Richard Scott
@peanutgallerycomix.bsky.social
Founder of Peanut Gallery Comics. Writer, cartoonist, songwriter, comedian.
Pinned
My latest cartoon collection is available at the Barnes and Noble website. I hear things about it. Good things. You should get.
Won't you be mine? And by "mine," I mean, "my alibi at my murder trial"?
February 15, 2026 at 12:02 AM
Won't you be mine? And by "mine," I mean, "my alibi at my murder trial"?
You have a face that can launch a thousand ships.
Mostly in the opposite direction. But still.
Mostly in the opposite direction. But still.
February 15, 2026 at 12:01 AM
You have a face that can launch a thousand ships.
Mostly in the opposite direction. But still.
Mostly in the opposite direction. But still.
You make my heart sing. Out of tune. And only Weezer's lesser works. I should probably use my voice instead.
February 15, 2026 at 12:00 AM
You make my heart sing. Out of tune. And only Weezer's lesser works. I should probably use my voice instead.
Roses are red, violets are blue
I don't have a poem here
Just remember that on your next botany exam
I don't have a poem here
Just remember that on your next botany exam
February 14, 2026 at 11:59 PM
Roses are red, violets are blue
I don't have a poem here
Just remember that on your next botany exam
I don't have a poem here
Just remember that on your next botany exam
Checkmate, libs!
February 13, 2026 at 5:14 AM
Checkmate, libs!
Just because.
February 13, 2026 at 5:13 AM
Just because.
Some unintentionalally phallic art, courtesy of my father's grade-school arts class. At least, I hope it was unintentional.
February 11, 2026 at 3:19 PM
Some unintentionalally phallic art, courtesy of my father's grade-school arts class. At least, I hope it was unintentional.
Scrolling through my Replies section is truly revealing. Specifically, it reveals how many times I've been blocked by snowflake putzes.
February 7, 2026 at 7:29 PM
Scrolling through my Replies section is truly revealing. Specifically, it reveals how many times I've been blocked by snowflake putzes.
Happy #GroundhogDay to my US friends! (Others, you're out of luck.) Be sure to carve it up delicately, serve it with lots of mashed potatoes and-- Hmm? Sorry, I'm learning that we don't actually eat groundhog. Man, I wish I knew that before sending the dinner invitation to my girlfriend's parents.
February 2, 2026 at 8:39 PM
Happy #GroundhogDay to my US friends! (Others, you're out of luck.) Be sure to carve it up delicately, serve it with lots of mashed potatoes and-- Hmm? Sorry, I'm learning that we don't actually eat groundhog. Man, I wish I knew that before sending the dinner invitation to my girlfriend's parents.
"Eat Shit and D*e" is a song from my 2012 album. Here's the 2026 version. Feel free to sing it at your next ICE protest. Bruce Springsteen's got nothing on me.
January 30, 2026 at 2:28 PM
"Eat Shit and D*e" is a song from my 2012 album. Here's the 2026 version. Feel free to sing it at your next ICE protest. Bruce Springsteen's got nothing on me.
Don't make her angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry. (And if you are on Substack, be sure to check your spam folder.)
January 30, 2026 at 11:55 AM
Don't make her angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry. (And if you are on Substack, be sure to check your spam folder.)
Slightly sped up to fit Bluesky's Draconian 2-minute limit.
January 25, 2026 at 10:36 PM
Slightly sped up to fit Bluesky's Draconian 2-minute limit.
We all make missnakes.
January 25, 2026 at 9:35 PM
We all make missnakes.
Probably kind of heavy, too.
January 23, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Probably kind of heavy, too.
Not sure abort this one.
January 22, 2026 at 10:08 AM
Not sure abort this one.
It's funny because they're bigger... Bigger than average hats.
January 20, 2026 at 10:43 PM
It's funny because they're bigger... Bigger than average hats.
Hey, sign up for my Substack and get free funny shit like this every week! (Check your spam folder if you don't see one on Wednesdays.) substack.com/@peanutgalle...
More of Me than You Can Handle
A little of me goes a long way
substack.com
January 15, 2026 at 10:38 AM
Hey, sign up for my Substack and get free funny shit like this every week! (Check your spam folder if you don't see one on Wednesdays.) substack.com/@peanutgalle...
If this wasn't the first song you thought of when #MayorFrey told off ICE... I don't even know you, man! youtu.be/yNCVriK5PjI?...
Red Peters - The Closing Song
YouTube video by tripwitheric
youtu.be
January 11, 2026 at 9:56 AM
If this wasn't the first song you thought of when #MayorFrey told off ICE... I don't even know you, man! youtu.be/yNCVriK5PjI?...
I keep being told that the gray in my hair makes me look dignified. For a guy with this much dignity, I sure laugh at a lot of fart jokes.
January 7, 2026 at 12:54 PM
I keep being told that the gray in my hair makes me look dignified. For a guy with this much dignity, I sure laugh at a lot of fart jokes.
"Impeach the motherfucker." You know, this is exactly the kind of rhetoric that could poison the public discourse. At least, that's what I heard from the cripple-mocking, Nazi-loving pussy-grabber.
January 4, 2026 at 6:38 PM
"Impeach the motherfucker." You know, this is exactly the kind of rhetoric that could poison the public discourse. At least, that's what I heard from the cripple-mocking, Nazi-loving pussy-grabber.
A question I have to ask multiple times a week.
January 4, 2026 at 3:16 PM
A question I have to ask multiple times a week.
I've been saying this for years. Mainly because many of the most notably dumb guys I've met were named Dave.
January 2, 2026 at 8:30 AM
I've been saying this for years. Mainly because many of the most notably dumb guys I've met were named Dave.
My resolution is to give up binge-drinking. But because I follow the Chinese calendar, I don't have to stop until the Year of the Horse.
January 2, 2026 at 3:54 AM
My resolution is to give up binge-drinking. But because I follow the Chinese calendar, I don't have to stop until the Year of the Horse.
Happy New Year to my friends and supporters. Well, to most of you, anyway. And a couple of you get only a happy February, September, and parts of April. You know who you are and what you did.
January 2, 2026 at 3:52 AM
Happy New Year to my friends and supporters. Well, to most of you, anyway. And a couple of you get only a happy February, September, and parts of April. You know who you are and what you did.