Richard Scott
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peanutgallerycomix.bsky.social
Richard Scott
@peanutgallerycomix.bsky.social
Founder of Peanut Gallery Comics. Writer, cartoonist, songwriter, comedian.
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My latest cartoon collection is available at the Barnes and Noble website. I hear things about it. Good things. You should get.
Won't you be mine? And by "mine," I mean, "my alibi at my murder trial"?
February 15, 2026 at 12:02 AM
You have a face that can launch a thousand ships.
Mostly in the opposite direction. But still.
February 15, 2026 at 12:01 AM
You make my heart sing. Out of tune. And only Weezer's lesser works. I should probably use my voice instead.
February 15, 2026 at 12:00 AM
Roses are red, violets are blue
I don't have a poem here
Just remember that on your next botany exam
February 14, 2026 at 11:59 PM
Checkmate, libs!
February 13, 2026 at 5:14 AM
Just because.
February 13, 2026 at 5:13 AM
Some unintentionalally phallic art, courtesy of my father's grade-school arts class. At least, I hope it was unintentional.
February 11, 2026 at 3:19 PM
Scrolling through my Replies section is truly revealing. Specifically, it reveals how many times I've been blocked by snowflake putzes.
February 7, 2026 at 7:29 PM
Happy #GroundhogDay to my US friends! (Others, you're out of luck.) Be sure to carve it up delicately, serve it with lots of mashed potatoes and-- Hmm? Sorry, I'm learning that we don't actually eat groundhog. Man, I wish I knew that before sending the dinner invitation to my girlfriend's parents.
February 2, 2026 at 8:39 PM
"Eat Shit and D*e" is a song from my 2012 album. Here's the 2026 version. Feel free to sing it at your next ICE protest. Bruce Springsteen's got nothing on me.
January 30, 2026 at 2:28 PM
Don't make her angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry. (And if you are on Substack, be sure to check your spam folder.)
January 30, 2026 at 11:55 AM
Slightly sped up to fit Bluesky's Draconian 2-minute limit.
January 25, 2026 at 10:36 PM
We all make missnakes.
January 25, 2026 at 9:35 PM
Probably kind of heavy, too.
January 23, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Not sure abort this one.
January 22, 2026 at 10:08 AM
It's funny because they're bigger... Bigger than average hats.
January 20, 2026 at 10:43 PM
January 19, 2026 at 11:18 AM
Hey, sign up for my Substack and get free funny shit like this every week! (Check your spam folder if you don't see one on Wednesdays.) substack.com/@peanutgalle...
More of Me than You Can Handle
A little of me goes a long way
substack.com
January 15, 2026 at 10:38 AM
If this wasn't the first song you thought of when #MayorFrey told off ICE... I don't even know you, man! youtu.be/yNCVriK5PjI?...
Red Peters - The Closing Song
YouTube video by tripwitheric
youtu.be
January 11, 2026 at 9:56 AM
I keep being told that the gray in my hair makes me look dignified. For a guy with this much dignity, I sure laugh at a lot of fart jokes.
January 7, 2026 at 12:54 PM
"Impeach the motherfucker." You know, this is exactly the kind of rhetoric that could poison the public discourse. At least, that's what I heard from the cripple-mocking, Nazi-loving pussy-grabber.
January 4, 2026 at 6:38 PM
A question I have to ask multiple times a week.
January 4, 2026 at 3:16 PM
I've been saying this for years. Mainly because many of the most notably dumb guys I've met were named Dave.
January 2, 2026 at 8:30 AM
My resolution is to give up binge-drinking. But because I follow the Chinese calendar, I don't have to stop until the Year of the Horse.
January 2, 2026 at 3:54 AM
Happy New Year to my friends and supporters. Well, to most of you, anyway. And a couple of you get only a happy February, September, and parts of April. You know who you are and what you did.
January 2, 2026 at 3:52 AM