story Book Love from The Princess Bride soundtrack was playing on a loop via his Alexa. Stabbed himself in the heart with his right hand. In his left was clutched a copy of Maxim magazine. Carmen Electra on the cover. The officers agreed that it was a gentlemen's death.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
A saint or something must've sneezed on our doorbell camera because the images it now captures show not the physical being but the precise mutilations of their souls which has made it very difficult to identify who exactly has been shitting on our porch.
February 6, 2026 at 7:16 PM
A saint or something must've sneezed on our doorbell camera because the images it now captures show not the physical being but the precise mutilations of their souls which has made it very difficult to identify who exactly has been shitting on our porch.
Watching the Olympics. The ice has rebelled and is now skating on flesh. Scott Hamilton is weirdly enthusiastic about the situation.
February 6, 2026 at 8:35 PM
Watching the Olympics. The ice has rebelled and is now skating on flesh. Scott Hamilton is weirdly enthusiastic about the situation.
A saint or something must've sneezed on our doorbell camera because the images it now captures show not the physical being but the precise mutilations of their souls which has made it very difficult to identify who exactly has been shitting on our porch.
February 6, 2026 at 7:16 PM
A saint or something must've sneezed on our doorbell camera because the images it now captures show not the physical being but the precise mutilations of their souls which has made it very difficult to identify who exactly has been shitting on our porch.
Reposted by Anthony D. Herrera
Went down to the park to do circuits around the track and as I was leaving a representative of the city and several members of the public approached me and gave me a sash and a certificate and congratulated me on, "Having the sassiest lil' walk we ever did see."
February 6, 2026 at 7:32 AM
Went down to the park to do circuits around the track and as I was leaving a representative of the city and several members of the public approached me and gave me a sash and a certificate and congratulated me on, "Having the sassiest lil' walk we ever did see."
Not all sinkholes drop in to Hell. Yes, most sinkholes are gateways to Hell but a fair few just go to the center of the Earth which is not Hell and still others lead to unknown realms which by definition are all places not known and Hell is known.
February 6, 2026 at 7:34 AM
Not all sinkholes drop in to Hell. Yes, most sinkholes are gateways to Hell but a fair few just go to the center of the Earth which is not Hell and still others lead to unknown realms which by definition are all places not known and Hell is known.